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Judge Smails
06-29-2008, 07:45 PM
DIE!!! You dirty, smelly fat fucks! These Little Rascals are the worst invention in the history of history. Sure, they're great for the elderly and legitimately diabled people, but they also give zero incentive for these worthless fucks to stop stuffing they pie holes in order to get about.

OK, so I just got back from Atlantic City, which is Little Rascal Nirvana apparently. Before leaving, we hit up the buffet at Taj Mahal. (I know - let loose with all the comments of how I deserve everything I got for going to a buffet.) So, I'm at the dessert station and I get two Cappucinos for my wife and I and this behemoth of a man, in his Little Rascal, is trying to maneuver himself around the dessert station. He's about 450-500 lbs. His Little Rascal is about three feet wide and he's trying to get around a space that's less than four feet wide. Picture the scene in Austin Powers where he's trying to turn the golf cart in the hallway.

All I want to do is get to my table before the coffee gives me third degree burns on my hands. I see an opening and I decide to scoot between Jabba the Hut and a stack of high chairs. Just as I'm going by, the fat fuck makes a quick left and runs over my pinky toe. I scream and proceed to drop one of the coffees on my leg.

I yell: "Watch where you're going with that thing!" and this totally unremorseful bucket of goo says to me: "Why don't you try not to be in such a hurry and try to have some patience for the disabled."

I fucking LOST IT! I started screaming a torrent of profanities at him and calling him a worthless fat fucking piece of shit and telling him how his only disability is that he can't stop eating everything that isn't nailed down. The hostess hears this and of course I'm in the wrong because I'm making a scene and using foul language. All the blue haired little old ladies are looking at me like I'm Hitler incarnate.

My wife gets wind of the goings on as she's getting herself a nice slice of cheesecake. She makes a beeline for me and wisks me out of the exit before I start throwing punches at the guy in the Little Rascal, who is now feeling his oats because the Geritol Set is in his corner, and he's screaming at me at the top of his lungs.

So, now I don't know if me toe's broken. My wife had to drive home, which took nearly two fucking hours for a trip I could have made in a little over one hour. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! I'm in a pissy mood!

Thanks for hearing my rant. Commence with the funny, abusive comments.

lleeder
06-29-2008, 07:49 PM
That would have never happened to you at the steakhouse.

joethebartender
06-29-2008, 07:52 PM
It wasn't Paul Proudhomme, was it?

http://labellecuisine.com/images/Katrina%20-%20K-Paul's%20reopens%20(photo%20by%20Mel%20Evans).jpg

Kevin
06-29-2008, 07:52 PM
Only commoners get broken toes from going to a buffet.

mdr55
06-29-2008, 07:54 PM
My bro was in A.C. today too.




You should have called for medical attention to look at your foot while you were still in Taj. Now there's no proof that your toe was ran over there to collect damages.

Cito Gaston
06-29-2008, 07:54 PM
How fucking awesome it would have been to see this go down! I thought I was the only lunatic, as I've had my moments with these people as well.

I tip my cap to you sir.

Cito Gaston
06-29-2008, 07:55 PM
My bro was in A.C. today too.




You should have called for medical attention to look at your foot while you were still in Taj. Now there's no proof that your toe was ran over there to collect damages.

Jesus Marc, your brother doesn't just like AC......

Kevin
06-29-2008, 07:55 PM
How fucking awesome it would have been to see this go down! I thought I was the only lunatic, as I've had my moments with these people as well.

I tip my cap to you sir.

YOU BETTER NOT HAVE YELLED AT HARLON!!!

lleeder
06-29-2008, 07:55 PM
I like the fact that your wife was so concerned she got a slice of cheesecake.

~Katja~
06-29-2008, 07:56 PM
if you keep going back to the desert station at a buffet you soon will be thankful for these little rascals

Freakshow
06-29-2008, 07:57 PM
motherfuckers!!!!!111!!!!

http://celiasue.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/petehomeimage.jpg

IamPixie
06-29-2008, 07:58 PM
All I want to do is get to my table before the coffee gives me third degree burns on my hands. I see an opening and I decide to scoot between Jabba the Hut and a stack of high chairs. Just as I'm going by, the fat fuck makes a quick left and runs over my pinky toe. I scream and proceed to drop one of the coffees on my leg.

I yell: "Watch where you're going with that thing!" and this totally unremorseful bucket of goo says to me: "Why don't you try not to be in such a hurry and try to have some patience for the disabled."

.

These two paragraphs are hysterical. I can picture the whole thing going down in my head.

Right after it happened was the first thing that popped into your head "I can't wait to post about this on.net"?

mdr55
06-29-2008, 07:59 PM
Jesus Marc, your brother doesn't just like AC......


He was playing poker since last night and he won only $60!

Our friend Roger lost like $300. And he came back from Vegas Friday.

They haven't won for awhile and keep going. I think I have to but out the Gambler's Anonymous phamplets again.

lleeder
06-29-2008, 08:01 PM
Luckily there was a security camera there to capture what really happened.

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/OUGEHBs5oWY&hl=en"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/OUGEHBs5oWY&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

bobrobot
06-29-2008, 08:06 PM
Once when I was at the buffet at Red Rock West, a guy onna rascal crashed into my dick!!!

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2100/2390466760_3471fe1649.jpg

mdr55
06-29-2008, 08:08 PM
Once when I was at the buffet at Red Rock West, a guy onna rascal crashed into my dick!!!

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2100/2390466760_3471fe1649.jpg


Did you notify that guy's insurance company so that Mofo's driving insurance would go up?


Another lawsuit lost! You could have collected damages too.

IamPixie
06-29-2008, 08:11 PM
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/TTXvRAp9wfs&hl=en"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/TTXvRAp9wfs&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Freakshow
06-29-2008, 08:11 PM
Once when I was at the buffet at Red Rock West, a guy onna rascal crashed into my dick!!!


Did it break your dick? He broke his dick, earl.

~Katja~
06-29-2008, 08:13 PM
this all of the sudden reminded me of my grocery shopping story... where an old lady that should have been in one of these rascals was pushing her shopping crat in front of me.

I was pushing one of these car carts for kiddies, they are huge, hard to steer and just overall a hassle.
I rolled into her heels. She turned around and nearly jumped at my throat. She couldn't reallt talk, had some speech issue... and while I aplogized I could not help but laugh at her failed angry speech trying to tell me off...
As she walkes by me again I am still chuckling and she got so pissed and jumed at me again how I am making fun of her... (I just could barely understand her...lol)
it was a funny moment.

Judge Smails
06-29-2008, 08:17 PM
Right after it happened was the first thing that popped into your head "I can't wait to post about this on.net"?

As I mentioned, my wife drove home- so I had a lot of time alone with my thoughts. I pretty much spent two hours running over the wording in my head head - getting all the Jabba the Hutt references down and whatnot. Actually, I must say that this thread was pretty cathartic. Ehh, poor guy was probably having a bad day himself - but still - FUCK HIM in his FAT PALSY ASS!!!

lleeder
06-29-2008, 08:19 PM
He's about 450-500 lbs.


I can't wait to see his version of the story on Wackbag.

King Hippos Bandaid
06-29-2008, 08:20 PM
I can't wait to see his version of the story on Wackbag.


:lol:

well done Wendell

Smails , I would have tipped the cow, then laffed at him

IamPixie
06-29-2008, 08:21 PM
As I mentioned, my wife drove home- so I had a lot of time alone with my thoughts. I pretty much spent two hours running over the wording in my head head - getting all the Jabba the Hutt references down and whatnot. Actually, I must say that this thread was pretty cathartic. Ehh, poor guy was probably having a bad day himself - but still - FUCK HIM in his FAT PALSY ASS!!!

it was very well worded. here's some more george-goodness to cheer you up.

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/pJK9UnmqT-A&hl=en"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/pJK9UnmqT-A&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

~Katja~
06-29-2008, 08:22 PM
I can't wait to see his version of the story on Wackbag.

lol:lol:

Foster
06-29-2008, 08:22 PM
I was staying in a Disney Resort once, waiting for a bus to take my ex and I to EPCOT. The bus pulls up and the driver gets out and tells this fat shit on a Rascal "Sorry sir, the lift isn't working on this bus. You're going to have to wait for the next one".
The fat shit goes "Oh, it's OK".
He then gets up; picks up the Rascal and carries the fucking thing onto the bus.

Yeah, he was disabled.

Kevin
06-29-2008, 08:34 PM
I can't wait to see his version of the story on Wackbag.

Goddamn LLeeder, that was some funny shit.

Foster
06-29-2008, 08:39 PM
I have to say this is my all time favorite Thread name.
Getting the word "MotherFucker" in the title three times without sounding repetitive is not an easy task.

Tenbatsuzen
06-29-2008, 08:52 PM
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! I'm in a pissy mood!

Thanks for hearing my rant. Commence with the funny, abusive comments.

ONE FLAG!

DiabloSammich
06-29-2008, 09:14 PM
I can't wait to see his version of the story on Wackbag.


WOW.

You get this.....:clap:

Ritalin
06-30-2008, 07:00 AM
I was staying in a Disney Resort once, waiting for a bus to take my ex and I to EPCOT. The bus pulls up and the driver gets out and tells this fat shit on a Rascal "Sorry sir, the lift isn't working on this bus. You're going to have to wait for the next one".
The fat shit goes "Oh, it's OK".
He then gets up; picks up the Rascal and carries the fucking thing onto the bus.

Yeah, he was disabled.

I've said it before: Disney is Mecca for the obese, and they all make the pilgrimage with their filthy little pudgy offspring.

Reynolds
06-30-2008, 07:20 AM
DIE!!! You dirty, smelly fat fucks! blah blah blah abusive comments.

Thank You Judge.

A.J.
06-30-2008, 07:46 AM
You should have slashed his tires.

Hottub
06-30-2008, 08:17 AM
Don't call me Norman.
Call me Chubbsie Ubbsie
http://www.actwin.com/toaph/life/rascals/chubby.jpg.

SatCam
06-30-2008, 11:36 AM
What a departure from your last AC visit

TheMojoPin
06-30-2008, 01:11 PM
When the Little Rascals grew too old for their cute antics, they were given to fatties for them to devour. True story.

TheMojoPin
06-30-2008, 01:16 PM
Well, they chewed up the chicken man in Philly last night
Now, they ate up his house, too
Down on the boardwalk theyre gettin ready for a feast
Gonna see what them eatin' boys can do

Now, theres Rascals bustin' in from outta state
And the waistlines cant get no relief
Gonna be rumblin' guts out on the promenade
And the all you can eat buffets hangin on by the skin of their teeth

Jujubees2
06-30-2008, 01:28 PM
I was staying in a Disney Resort once, waiting for a bus to take my ex and I to EPCOT. The bus pulls up and the driver gets out and tells this fat shit on a Rascal "Sorry sir, the lift isn't working on this bus. You're going to have to wait for the next one".
The fat shit goes "Oh, it's OK".
He then gets up; picks up the Rascal and carries the fucking thing onto the bus.

Yeah, he was disabled.

That's because Disney lets anyone with a wheelchair, rascal, etc. to bypass the line and get right on the ride. And not only that person but his/her entire party!

britneypablo
06-30-2008, 02:15 PM
i want a rascal, then i could accost those fats in rascals and it would be a "fair fight"...i bet with the lighter weight advantage i could really roll out....pimp my rascal

Melissa the Accountant
06-30-2008, 06:20 PM
I work for a medical group and we have tons of fat people here. I'm not what you'd call skinny - I'm about 5 lbs overweight at this point, but at least I take the damn stairs. Our building has two floors - and a single elevator that goes up and down one story, mostly intended for delivery people and the occasional wheelchair bound person. But every morning I take the 15 steps to the second floor, while a group of fat women waits for the elevator to come down and take them up. Every day when I go down the same 15 steps to go home, a group of fat women waits for the elevator to come up and take them downstairs. And I sit here and think, Jesus, you can't even go down some stairs?

I guess it's just hard for me to look at people as disabled when pretty much all of them have a choice about their weight, whether they want to acknowledge that or not. For, say, an amputee, there isn't much they can do to return themselves to a normal state of being. A fat person can change their behavior and undo a lot of the damage.

Melissa the Accountant
06-30-2008, 06:28 PM
That's because Disney lets anyone with a wheelchair, rascal, etc. to bypass the line and get right on the ride. And not only that person but his/her entire party!

Oh, I missed this the first time! This is a huge pet peeve of mine - even though it's really not the company's fault so much. Before Southwest had their latest boarding policy (left my travel job before it changed, so I haven't seen the new one in action), it used to be that anyone with a "child under four years" or a "disability" was allowed to declare themselves a preboard and board before everyone else. All the airlines do this to give passengers like that some extra time before all the other people come charging on board. It's just that on airlines with assigned seating, it's not advantageous to fake it. The airline doesn't really question people's declared status or ask for proof, since they are afraid of getting slapped for discrimination. Predictably, people abused the shit out of this. You'd see women taking their kid who was obviously like 10 through the preboard line, or a family of 12 with a single infant, all deciding they need to get on the plane first. Shit, a row only seats three anyway! Then there are the people in the preboard line who have nothing wrong with them that would make them need extra time. They lug their huge carryon down while they sprint ahead of the other preboards to get the best seat, then effortlessly heave the bag up into the overhead bin.

My coworker and I used to stand there in the A line and evaluate the preboards out loud for legitimacy. We considered it a moral deficiency for someone to declare unrightful preboard status simply for the privilege of getting to go before everyone else.

I think their new boarding policy might have made fake preboarding less advantageous - I think they are still given extra time but they might not get to board before everyone else now. I'm betting the number of "disabled" people has shrunk significantly since now there are easier ways to sit in the front of the plane.

drizzle
06-30-2008, 06:34 PM
i want a rascal, then i could accost those fats in rascals and it would be a "fair fight"...i bet with the lighter weight advantage i could really roll out....pimp my rascal

U are in Nascar cuntry, so plaster that bitch with lots of ads kid! Did I mention Hippo needs one of these?

fezident
06-30-2008, 06:49 PM
God how I hate being stuck behind a fatty. They take up the whole damn sidewalk. And they always have a giant bucket of soda that they're guzzling through a straw, so now their elbows are out.

Fargin' bastages really need to stay home.


Here's a proven truth:
Anybody standing still on an escalator is fatter than me. Always.

nukinfuts
06-30-2008, 06:57 PM
I am so glad you posted this because I have been run over by these fatties in Walmart and at amusement parks. Maybe if they walked they wouldn't be so damn fat that they need a rascal to ride around on, it just really kills me to see people that are huge riding on these..YOU KNOW that their only handicap is that they can't keep from shoveling food into their fat mouths. Gland problem my ass...with the million kinds of medication out there plus the handy gastric bypass there is NO REASON that being fat should be a handicap. I am by no means skinny but give me a break, where is the point in your fatness that you give up and decide to be a blob on wheels? I don't think you should get a handicap license plate for being a pig..park in the back of the lot and walk some of that fat ass off.

SatCam
06-30-2008, 07:09 PM
This is what the second half of wall*e is about