Fuck you and your worthless fucking Christmas card family update letter!!!

[Judge Smails]

Anyone else get these annoying screeds? We get like three or four every year.

I don't give two shits that your little brat started pre-school this September, or that your husband got a promotion. I can't even begin to express how little I care to hear about your trip to Florida for the annual Model T Club convention. If I cared anything about you and your fucking family I would have kept in touch with you during the year and none of this would be news to me.

I feel forced like I have to read these things in case I should bump into these people during the year and one of the topics in the letter happens to come up. FUCK YOU, you fucking self-absorbed fucks! I've got stuff that's interesting to me and my family but I wouldn't imagine anyone else wants to read about it in a Christmas card. I know the appropriate place for that: Satelite radio show fansite message boards. Now go fuck yourself and your fucking Model T.

[west milly Tom]

I also don't care about your pets or the health of your mother-in-law. Please walk off a cliff.

[Don Stugots]

hahaha. ex wife #2 had an Aunt that would do these. I would laugh and laugh at them. One time she made the mistake of asking me if I read it and I told her how arrogant she was to think that anyone wanted to know that "becky" scored two goals in field hockey.

[west milly Tom]

hahaha. ex wife #2 had an Aunt that would do these. I would laugh and laugh at them. One time she made the mistake of asking me if I read it and I told her how arrogant she was to think that anyone wanted to know that "becky" scored two goals in field hockey.

Belly laughed at this post.

[Gvac]

I've got a stack of them on my kitchen table right now.

Unopened.

Haven't made it to the recycling bin yet.

[sailor]

never received anything like these. why not tell these people you don't like them or want them in your life if it's such a hardship? if they're your family and friends, why is it so hard to give them a few minutes a year?

[DiabloSammich]

Didn't send cards this year.

If somebody is really concerned about how we're doing, they will pick up a phone and call. The rest of the family can suck a cock. Preferably one that has problems with it.

[Bossanova]

Yeah, I'm sure my parents will have one of these for me, and I will be seeing them

[DiabloSammich]

Yeah, I'm sure my parents will have one of these for me, and I will be seeing them



Unless they suffer some sort of horrific accident.

Fingers crossed!

[walking joint]

i'd rather the letters then getting one or two calls a year from these people. So I really don't mind them. I can choose not to read them if I don't want to. I'd feel bad if they left me a phone message and I didn't call them back. So I guess I'm for the update letters.

[Bossanova]

Unless they suffer some sort of horrific accident.

Fingers crossed!

haha! When I was there last week, I sliced open a wire to the lights in hopes of a spark

[DandyCandy]

haha! When I was there last week, I sliced open a wire to the lights in hopes of a spark

Pure white trash, as I had surmised.

[Aneurysm]

Pure white trash, as I had surmised.

oh this is the douche from the other night. Fuck you pal

[reillyluck]

Pure white trash, as I had surmised.

listen fake franklyn, NOBODY talks to my white trash friend like that. NO ONE.

[DandyCandy]

oh this is the douche from the other night. Fuck you pal

Oooh, a shock poster.

How original. :thumbdown:

[Bossanova]

listen fake franklyn, NOBODY talks to my white trash friend like that. NO ONE.

Hey wait! I am honored but ......................

[Aneurysm]

Oooh, a shock poster.

How original. :thumbdown:

Looking in a mirror cry baby?

[reillyluck]

Hey wait! I am honored but ......................

:laugh:

[Bossanova]

Oooh, a shock poster.

How original. :thumbdown:

So sad, you trash me in the Fandick chat and now here. I have my first official hate poster

[west milly Tom]

more fake posting. someone should suck a bag of dicks.

[Judge Smails]

never received anything like these. why not tell these people you don't like them or want them in your life if it's such a hardship? if they're your family and friends, why is it so hard to give them a few minutes a year?

OK, you and I know each other casually from this board. I assume that if you met me in person you'd be civil and say hello and not go out of your way to push me under a truck driving down the street. You'd probably talk to me because you get a chuckle from my stories about my son's jizz and fingers in my wife's asshole. Does that mean that you want to read me post about a cooking course my wife took this year, or that my son has been chosen for a leadership coucil in Washington or that my daughter has gone up four reading levels in the second grade this year?

[Bossanova]

OK, you and I know each other casually from this board. I assume that if you met me in person you'd be civil and say hello and not go out of your way to push me under a truck driving down the street. You'd probably talk to me because you get a chuckle from my stories about my son's jizz and fingers in my wife's asshole. Does that mean that you want to read me post about a cooking course my wife took this year, or that my son has been chosen for a leadership coucil in Washington or that my daughter has gone up four reading levels in the second grade this year?

Im with you sir

[reillyluck]

OK, you and I know each other casually from this board. I assume that if you met me in person you'd be civil and say hello and not go out of your way to push me under a truck driving down the street. You'd probably talk to me because you get a chuckle from my stories about my son's jizz and fingers in my wife's asshole. Does that mean that you want to read me post about a cooking course my wife took this year, or that my son has been chosen for a leadership coucil in Washington or that my daughter has gone up four reading levels in the second grade this year?

Fuck you and your worthless fucking Christmas card family update post.

[Don Stugots]

OK, you and I know each other casually from this board. I assume that if you met me in person you'd be civil and say hello and not go out of your way to push me under a truck driving down the street. You'd probably talk to me because you get a chuckle from my stories about my son's jizz and fingers in my wife's asshole. Does that mean that you want to read me post about a cooking course my wife took this year, or that my son has been chosen for a leadership coucil in Washington or that my daughter has gone up four reading levels in the second grade this year?

wow, that is impressive. can you write that on a piece of paper and send it to me in the mail?

[DandyCandy]

more fake posting. someone should suck a bag of dicks.

Heres a fake post. I will skull fuck you if you speak to me again. Boss is scum and Aneurysm is a fuck who butted in. Now I get you, I'd say suck a bag of dicks, but im sure you have gobbled 35 dicks already faggot

[Don Stugots]

enough with the fighting guys.

[reillyluck]

Heres a fake post. I will skull fuck you if you speak to me again. Boss is scum and Aneurysm is a fuck who butted in. Now I get you, I'd say suck a bag of dicks, but im sure you have gobbled 35 dicks already faggot

easy there fako.

[disneyspy]

enough with the fighting guys.

man they were just like the xmas cards me and i my family share

[sailor]

OK, you and I know each other casually from this board. I assume that if you met me in person you'd be civil and say hello and not go out of your way to push me under a truck driving down the street. You'd probably talk to me because you get a chuckle from my stories about my son's jizz and fingers in my wife's asshole. Does that mean that you want to read me post about a cooking course my wife took this year, or that my son has been chosen for a leadership coucil in Washington or that my daughter has gone up four reading levels in the second grade this year?

yeah, it would be silly for a casual acquaintance. i assumed better friends or family.

[underdog]

Heres a fake post. I will skull fuck you if you speak to me again. Boss is scum and Aneurysm is a fuck who butted in. Now I get you, I'd say suck a bag of dicks, but im sure you have gobbled 35 dicks already faggot

This guy has moxie.

[west milly Tom]

Heres a fake post. I will skull fuck you if you speak to me again. Boss is scum and Aneurysm is a fuck who butted in. Now I get you, I'd say suck a bag of dicks, but im sure you have gobbled 35 dicks already faggot

you're a tough computer msg board poster.

I love these guys. :wallbash:

[Don Stugots]

This guy has moxie.

do you like the cut of his jib?

[Aneurysm]

you're a tough computer msg board poster.

I love these guys. :wallbash:

Yeah, he is a real hard ass

[DandyCandy]

you're a tough computer msg board poster.

I love these guys. :wallbash:

can i make it up to you by allowing you to come to my home and watch one of my crappy home movies?

[Bossanova]

can i make it up to you by allowing you to come to my home and watch one of my crappy home movies?

you really are a tough guy

[Don Stugots]

can i make it up to you by allowing you to come to my home and watch one of my crappy home movies?

what home movie? your sweet sixteen??

[west milly Tom]

what home movie? your sweet sixteen??

his debutante ball

[Tall_James]

I'm sorry that the dog I never knew you had died this year.

Thanks for holiday happiness you moron.

[DandyCandy]

what home movie? your sweet sixteen??

his debutante ball

Just some scenes we did in Brooklyn, maybe some in studio flicks. I work so hard on them

[cougarjake13]

luckily, no

[drjoek]

I have friends who send one every year that we look forward to. The chick writes it and spares no member of her family from being skewered including herself. It is absolutely hilarious. We pass it around to everyone even people who don't know them ask me to read them. One year they didn't do cards and everyone was so bummed out. Done with a sense of humor these can be great.

[A.J.]

I remember my parents used to get those from some friends and relatives of theirs. They don't talk to those friends and relatives anymore.

[sr71blackbird]

I must be pretty lucky, because I never got one of these cards. The only thing kind of close is picture cards, and I have a lesbian cousin in Massachusetts and she sends everyone pictures of her and her "friend" and their dogs, all in family poses.

[west milly Tom]

I must be pretty lucky, because I never got one of these cards. The only thing kind of close is picture cards, and I have a lesbian cousin in Massachusetts and she sends everyone pictures of her and her "friend" and their dogs, all in family poses.



Can I see that card?

[ecobag2]

This guy has moxie.

nice jib? well cut?

[ecobag2]

I don't mind the updates.

[Friday]

I never get these, but I just came home to one today from my "Aunt" Harriet... and old friend of my mom's who I have known and had a lot of close family memories with since i was a baby.

In the letter she describes her year of getting a cancer diagnosis but responding well to treatment. And then she talks about my Uncle Bill, who also had a cancer diagnosis .... seemed to respond well to treatment but then died suddenly of septic shock in July.

Because I lost touch with them after my mom's funeral this is the first I am hearing about it.

SO yeah... after crumbling into a puddle of tears... I have decided I hate Hate HATE these letters! Booooo

[Sue_Bender]

I never get these, but I just came home to one today from my "Aunt" Harriet... and old friend of my mom's who I have known and had a lot of close family memories with since i was a baby.

In the letter she describes her year of getting a cancer diagnosis but responding well to treatment. And then she talks about my Uncle Bill, who also had a cancer diagnosis .... seemed to respond well to treatment but then died suddenly of septic shock in July.

Because I lost touch with them after my mom's funeral this is the first I am hearing about it.

SO yeah... after crumbling into a puddle of tears... I have decided I hate Hate HATE these letters! Booooo


I hate to say it...


but I was expecting a "Wheeeeee!" :sad: