"Can I get your professional opinion?"

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

Who here gets that question? A lot. And is very tired of it?

I've worked in publishing (more off than on) since 1989. I've been a copy editor, a manuscript editor, a sr. production editor, and a proofreader.

It usually starts off casual:

"Oh, you're in publishing. Do you like it?"

Me: "I suppose. It pays the bills."

"What exactly do you do?"

Me: Describing whatever it is that I'm doing at the moment as a job::

"OH!!!! Can you help me get published?"

"Can you read my [3--400 page] manuscript and tell me what you think?" (Then they balk when I give them a fee for my time.)

"Do you have friends in publishing that can help me?"



I may sound like a bitch but I get tired of it. FOR THE RECORD-- I was low man on the publishing totem pole. I cannot help you. I can offer advice (look up your favorite English teacher for commentary. BEWARE of editing services. AND ESPECIALLY be wary of people who represent themselves as Literary Agents (NEVER give money to them upfront!).

That's all I have. No more advice.

[EliSnow]

As a lawyer, I get it every now and then. My usual advice is to go see a lawyer and discuss it. Since my entire career has been spent with a law firm serving corporate clients or now with a company, I really can't give my professional opinion out that much.

But I know who has it much, much worse: doctors. My brother is a doctor (general practioner), and anyone who has any medical question whatsoever bothers him for questions. Family gatherings (usually the extended family -- cousins, aunts, uncles) pester him a lot with questions. Then you have my mother who asks my brother medical questions, but, because he is her son, doesn't believe he knows what he is talking about.

[bobstevens4]

I am a pest control technician in coastal Georgia and I get that question quite often. It always seems to happen while I am eating lunch.

[Bob Impact]

What do you do for a living?
I'm a Sourcing Project Manager
What's that?

*quick rundown of negotiations, lean process improvement and application development*

So, you work with computers?
Well, I handle application development yes.
Can you fix my computer? It won't start.
facepalm

[DarkHippie]

Who here gets that question? A lot. And is very tired of it?

I've worked in publishing (more off than on) since 1989. I've been a copy editor, a manuscript editor, a sr. production editor, and a proofreader.

It usually starts off casual:

"Oh, you're in publishing. Do you like it?"

Me: "I suppose. It pays the bills."

"What exactly do you do?"

Me: Describing whatever it is that I'm doing at the moment as a job::

"OH!!!! Can you help me get published?"

"Can you read my [3--400 page] manuscript and tell me what you think?" (Then they balk when I give them a fee for my time.)

"Do you have friends in publishing that can help me?"



I may sound like a bitch but I get tired of it. FOR THE RECORD-- I was low man on the publishing totem pole. I cannot help you. I can offer advice (look up your favorite English teacher for commentary. BEWARE of editing services. AND ESPECIALLY be wary of people who represent themselves as Literary Agents (NEVER give money to them upfront!).

That's all I have. No more advice.

Back when I had a half decent writing career, people used to ask me for advice on getting published. I usually would tell them to check the Writer's Market for magazines that suit you. Now I tell them to go fuck themselves, and quit rubbing in my failures

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

One of my best friends is in IT and I know better than to ask him a question!

IT MUST GET IT THE WORST!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Bob Impact]

One of my best friends is in IT and I know better than to ask him a question!

IT MUST GET IT THE WORST!!!!!!!!!!!!

Considering my answer to the weekly question "Hey Bob my computer makes noises and shuts off sometimes" is always "Call IT" I would imagine yeah.

Back when I was in sales it was brutal too, 30 minute conversations IN STORE with friends who then say they're getting it on eBay. Hey, you realize i get PAID COMMISSION for this right?

[Sinestro]

That's why I don't tell people what I do. I ain't giving out free therapy session for nothing or help people solve their problems. If I'm at a party or function I'm there to have fun and relax, NOT work.

[Tenbatsuzen]

This is why I'm glad I work in marketing.

What really pisses me off is clients who think they know how to do my job better than I do.

Part of my job is direct mail, and I know that the biggest battle of direct mail is getting someone to open the envelope. And these fucks want mailings to look like typical spam with big warnings on the front of the envelope and shit.

Morons.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

Back when I had a half decent writing career, people used to ask me for advice on getting published. I usually would tell them to check the Writer's Market for magazines that suit you. Now I tell them to go fuck themselves, and quit rubbing in my failures

I apologize if I re-buffed you.

I had no answers so I tried to give you money.

[drjoek]

As a dental professional I get it all the time. Plus I have to tolerate the constant barrage of complaints about how expensive dental work is. Like its my fault they have bad teeth.

I love the guy who comes in and barely makes his $50/month contracted fee for Ortho and says hes paying for my new pool or my new car. Yeah thats it buddy that check you bounce to me is really putting me over the top.

[DarkHippie]

I apologize if I re-buffed you.

I had no answers so I tried to give you money.

Oh no, not like that. I mean little college students who are so bright with hope for the future. I also use the 'writer' line on them to get laid.

I am a bad person.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

Oh no, not like that. I mean little college students who are so bright with hope for the future. I also use the 'writer' line on them to get laid.

I am a bad person.

Nah, just a perv.

More power to you buddy.

For some reason, I never got laid using the "writer" line on any guy. If anything, I got invited up to play chess.

I hate double standards.

[Foster]

Co-workers and customers are always coming to my desk or calling me, asking for my help or option. I'm like "HEY! I try trying to post here!"
The nerve of some people.

[Tall_James]

What do you do for a living?
I'm a Sourcing Project Manager
What's that?

*quick rundown of negotiations, lean process improvement and application development*



That's when my eyes glazed over and I started talking to Sarah.

[drjoek]

It could be worse I could be selling thongs to underage girls like patsopinion.

[ralphbxny]

I work for an Insurance actuarial firm and I get the so whats the best company all the time. I hate people!! Its like asking a guy who works in an autoplant which is the best car to sell.

[SP1!]

I get every question about computers since our bosses decided to make their cars rolling ads, I one had a guy follow me to a liquor store to ask my opinion on why his printer wasn't working.

Like anyone that works on computers can just snap their fingers and make it work, "get the fuck away from me you morons......."

[PapaBear]

I'm not a photographer by profession, but I always got people asking me to shoot their weddings. I only did it twice. They have no idea how much wedding photography sucks for someone who didn't choose it as a career.

[joethebartender]

It's terrible...phone calls at all hours of the night; "Joe, what's in a scotch and soda?" or "What red do you like with roast duck?"

I think the best/worst was when this couple (acquaintances, on a first name basis w/me, that I used to see at a dinner spot I go to) told me about a party that they were having at their gigantic house in Alpine, NJ...

I was like "Oh, great, I'd love to join you." Then the guy says "yeah, uh, just make us a list of what you need and we'll stock the outside bar for you.":huh:
I felt like Danny Noonan...
http://www.adpulp.com/archives/caddy103.JPG

The funny thing was that after I laughed at him and made a few "dance, monkey, dance! jokes"; I took the job. I made about $700 that night (400 from them and 300 from their friends' tips). And this "handsome gal" from the catering company kept bringing me hors d' oeuvres all night. I did 3 more parties for them until their divorce.

[midwestjeff]

I drive a forklift.

No one cares what I think.

[PapaBear]

I drive a forklift.

No one cares what I think.
Can I get your opinion on a good neck pain remedy, for when you have to constantly look over your shoulder, because you drive backwards a lot?

BTW... Would driving a forklift in a spoon factory be considered ironic?

[El Mudo]

Thats why I kinda like working in a job where no one knows exactly what I do...


*What's your job?*

*I'm an Archives Technician for the National Archives and Records Administration...*

*oh.............kay.....*


Its kinda cool cause it makes me sound wayyy more important than I actually am, and I can always get people with the whole "I work for the Government of the United States of America" thing.

On a side note, I LOVE the Department of Agriculture...their building on 12th and Independence RULES

It was kinda ironic I guess that when I was working in history, it hurt my love for history. The point is, I love the subject, but I don't want to do it for 8 hours a day, and then go home and read about it more

[yojimbo7248]

I can always get people with the whole "I work for the Government of the United States of America" thing.



Saying "I work for the government" and then leaving it there can be a lot of fun. People, at least in the D.C. area, assume they can't ask anymore because your job is classified.

[Chip196]

I am an IT manager and it is pretty bad outside of here. I got to the point where I say to people "Corporate computers are so different from home computers, it would be like going to a Podiatrist for a Toothache, you should probably go to Geek Squad".

I was also suprised how much my wife gets bothered. She's a Kindergarten teacher and everyone who has a little kid in the early years of school ask my wife about everything their teacher is doing. Although I think my wife loves talking about it.

[A.J.]

If a foreigner asks me for my professional opinion, I have to report it to security.

[Hottub]

A.J.,
I'm looking to buy a new destroyer. Do you have any recommendations?
:blink:

[britneypablo]

im a high school history teacher...i cant tell you how many times ive had people ask me if i can tutor their elementry school level retarded children....i always say no i dont really know anything about that...but really i know retarded children wont hit on me and help raise my self esteem which is why people become high school teachers in the first place...these parents need to stop trying to waste my time :wallbash:

[A.J.]

A.J.,
I'm looking to buy a new destroyer. Do you have any recommendations?
:blink:

Ask Switzerland.

[BinaryBimbo]

Nah, just a perv.

More power to you buddy.

For some reason, I never got laid using the "writer" line on any guy. If anything, I got invited up to play chess.

I hate double standards.

I said chest.

[Freitag]

Ask Switzerland.

Starving. Got any chocolate?

[DarkHippie]

im a high school history teacher...i cant tell you how many times ive had people ask me if i can tutor their elementry school level retarded children....i always say no i dont really know anything about that...but really i know retarded children wont hit on me and help raise my self esteem which is why people become high school teachers in the first place...these parents need to stop trying to waste my time :wallbash:

Really? my retarded students hit on me all the time.

[LaBoob]

Who here gets that question? A lot. And is very tired of it?

I've worked in publishing (more off than on) since 1989. I've been a copy editor, a manuscript editor, a sr. production editor, and a proofreader.

It usually starts off casual:

"Oh, you're in publishing. Do you like it?"

Me: "I suppose. It pays the bills."

"What exactly do you do?"

Me: Describing whatever it is that I'm doing at the moment as a job::

"OH!!!! Can you help me get published?"

"Can you read my [3--400 page] manuscript and tell me what you think?" (Then they balk when I give them a fee for my time.)

"Do you have friends in publishing that can help me?"



I may sound like a bitch but I get tired of it. FOR THE RECORD-- I was low man on the publishing totem pole. I cannot help you. I can offer advice (look up your favorite English teacher for commentary. BEWARE of editing services. AND ESPECIALLY be wary of people who represent themselves as Literary Agents (NEVER give money to them upfront!).

That's all I have. No more advice.

Yikes... I'm hoping this is a coincidence that you're posting this very shortly after I asked you what your job was like??? :ohmy:

I work in vitamin sales but usually tell people I work in sales because I don't wanna get into people asking me questions about what they should take for whatever ailment. I had a gas station attendant who saw the vitamins in the back of my car once and every time I went back there he'd ask me what he could take for energy, low sex drive, weight loss... I haven't gone back there since and it's the only gas station in town.

It's not people asking me about my job that bothers me, it's WHO is asking me about my job, and whether I feel like talking to them in the first place, or just whether I feel like opening up about that. Depending on who's asking me, it might be a friend, it might be an interesting person I just met, but sometimes I'm happy to share what I know and happy to get people involved in the industry I've spent 10+ years in.

[A.J.]

Really? my retarded students hit on me all the time.

Literally (http://www.ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=55000&highlight=retard).

[hunnerbun]

I am a Hairstylist and this shit happens to me all the time. Especially if I am out in a bar and someone knows what I do, then you get all these drunk chicks saying, "What do you think I should do with my hair?" What I really want to say is something along the lines of "At this particular moment I think a buzz cut would look great." but I usually just end up handing them a business card and telling them to come see me. They very rarely take me up on my offer and it usually shuts them up.
Another favorite is when ppl ask me what product be it color or styling product, they should buy from the drug store or WalMart....ummm Hello...I sell product and I do hair color for a living, why the hell would i tell you how to do it yourself at home...asses.

[El Mudo]

Saying "I work for the government" and then leaving it there can be a lot of fun. People, at least in the D.C. area, assume they can't ask anymore because your job is classified.


Bingo. Also, I kinda live near the NSA on Route 32 (Fort Meade) so i got that going for me

[mendyweiss]

So Charles Manson Asks Me, " Is It Hot In Here, Or Am I Crazy" ?

[MobCounty]

"..Can U drawl me a picture?.."

Yeah, for 5 grand.

"..."

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

Bingo. Also, I kinda live near the NSA on Route 32 (Fort Meade) so i got that going for me


My ex-husband grew up in a suburb of B'more. EVERYBODY in his neighborhood "worked for the government" and that was a good enough answer. In the 80s it ws much more hush hush.

His dad worked for the NSA. The guy across the street worked for the Secret Service, etc. Certain things got a bit more "relaxed" after the Cold War ended.

[Don Stugots]

Yes I am in Construction.

No, I do not have a no show job

No, my mob buddies didn't hook me up

No, I am not handed envelopes of money for winning bids

No, I do not want to renovate your basement for free.

[MobCounty]

No, I do not want to renovate your basement for free.

No, seriously.. it will only take one day maaaaybe an hour the next day. I will totally buy the beer and pizza.. After we are done, we can just hang out in the new basement for free!!

[midwestjeff]

Yes I am in Construction.

No, I do not have a no show job

No, my mob buddies didn't hook me up

No, I am not handed envelopes of money for winning bids

No, I do not want to renovate your basement for free.

Do I need to make a form for a nice pair of concrete shoes, or is a five gallon bucket good enough?

[Don Stugots]

Do I need to make a form for a nice pair of concrete shoes, or is a five gallon bucket good enough?

two buckets would be better. just be sure your let the concrete set long enough.

[Bob Impact]

That's when my eyes glazed over and I started talking to Sarah.

That would be funnier if it hadn't actually happened. :glurps:

[Ritalin]

I'm not a photographer by profession, but I always got people asking me to shoot their weddings. I only did it twice. They have no idea how much wedding photography sucks for someone who didn't choose it as a career.

My standard answer is "I'm bringing my camera and I'll shoot what I want and you can have everything I shoot." And I like doing that. But shooting the aunts, uncles and cousins?

I'll be in the bar.

[britneypablo]

Yes I am in Construction.

No, I do not have a no show job

No, my mob buddies didn't hook me up

No, I am not handed envelopes of money for winning bids

No, I do not want to renovate your basement for free.

the great thing about my town is there is always construction going on....the great thing about that is that alot of the workers are very attractive....especially all sweaty and tan (i think men are sexiest when they are sweating)

do you think you can come work on the road out here and sweat and when i drive by wave at me....that sorta thing usually makes my day...week....life...etc. (professionally of course)

[Don Stugots]

the great thing about my town is there is always construction going on....the great thing about that is that alot of the workers are very attractive....especially all sweaty and tan (i think men are sexiest when they are sweating)

do you think you can come work on the road out here and sweat and when i drive by wave at me....that sorta thing usually makes my day...week....life...etc. (professionally of course)


Next time I am in your neck of the woods, I will arrange for this to happen. Pity, I was just there two weekends ago.

[BinaryBimbo]

Yes I am in Construction.

No, I do not have a no show job

No, my mob buddies didn't hook me up

No, I am not handed envelopes of money for winning bids

No, I do not want to renovate your basement for free.

Not sure why but this reminded me of when I was younger working as a drywall taper we would go to lunch with gobs of white crap on us and people always would ask what we do. Our standard response was 'pigieon tender', and sometimes 'brain surgeon':wink:.

[Jennitalia]

i get this all the time, mostly from middle aged-rich-uppity chicks who come in for a massage because they're "so stressed." i barely touch them and they right away ask, "arent i tense? can you feel any knots?" or sometimes, when i come across a knot they'll ask what it is, how'd it get there, what can they do, is it really bad? i'd love to reply it means they're going to die, but that may come across as being mean and unprofessional.

[SP1!]

Ugggggggggh Irony, I had this girl ask me today if I could look at her laptop simply because the van had computer stickers on the side so being nice I look at it, half the fucking keys were missing and she could get her display to tool bar to stay up. Yeah its the computers problems not your 5 little fucking welfare kids who dropped it........

[ralphbxny]

Yikes... I'm hoping this is a coincidence that you're posting this very shortly after I asked you what your job was like??? :ohmy:

I work in vitamin sales but usually tell people I work in sales because I don't wanna get into people asking me questions about what they should take for whatever ailment. I had a gas station attendant who saw the vitamins in the back of my car once and every time I went back there he'd ask me what he could take for energy, low sex drive, weight loss... I haven't gone back there since and it's the only gas station in town.

It's not people asking me about my job that bothers me, it's WHO is asking me about my job, and whether I feel like talking to them in the first place, or just whether I feel like opening up about that. "]Depending on who's asking me, it might be a friend, it might be an interesting person I just met, but sometimes I'm happy to share what I know and happy to get people involved in the industry I've spent 10+ years in.[/COLOR]
I need something to help me with energy...trying to quit coffee.

Yes I am in Construction.

No, I do not have a no show job

No, my mob buddies didn't hook me up

No, I am not handed envelopes of money for winning bids

No, I do not want to renovate your basement for free.

Bullshit!! I grew up here in NYC I know how that works!!

I am a Hairstylist and this shit happens to me all the time. Especially if I am out in a bar and someone knows what I do, then you get all these drunk chicks saying, "What do you think I should do with my hair?" What I really want to say is something along the lines of "At this particular moment I think a buzz cut would look great." but I usually just end up handing them a business card and telling them to come see me. They very rarely take me up on my offer and it usually shuts them up.
Another favorite is when ppl ask me what product be it color or styling product, they should buy from the drug store or WalMart....ummm Hello...I sell product and I do hair color for a living, why the hell would i tell you how to do it yourself at home...asses.

I am losing my hair when should I start with the comb over?

[hunnerbun]

I am losing my hair when should I start with the comb over?


If you have a combover YOU ARE DEAD TO ME!!!!!
Who the hell do these people think they are fooling?

[CofyCrakCocaine]

I just tell 'em I'm the president of the men's club- and am a client myself.

[A.J.]

If you have a combover YOU ARE DEAD TO ME!!!!!
Who the hell do these people think they are fooling?

Us into voting for them.

http://www.nydailynews.com/img/2008/04/08/amd_mccain.jpg

http://www.delawareonline.com/blogs/uploaded_images/biden-728418.jpg

[IamFogHat]

People are always asking me to psychoanalyze them, as though it's some magical, immediate happening. Why do we do that with people? We all know how hard our jobs are, why do we assume people can apply their skills to a given situation like the snap of a finger?

[hunnerbun]

Us into voting for them.
http://www.delawareonline.com/blogs/uploaded_images/biden-728418.jpg

Who the hell is this guy? That looks like a hair transplant gone seriously wrong! :ohmy: :laugh:

[A.J.]

Who the hell is this guy? That looks like a hair transplant gone seriously wrong! :ohmy: :laugh:

That's Democratic Vice Presidential Candidate Senator Joe Biden.

[hunnerbun]

Looks like US politicians don't have a lock on the combover...LOL
How about the comb forward and swirl back...heehee
Former PM Jean Chretien...
http://www.president.ualberta.ca/images/ott_chretien_j_300dpi.jpg

[Thebazile78]

i get this all the time, mostly from middle aged-rich-uppity chicks who come in for a massage because they're "so stressed." i barely touch them and they right away ask, "arent i tense? can you feel any knots?" or sometimes, when i come across a knot they'll ask what it is, how'd it get there, what can they do, is it really bad? i'd love to reply it means they're going to die, but that may come across as being mean and unprofessional.

So you can't just tell them it's cancer ....?

Too bad. It'd be a lot of fun to fuck with cunts like that. And since they're rich, you know they have insurance so it's not like it's costing them anything.

[TheGameHHH]

im a high school history teacher...i cant tell you how many times ive had people ask me if i can tutor their elementry school level retarded children....i always say no i dont really know anything about that...but really i know retarded children wont hit on me and help raise my self esteem which is why people become high school teachers in the first place...these parents need to stop trying to waste my time :wallbash:

you're a high school teacher? really? this whole time i had u pegged as a high school student. weird

[mendyweiss]

Mrs. Mendy Is A Lawyer Who Hasn't Practiced Law In Fifteen Years !.
People Ask Her Legal Questions Like She's Fuckin Clarence Darrow !!!

[whiskyriver]

I'm a truck driver so the only questions I get asked are for directions.

[IamFogHat]

I'm a truck driver so the only questions I get asked are for directions.

Meh, meh. Thanks Pat.

[Jughead]

I drive a forklift.

No one cares what I think.

Try being a car salesman from a Rock Band.....Someone on here that I really respect said "Hang in there Jug it takes all kinds to make a community"....:smile:..So I do...I like Alice ....:wub: