Today I experienced lawyer bullshit at its finest

[PanterA]

Well about a month back I was served a subpoena to appear in court today November 24th. A friend of mine is going through a law suit and I'm a witness to the case. Well this morning I struggled to get out of bed early since the past 2 weeks I havent been sleeping well because I have 3 torn ligaments in my shoulder, but thats another long post for another time. Anyway, I'm running late...so I call the lawyer whos name and number are on the subpoena to tell him I'm going to be about 30 minutes late. So I get this guy on the phone and he has NO FUCKING CLUE that he was supposed to be in court today. He NEVER set up the date at all. At this point I was already in Brooklyn waiting in traffic. He tells me to wait for him to get to the court so he can get my deposition on the case. I told him to go fuck himself.

It turned out that this fucking scum is actually the defending attorney and sent me a fake subpoena to get me to meet up with him to try to get my deposition.

How is this even legal? This guy wasted my time, gas, and frustration for dealing with morning traffic on the fucking BQE. If I didnt show up to this subpoena I would be arrested...but this guy can do shit like this? Thats just bullshit!

Fuck lawyers

[patsopinion]

did you hear a baby crying in the background?

[led37zep]

Isn't all Lawyer shit Bullshit?


Sorry mikeyboy.

[Contra]

Wait wait wait, wait. If the subpoena was fake, could you really be arrested for not showing up? Also if the subpoena was fake isn't that forgery?

[jauble]

I no longer :flush: work for lawyers as of yesterday so f em.





on a side note anyone needing a smartass hayseed in the midwest please pm me, also I cook.

[Gvac]

What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.



How does an attorney sleep?
First he lies on one side, and then on the other.



"You seem to be in some distress," said the kindly judge to the witness. "Is anything the matter?"
"Well, your Honor," said the witness, "I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects."



The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity."

The lawyer thought for a moment. "What's the catch?" he asked.







I got a million of 'em!

[TheGameHHH]

http://yarg.org/img/bobloblaw.jpg

[Aggie]

HA, I love that character Brett!

I don't know if that's legal or not. It sure doesn't sound like it, however they do know their loopholes.

Something similar happened to me when a friend of mine had a warrant out. These damn bounty hunters started following me around and actually called my house saying that they were the cops with a SWAT team and knew he was in there. I was terrified and called my boyfriend but luckily they knew they were just trying to scare me into letting them in my house. I called the cops on them and let the cop look in my house and that was the end of that.

[~Katja~]

I am curious what this "subpoena" stated that made you believe it was legit?
It had an actual court date, court room and judge's name on it?


It definitely sounds like a frustrating day.

[EliSnow]

N/M

[~Katja~]

You don't need a court date, court room or judge's name on a subpoena.

ok, but he says he was subpoenaed to APPEAR IN COURT.
I would assume it would include such information so he knew he had to be there TODAY.

[HBox]

N/M

You're one of them!

ONE OF THEM! ONE OF THEM! ONE OF THEM!

[Don Stugots]

N/M

You're one of them!

ONE OF THEM! ONE OF THEM! ONE OF THEM!

Counsel pleads the 5th.

[skyscraper]

What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.



How does an attorney sleep?
First he lies on one side, and then on the other.



"You seem to be in some distress," said the kindly judge to the witness. "Is anything the matter?"
"Well, your Honor," said the witness, "I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects."



The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity."

The lawyer thought for a moment. "What's the catch?" he asked.







I got a million of 'em!

I'll pile on, even though my father is a lawyer and hates lawyer jokes:
Q: You're trapped in a room with a grizzly bear, a lion, and a lawyer. you have a gun and 2 bullets. what do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.

An inventor calls a lawyer to represent him in his patent application. the inventor says "my invention will most likely cause property damage, memory loss, impotence, rashes that won't go away, blindness, deafness, and baldness. will you defend me?
The lawyer responds "No; it sounds like I can make more money by suing you."

[~Katja~]

I'll pile on, even though my father is a lawyer and hates lawyer jokes:
Q: You're trapped in a room with a grizzly bear, a lion, and a lawyer. you have a gun and 2 bullets. what do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.

An inventor calls a lawyer to represent him in his patent application. the inventor says "my invention will most likely cause property damage, memory loss, impotence, rashes that won't go away, blindness, deafness, and baldness. will you defend me?
The lawyer responds "No; it sounds like I can make more money by suing you."

Thanksgiving dinner will be a blast!

[skyscraper]

Thanksgiving dinner will be a blast!

are you gonna tell on me?

[EliSnow]

are you gonna tell on me?

I've already reported you and Gvac to the lawyers' cabal for telling lawyer jokes. Each of you will be dealt with.

[~Katja~]

are you gonna tell on me?

I am sure you won't be able to show restraint and slip snarky comments here and there when the gravy is passed.

[skyscraper]

I've already reported you and Gvac to the lawyers' cabal for telling lawyer jokes. Each of you will be dealt with.

lawyers tell the most vicious lawyer jokes of all (except my dad.)

[EliSnow]

lawyers tell the most vicious lawyer jokes of all (except my dad.)

Of course we do. We just don't let others tell them.

[Aggie]

lawyers tell the most vicious lawyer jokes of all (except my dad.)

My mother, father and step-father are all lawyers. Welcome to my world.

[skyscraper]

I am sure you won't be able to show restraint and slip snarky comments here and there when the gravy is passed.

I'm hurt. :glurps:

[Freitag]

wait til I get home

[SouthSideJohnny]

Well this morning I struggled to get out of bed early since the past 2 weeks I havent been sleeping well because I have 3 torn ligaments in my shoulder, but thats another long post for another time.

You should have asked him if you have a case due to your injured shoulder.

[Yuppie_Scum]

I'm confused, because depositions are not done in the presence of a judge and almost never done at a courthouse. They are almost always done at one of the lawyer's offices. If it was a deposition, the other side's atty must be present. A subpeona would only be issued to compel a witness to come to a depo as an absolute last resort -- when the depo takes place is worked out among the lawyers and the witness informally, and rescheduling is very common. Involving the judge in scheduling a depo is considered poor form and is very likely to piss the judge off.

The defense attorney is within his rights to try to meet with you and get your story, most likely to box you in so that you couldn't change your story at the depo or at trial, but to send you some phoney baloney "subpoena" is probably professional misconduct.

You should tell your friend's lawyer what happened and send him the "subpeona" or letter or whatever the other side sent.

[skyscraper]

Well about a month back I was served a subpoena to appear in court today November 24th. A friend of mine is going through a law suit and I'm a witness to the case. Well this morning I struggled to get out of bed early since the past 2 weeks I havent been sleeping well because I have 3 torn ligaments in my shoulder, but thats another long post for another time. Anyway, I'm running late...so I call the lawyer whos name and number are on the subpoena to tell him I'm going to be about 30 minutes late. So I get this guy on the phone and he has NO FUCKING CLUE that he was supposed to be in court today. He NEVER set up the date at all. At this point I was already in Brooklyn waiting in traffic. He tells me to wait for him to get to the court so he can get my deposition on the case. I told him to go fuck himself.

It turned out that this fucking scum is actually the defending attorney and sent me a fake subpoena to get me to meet up with him to try to get my deposition.

How is this even legal? This guy wasted my time, gas, and frustration for dealing with morning traffic on the fucking BQE. If I didnt show up to this subpoena I would be arrested...but this guy can do shit like this? Thats just bullshit!

Fuck lawyers

also, how did you discover that the subpoena was fake?

[PanterA]

Well I dont know it was fake but why would he subpoena me and not set up a court date? I feel its was just a ploy to get me to meet him and give him my side of the story.

And yeah I told her lawyer about it and he was pissed off. I dont know what is going to come of it but I'm just pissed off that I had to stress with time and traffic all for lawyer nonsense.