So I'm Writing a Best Man Speech...

[CofyCrakCocaine]

I should have done this a week ago. I have no clue what to say in it. It's my brother's wedding. I love him but I don't like him that much, so anything I say is going to be a mile-long highway of bullshit.

Any suggestions for an opening line? Serious posts only.

[Devo37]

- Don't Curse.

- Don't make inside-jokes that no one else will understand.

[led37zep]

Don't copy other best man jokes.


I'm getting sick of "There are two words to a perfect marriage" "Yes Dear".


Start with a light hearted joke.

Tell a PG-13 story about your brother that will make everyone laugh.

end with a heart felt statement about how happy you are that your brother met such a perfect woman.

Bing...Bang...Boom.

[jauble]

older or younger? and if you dont mind what is the age difference.

[Coach]

http://weddings.about.com/od/theweddingparty/a/toastsamples_4.htm
http://www.freeweddingtoasts.net/
Seriously, I was always told to:
1) Introduce and tell everyone who you are.
2) Find good and funny story from childhood and find the quality in it that would make He/She a good Groom/Bride
3) Use an appropriate old (Insert ethnicity here) proverb about being newlyweds
4) Tie it all together and wish them the best of luck.

[Tenbatsuzen]

- Don't Curse.

- Don't make inside-jokes that no one else will understand.



Actually, my brother zinged me with a inside joke that only four people got, but it was woven so well into the speech that it went over pretty well.

[Recyclerz]

A subject I might be able to help with. I've given two best man speeches, fairly successfully, if I do say so myself. For my brother's wedding I did a longish comic poem, but that takes a lot of work so I'll tell you about the other one. It sounds pretentious at first but trust me. Modify the Aristophanes speech from Plato's Symposium

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symposium_%28Plato%29

I'll bullet-point it for you.

Many great thinkers have pondered the nature of Love. I think the best explanation may have come from the Greek poet Aristophanes
Aristophanes tells us that humans, in their original state, used to be both man and woman. And each human used to be blissful and content.
Then the gods, to take humans down a peg, split them all in half, dividing not only the bodies but also their souls
And ever since, all human activity - dating, etc., has been all about finding our other halves, our soulmates
Two incomplete souls finding each other, becoming whole, becoming one
Ladies and Gentlemen, we have the honor of witnessing such a happy event today


Customize as necessary.

Now, admittedly, this may be a bit much, especially if the happy couple is getting married only because the guy forgot to pull out. But if you're able to pull this off, you just might be able to get yourself one of those bridesmaid in a closet stories that everybody likes at the bar for years afterwards. :wink:

[jauble]

A subject I might be able to help with. I've given two best man speeches, fairly successfully, if I do say so myself. For my brother's wedding I did a longish comic poem, but that takes a lot of work so I'll tell you about the other one. It sounds pretentious at first but trust me. Modify the Aristophanes speech from Plato's Symposium

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symposium_%28Plato%29

I'll bullet-point it for you.

Many great thinkers have pondered the nature of Love. I think the best explanation may have come from the Greek poet Aristophanes
Aristophanes tells us that humans, in their original state, used to be both man and woman. And each human used to be blissful and content.
Then the gods, to take humans down a peg, split them all in half, dividing not only the bodies but also their souls
And ever since, all human activity - dating, etc., has been all about finding our other halves, our soulmates
Two incomplete souls finding each other, becoming whole, becoming one
Ladies and Gentlemen, we have the honor of witnessing such a happy event today


Customize as necessary.

Now, admittedly, this may be a bit much, especially if the happy couple is getting married only because the guy forgot to pull out. But if you're able to pull this off, you just might be able to get yourself one of those bridesmaid in a closet stories that everybody likes at the bar for years afterwards. :wink:

I now have a mancrush on you and of course no homo. That is awesome.

[Recyclerz]

I now have a mancrush on you and of course no homo. That is awesome.

Sure, imagine how hot for me you would be if you were a woman and actually had real emotions.

Actually, I just lucky that they taught Plato early enough in my freshman year so that I was still paying attention and not showing up stoned.

[jonyrotn]

I've been a best man three times before and will be once again in September..
All three speeches where and the fourth will be unrehearsed..I always had a few ideas of stuff I wanted to talk about but kinda just had a few drinks then stood up and bullshitted my way thru..The best advice I could give you is to be funny, be real funny and then no matter what you say people will think you were a big hit..
One of my brothers married a Japanese chick, so my whole speech was translated by my sister inlaw and everyone still enjoyed it..I mean they all looked like they were laughing.. :happy:..

[bigtim666]

End it with " And may all your ups and downs be under the covers"

[jauble]

Sure, imagine how hot for me you would be if you were a woman and actually had real emotions.

Actually, I just lucky that they taught Plato early enough in my freshman year so that I was still paying attention and not showing up stoned.

those exist?...I just thought thats when one person got a beer for someone else...I have so much to learn.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Thanks for the suggestions.

I really don't like the idea of writing this speech. I'm a big fan of the Jonyrotn method of speech-giving, but there's gonna be some Russians in the audience who need a translation ahead of time though I have no idea how that's gonna be worked out...

The other pain in the ass about this speech is that I really can't go for honest humor... he's six years older than me so I have pretty much a wide range of horror stories to tell about him but it can't be anything deemed "embarrassing".

I guess I'm writing this thing in the hotel room on a piece of notepaper...

[jauble]

Thanks for the suggestions.

I really don't like the idea of writing this speech. I'm a big fan of the Jonyrotn method of speech-giving, but there's gonna be some Russians in the audience who need a translation ahead of time though I have no idea how that's gonna be worked out...

The other pain in the ass about this speech is that I really can't go for honest humor... he's six years older than me so I have pretty much a wide range of horror stories to tell about him but it can't be anything deemed "embarrassing".

I guess I'm writing this thing in the hotel room on a piece of notepaper...

CCC might I suggest something quick and out. especially if it is in translation. There only needs to be two points to your speech:That you are happy for them and happy to be there. After that you need to maybe say something about how it was nice to get to know her parents (even if this is a lie its about her) then follow up with how you love your parents. Then best of luck to the new couple and regardless if you mean it or not say that you love your brother and raise your glass at the last point. It is soulless but I find myself more like that every day. It does make people cry though even if you cant sell it because then you cough and act emotional. Sorry if this is depressing.

[EliSnow]

My rules of thumb in giving Best Man speeches:

1) Throughout the speech, express emotion about your love, caring for the couple. Honest emotion and clear affection for the couple helps everything else. Jokes are funnier, compliments mean more, and well wishes hit harder, if you are honest, and show that you care about the two.

2) You can make fun of the groom, but not the bride. But be smart. If you're making fun of the groom, don't do so in a way that makes the bride look bad. And really you don't want to make the groom look bad either. You just want to poke some fun.

What does that mean? Nothing that parents, etc. should not hear. Nothing about former girlfriends, etc., or getting busted for drugs, sex, etc.

At my brother's wedding, the biggest laugh I got was, by referring to the Maid Of Honor's comment that her family got a new son and brother, and saying that my family got a new sister/daughter, and apologizing to the bride's family that we got the better deal. It killed. Should it have? Maybe not, but it worked.

My brother's speech at my wedding killed because he made fun of my love of Star Wars, comics, video games. Biggest laugh he got was when he said that upon meeting my now wife I talked about her more than any woman since seeing Princess Leia in Jedi.

3) The speech, if at all possible should not sound like it was memorized or read from cards, etc. Be willing to improvise. In writing the speech, choose ideas, things you want to hit, but don't do word for word speech, unless you can't do it anyway else. This allows you to improvise based upon what happens during the day, and also to have your emotion and words seem more honest and heartfelt. The honesty, emotion I talked about earlier can be crushed if the speech seems too rehearsed, or your reading from a paper.

Of course, you can write it out and memorize it, but then you have to work at it, so it doesn't sound rehearsed/memorized. My brother actually wrote his speech out, but he rehearsed it so many times, he got the flow, and didn't have to read it, but was so comfortable with it, it sounded improvised.

I don't know if that helps or not, but good luck.

[FunkyDrummer]

Thanks for the suggestions.

I really don't like the idea of writing this speech. I'm a big fan of the Jonyrotn method of speech-giving, but there's gonna be some Russians in the audience who need a translation ahead of time though I have no idea how that's gonna be worked out...

The other pain in the ass about this speech is that I really can't go for honest humor... he's six years older than me so I have pretty much a wide range of horror stories to tell about him but it can't be anything deemed "embarrassing".

I guess I'm writing this thing in the hotel room on a piece of notepaper...

Russians in the audience. Nice!

Hit 'em with Yakov...
http://i188.photobucket.com/albums/z160/skobb/Yakov20Smirnoff.jpg

[Thebazile78]

A subject I might be able to help with. I've given two best man speeches, fairly successfully, if I do say so myself. For my brother's wedding I did a longish comic poem, but that takes a lot of work so I'll tell you about the other one. It sounds pretentious at first but trust me. Modify the Aristophanes speech from Plato's Symposium

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symposium_%28Plato%29

I'll bullet-point it for you.

Many great thinkers have pondered the nature of Love. I think the best explanation may have come from the Greek poet Aristophanes
Aristophanes tells us that humans, in their original state, used to be both man and woman. And each human used to be blissful and content.
Then the gods, to take humans down a peg, split them all in half, dividing not only the bodies but also their souls
And ever since, all human activity - dating, etc., has been all about finding our other halves, our soulmates
Two incomplete souls finding each other, becoming whole, becoming one
Ladies and Gentlemen, we have the honor of witnessing such a happy event today


Customize as necessary.

Now, admittedly, this may be a bit much, especially if the happy couple is getting married only because the guy forgot to pull out. But if you're able to pull this off, you just might be able to get yourself one of those bridesmaid in a closet stories that everybody likes at the bar for years afterwards. :wink:

The Aristophanes bit is my favorite song (http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/h/hedwigandtheangryinch10563/theoriginoflove340393.html) from Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Thanks for all the suggestions guys, they were much appreciated. The whole thing went off great. I wrote my speech about 12 hours before the event, rewrote it 4 hours before. The audience loved it. I followed a little bit of everyone's advice, so again, thanks very much.

[KingGeno]

Couldn't find much on search for best man speeches.

I was asked to be my buddies Best Man for his wedding. I know I have to give a speech.

I was looking for some advice on what the length should be, what kind of things i should bring up, etc. This is my first time, and won't be my last. I am the king of friends.

TIA. :thumbup:

[EliSnow]

Never mind.

[KingGeno]

Thanks Eli. Who knew the search couldn't search "best man" or best+man or the like.......

[drjoek]

Here's to honor
And once you get on her don't ever get off!


You can use it.

[weekapaugjz]

I gave one last year for my brothers wedding and it seemed everyone enjoyed it. My best advice is to keep it short and sweet. Nobody likes to here a rambling idiot going on and on. I talked about how excited they both were when they met each other and how that excitement never went away.

And DO NOT read it off a card!

[Ritalin]

Listen, whatever you do, the first thing you should say something like this:

"I've got some things I want to say about the happy couple, but first, I've got to tell you, I look around this room and everybody looks fantastic."

My friend, the room is now in the palm of your hand. You get over your nervousness, everybody gets a nice laugh AND they all feel good about themselves.

[Meve]

My brother is getting married on Saturday and I'm the best man. I have to give a speech/toast and I'm pretty lost on what I'm suppose to say. I'm a really terrible public speaker and I've never talked in front of so many people before. If anyone has givin' a best man speech before could you please leave some comments that might help me out. What are you suppose to talk about?

[epo]

Try this thread. (http://www.ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=71567&highlight=speech)

[IMSlacker]

Mostly you just talk about how great your new sister in law is and how glad you are thst she's part of the family. But say it in a way that doesn't seem creepy.

[dino_electropolis]

I was best man at my bros wedding. My speech was kinda long but that's cause I tend to get long winded.
Of course each situation is different. I would say how lucky ur bro is to have his wife,but also how lucky she is to have him. Talk about always wanting to have a sister (if applicable)
Then get into some pointers about how a marriage needs consideration, cooperation and sense of humour.

If ur not a great public speaker, and have slot to say, put ur speech on index cards.

[Meve]

My brother is 5yrs older than me. We live sorta seperate lives with seperate friends. I don't have many funny stories to tell. I also have a terrible memory so I definitely need note cards. On top of that I'm really not a public speaker or even a social person. Talking in front of a small group of people is hard enough, talking in front of over 150 people is going to be a nightmare. I need to write up something tonight in order to really try to memorize some talking points.