sheltering kids

[SHANEFROMGA]

My 10 year old daughter is staying during the day at the house of a girl she goes to school with, her mom does a small in home daycare and it is only costing use like 60 bucks a week, sounds great on the surface. thede people are weird religious, like don't tell their kids about their own bodies and did not let the girl watch the "sex ed" videos at the end of the school year because "they don't need to know about that stuff". today they went to the library for story day and they all decided to do book reports while there, my daughter loves cats so she picked up a book all about cats and started to thumb through, she saw a picture of a mom cat giving birth to a litter a of kittens, so , like any 10 year old she showed the other kids , their mom had a hissie fit and told my girl she should have known better and the they were to young to see those kinds of things!! and that she my be able to see that at her house but they are christians. later in the day my girl thought she had had her first . and she called to her friend to get her mom, hr mom came in and told her if that is what was happening not to tell her daughter because she doesn't know that is going to happen!!! it turns out she wasn't starting, but still how do you not let yor little girl, who will be going through this major life event soon know whats up. she's going to wake up one day with a big red problem and freak the f out!!!! my daughter doesn't have all the facts, but she knows whats what about the coming future of her body. she knows that the stork has nothing to do with babies, even if she not sure of how "reproduction" is done.
am i wrong for having a informed real world kid?

[AngelAmy]

I think the more they know the better off they are. It's always good to be prepared and knowledgeable.

As you said...she doesn't need to know the details just yet but at least she has some clue as to what life is all about.

[Kris10]

Your not wrong at all and you don't know how quickly I would pull my child out of that "daycare". It's not worth the savings in money when who knows what this woman is telling her on the side. She may make your daughter ashamed of her own body and you don't need that, you've done nothing wrong. This woman is sheltering her children and imo, its not healthy.

[Furtherman]

am i wrong for having a informed real world kid?

Nope, you and your daughter are on the right track. Good for you.


The other girl? Stripper.

[landarch]

Those types of people are the most dangerous to society. I hope they are not indoctrinating your daughter with that drivel.

[DolaMight]

Statistics show that when girls are exposed to cat pornography at a young age it leads to teenage pregnancy. You won't find any cat porn in the bible.

[nukinfuts]

You are not wrong at all. That woman is going to wish she had told her daughter about these things because I have found if you don't talk to your kids about these things then they learn from their friends at school and you know how accurate kids can be when it comes to sex and puberty:smile: It sounds like really cheap daycare for the summer but you may want to do what I did with my daughter who thinks that her . is on the horizon...I went out and bought her the necessities and gave her the talk about what to do so if it should happen while she is at daycamp she won't have to go and find an adult. People who try to shelter their kids like that are just asking for trouble. It really bothers me when people seem so blind because of their religion.

[SatCam]

What you save in money you make up for in brainwashing :unsure:

[grlNIN]

Wow ok, so the other day i finished a book called The Girls Who Went Away, first hand accounts from surrendering mothers in the 1950s and 1960s when, DING DING DING-no BC, no Gynecological visits and the social stigma of being a "whore" if you had sex.They were whisked away to novelty maternity homes and basically went through the gamut of horrific experiences which included their children being taken away from them.

I'm now finishing a book The Choices We Made, where famous men and women speak out about their mostly illegal and legal abortions.

The point of all this blubbery is that the most prolific sentiments that have been echoed in the pages of these books were that if there had been some kind of education, knowledge, communication-with parents or authority figures otherwise then they most likely would have never had to endure all the shit they did.

I don't give a shit what religious affiliation you hold, ignorance is ignorance across the board and the only things worse than the simple concealment, the shame of sexual education and awareness are the consequences that affect the person(s) involved and those who withheld the knowledge in the first place.

[Thebazile78]

Dude, this sounds like my friend Irene.

With each child they had (or adopted, as the case is showing) Irene's parents became more and more conservative. They are now so far "right" that I would describe them as "reactionary." (For example, her father once told my father that it gave him great comfort to know that his soul would go to Purgatory after he died...my father wanted to pop him one in the nose, mostly because my dad's dad had just died.)

It also sounds like my cousins.

I understand the impulse to want to shield your child from the world, because the world is a scary place, but if you don't educate them, they will pick things up from their friends. And those things are likely to be incorrect, scary and just plain idiotic.

While I disagree about the level of detail my mother went into about puberty and sex, because even now as an adult I find it to be creepy and frightening (and vow not to make the same mistake with my own children), I do appreciate her honesty in telling me about the changes that would happen to my body as I got older and her insistence that I had the facts.

When we had our "puberty" talk in grammar school, I found that I was a bit better informed than my classmates, and, although it embarrassed me to talk about it, it was useful to share the (correct) information with them in that setting. Many of their parents had given them a basic overview of what happens to create a pregnancy without going into the nitty gritty of sex itself.

Lastly, statistics and recent research studies have proven that abstinence-only sex ed programs do NOT reduce the overall rates of teen pregnancy and STD's. (Short answer? Ignorance leads to babies and syphilis.)

If you're doing your job as a parent, this means you've already instilled a moral compass into your child so that he/she can function in the world. Making them into a perpetual infant, on the other hand, demeans you both.

[LaBoob]

I was a sheltered child! My mom (very religious) didn't tell me anything about sex except that it was bad. I figured everything else out for myself, but it took me a LONG time and I got a lot of things wrong. I doubt this woman's daughter is completely clueless, despite how sheltered she seems to be.

[Thebazile78]

I was a sheltered child! My mom (very religious) didn't tell me anything about sex except that it was bad. I figured everything else out for myself, but it took me a LONG time and I got a lot of things wrong. I doubt this woman's daughter is completely clueless, despite how sheltered she seems to be.

Wow. I find that to be incredibly interesting.

My parents are both deeply religious in their own ways.

My father has an awkward relationship to anything dealing with "baser instincts" (bodily functions, sex, death; so he's with your mom on "sex is bad") while my mother is ... open about her feelings on the subject, to the point where it made me VERY uncomfortable as a kid.

I think my mother's realization that going through life ignorant about the biological aspects of growing up, as she had, wasn't the best way to face being an independent adult made her a lot more willing to talk about puberty, sex, whatever. I'm now comfortable enough in my own skin that I can ask for advice and trade research about x, y or z process, although I keep my sex life to myself (after all, it's not just me involved) ... which is my comfort level.

But then there are my cousins, who are my mother's nieces & nephews, raised by my mother's younger sister. Who I worry about when I allow myself the time to do it. Those kids are going to have a rough time transitioning from their grammar school experience (home-schooled, very religious) to their high school experience (supposed to be public high school ... YIPE! Even I was terrified of public high school and I was a lot less sheltered than they are.) ... the eldest will be going through that in September. (Maybe I will send her a "survival care package" ... she might like that.)

Anyway, this just shows that parents EVERYWHERE are terrified for their children. How they direct those impulses to protect/shield differ from parent to parent. I wish that it didn't have to be so extreme for some people!

[zathrus]

I agree with you. At the age of 10, kids need to have some idea what their bodies will soon be going through. As to reproduction, I plan on telling my kids that the storck deson't deliver babies. That mommys & daddys creat the baby (not explaining how) and that mpommy goes to the hospital and the dr takes that baby out.

[grlNIN]

I agree with you. At the age of 10, kids need to have some idea what their bodies will soon be going through. As to reproduction, I plan on telling my kids that the storck deson't deliver babies. That mommys & daddys creat the baby (not explaining how) and that mpommy goes to the hospital and the dr takes that baby out.

No offense but at the level kids these days are maturing, or "progressing" rather, i think at 10 years old it's safe to cut out the baby nonsense and tell them exactly what's what.

I understand that TMI is unnecessary, i don't think anyone is expecting parents to show them first hand or provide graphic details but-simply telling your child(ren) that "mommy and daddy make the baby and the doctor takes care of the rest" isn't going to realistically prepare them for the onslaught of sexualized behavior theyre undoubtedly going to be surrounded by.(10 years old are going into the 6th grade, kids start dating, Sex Ed is first taught, etc.).

Not to mention what theyre most likely exposed to on a day to day basis with the media, TV, movies, pop culture and just the peers theyll be surrounded by that impose or at the very least negotiate their own over sexualized or want-to-be adult sexualized behavior around your kid.

This is all my personal opinion and not meant to say anything about your parenting skills. I am a pretty young adult myself, i'm only 23 years old and while my junior high years weren't anything like the ones teens are going through now, they are relatively close behind me. So i see that as a HUGE progression and change to happen in such a small amount of time between our two age groups.

i also think that with the overall amount of threats and diseases that are circulating in our community, state, country and so on that there is no reason as to why you should keep your tween in the dark about the dangers that can specifically target them and their age groups, those are risks that i do not even want to take a chance on. I would rather my child have a grounded, realistic view of sex than be misinformed or worse, completely unaware of it and all it entails and im not saying that i want my 10/11/12 year old to have to grow up too fast in learning these things but at the end of the day i would rather have them learn about sex through education and not through uninformed choices/judgments and their repercussions.

[denko]

My 10 year old daughter is staying during the day at the house of a girl she goes to school with, her mom does a small in home daycare and it is only costing use like 60 bucks a week, sounds great on the surface. thede people are weird religious, like don't tell their kids about their own bodies and did not let the girl watch the "sex ed" videos at the end of the school year because "they don't need to know about that stuff". today they went to the library for story day and they all decided to do book reports while there, my daughter loves cats so she picked up a book all about cats and started to thumb through, she saw a picture of a mom cat giving birth to a litter a of kittens, so , like any 10 year old she showed the other kids , their mom had a hissie fit and told my girl she should have known better and the they were to young to see those kinds of things!! and that she my be able to see that at her house but they are christians. later in the day my girl thought she had had her first . and she called to her friend to get her mom, hr mom came in and told her if that is what was happening not to tell her daughter because she doesn't know that is going to happen!!! it turns out she wasn't starting, but still how do you not let yor little girl, who will be going through this major life event soon know whats up. she's going to wake up one day with a big red problem and freak the f out!!!! my daughter doesn't have all the facts, but she knows whats what about the coming future of her body. she knows that the stork has nothing to do with babies, even if she not sure of how "reproduction" is done.
am i wrong for having a informed real world kid?


is [edit] their daughter's name stalker patti by any chance?

[SHANEFROMGA]

is [edit] their daughter's name stalker patti by any chance?

at the rate she's going i fear she will be......just to update, my daughter is no longer going to that ladies house, one of her best friends moms (who happens to be a teacher at the school my daughter goes to) will be keeping her for the rest of the summer. :clap:

we got my daughter this book about a year ago, it has alot of good info for young girls broke down so they can grasp it. i recommend to anyone with a daughter a that age.

<a href="http://s190.photobucket.com/albums/z18/monkeypoot/?action=view&current=71PTJ906NCL__SL500_BO2204203200_PIs.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i190.photobucket.com/albums/z18/monkeypoot/71PTJ906NCL__SL500_BO2204203200_PIs.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

[Thomas Merton]

Are these people named Flanders by any chance? Good lord, pun intended

[Coach]

Her Friend's name isn't Carrie by any chance?..If so, she better stay good friends with her.......
but really..kids at 10..are wayyyy more advanced than we were..at least from what my sister has told me and from what I have seen as a coach.
I applaud you on teaching your daughter about her body.
I think a better "afterschool" program might be in order for her though.
Religious nuts can really screw with your kid's head.

[Thebazile78]

....
we got my daughter this book about a year ago, it has alot of good info for young girls broke down so they can grasp it. i recommend to anyone with a daughter a that age.

<a href="http://s190.photobucket.com/albums/z18/monkeypoot/?action=view&current=71PTJ906NCL__SL500_BO2204203200_PIs.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i190.photobucket.com/albums/z18/monkeypoot/71PTJ906NCL__SL500_BO2204203200_PIs.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

Honestly, that's one of THE best "this is what's happening to you right now" books ever written. It makes it easier for daughters to talk to their parents about all the stuff ... it's not limited to knowing about your period, but the book also discusses stuff like acne, mood swings, showering (oh yes, showering is now IMPORTANT) and how to handle it if you're the first in your class (or last in your class) to start developing physically.

I gave it to my cousin a couple of Christmases ago, figuring that it would be a good way for her to get used to talking with her mom about all that stuff.