Judge Smails
09-04-2008, 09:40 PM
I was watching the football game earlier and I felt a bit peckish. So I went to the fridge and grabbed a BIG bowl of cherries that was in there. And I mean it was big. It was like 3-4 pounds of cherries. Now, I really had no intention of eating the whole thing but you know how these things go. So, by the end of the game the bowl is empty and I'm getting gassy.
I have never in my life eaten so many cherries in one sitting and I had no idea that they would have this kind of effect on me, but Holy Christ I have the absolute worst gas ever. These are loud, booming, machine gun farts that come every 30 seconds and last for five seconds at a clip. I actually had to rewind my DVR several times because I couldn't hear the t.v. over the sound of my own flatulence. My stomach is so bloated and uncomfortable that I look like some Biafran kid whose belly is all swollen after eating a big bowl of cherries or something.
Sweet Jesus, I can't stop farting! I tried going to the bathroom but very little is coming out. It's mostly more farts that boom and echo off the porcelain bowl like the space shuttle's coming in for a landing. I'm afraid to go to sleep (if I could even fall asleep) for fear that I might shart myself in bed. I'm seriously considering going out to Wawa in the middle of the night to get some Beano or something. Does an yone know any home remedies to alleviate gas?
On the positive side - the farts don't smell bad. In fact, there is a light fruity smell wafting through my den at the moment.
I have never in my life eaten so many cherries in one sitting and I had no idea that they would have this kind of effect on me, but Holy Christ I have the absolute worst gas ever. These are loud, booming, machine gun farts that come every 30 seconds and last for five seconds at a clip. I actually had to rewind my DVR several times because I couldn't hear the t.v. over the sound of my own flatulence. My stomach is so bloated and uncomfortable that I look like some Biafran kid whose belly is all swollen after eating a big bowl of cherries or something.
Sweet Jesus, I can't stop farting! I tried going to the bathroom but very little is coming out. It's mostly more farts that boom and echo off the porcelain bowl like the space shuttle's coming in for a landing. I'm afraid to go to sleep (if I could even fall asleep) for fear that I might shart myself in bed. I'm seriously considering going out to Wawa in the middle of the night to get some Beano or something. Does an yone know any home remedies to alleviate gas?
On the positive side - the farts don't smell bad. In fact, there is a light fruity smell wafting through my den at the moment.