Three year olds love my cock

[Judge Smails]

Does shit like this happen to anyone else, or am I just living some weird pseudo-pedophiliac existence? I realize that to many here I'm just the "outrageous statements" shock poster guy and that some of you probably think I make half this shit up, but I swear to Christ this shit actually happens to me and if I'm not going to share with my faceless interweb friends then who am I gonna tell?

OK, so my son was home sick yesterday. Since it was my day off, the honor fell to me to take him to the doctor. There must be something going around because the "sick waiting room" was packed to the rafters with snotty-nosed, screaming brats. I let my son take the one available seat and I stood against the wall while I passed the time surfing my Blackberry (actually reading this very site.)

At some point, while I was reading about Gvac's love of Neti Pots, this little three year old, with boogers dripping down her nose, wanders away from the toys she was playing with and grabs my crotch. Obviously I was a bit taken aback as this very rarely happens to me. The mother gets up from her seat and just tells her to "leave the man alone" and picks her up and brings back to the toys without so much as an "I'm sorry".

Meanwhile, I was left there feeling used and violated and seriously wondering what goes on at this little girl's house that she's been conditioned to think it's OK to go up and grab some strange man's cock and balls.

[alabamatrucker]

This is pretty common with toddlers. There not aware that its not okay to sit down on your junk or tap your junk to get your attention or just rough house in that area. Its happened to me before and i always try to let them know that "it is an off limits area"


AT

[biggestmexi]

this little three year old, with boogers dripping down her nose, wanders away from the toys she was playing with and grabs my crotch.

it's OK to go up and grab some strange man's cock and balls.

Cliff Notes.

[Furtherman]

They're three.

They're about... 40 inches high?

They're constantly grabbing at things... with their hands out in front.

They're at crotch level to most people. If they're a lot of kids around, it's gonna happen by circumstance.


So no, three year olds do not love your cock. Get over yourself!!!

[King Hippos Bandaid]

if she asked for Candy Money then its not normal


kids do the darndest things

[drjoek]

Define the words VERY RARELY as it applies in this context

[PerryWinkle]

i have the similar problem, but in reverse

[Furtherman]

By the way, you're running out of room for modquotes.

[Marc with a c]

i'd of fucked it

[~Katja~]

i have the similar problem, but in reverse

did ya see the guys mod quotes? not sure who is better at that bit!

[IMSlacker]

The thread title is misleading. It says "three year olds", yet you only provided one example. I have to say, I'm not that impressed.

[Recyclerz]

It might behoove you to keep it inside your pants so that kids don't mistake it for a pull toy. :wink:

[PerryWinkle]

The thread title is misleading. It says "three year olds", yet you only provided one example. I have to say, I'm not that impressed.

so true!

maybe there is an act II to this story?

[A.J.]

Meanwhile, I was left there feeling used and violated and seriously wondering what goes on at this little girl's house that she's been conditioned to think it's OK to go up and grab some strange man's cock and balls.

Nice girl. Nice family.

[Dude!]

Its happened to me before and i always try to let them know that "it is an off limits area"

why?

[OGC]

I'll bet you were asking for it. Were you dressed seductively ?

[~Katja~]

I'll bet you were asking for it. Were you dressed seductively ?

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e242/Sketchy_McSketch/TheSpandexCrew.jpg

http://media.urbandictionary.com/image/large/mooseknuckles-23057.jpg

[Gvac]

At some point, while I was reading about Gvac's love of Neti Pots, this little three year old, with boogers dripping down her nose, wanders away from the toys she was playing with and grabs my crotch.

Neti Pots.

Is there nothing they can't do?

[FezsAssistant]

my grandmother used to babysit little kids. they liked me a lot.

one time the little guy (maybe 3 or 4?) was sitting next to me on the couch and kept pointing at my crotch and saying 'COCK COCK'!

i was like 'what the hell????'

my grandmother didn't notice the wierdness and said he was pointing at my watch and saying 'CLOCK CLOCK!'

i don't know, dudes. pretty damn wierd.

[razorboy]

With that needledick who else are you going to impress?

[Sue_Bender]

OR...


Your cock loves three year olds.


Yes. That's better.

[jauble]

Nice girl. Nice family.

she's a toddler!

[SatCam]

They're three.

They're about... 40 inches high?

They're constantly grabbing at things... with their hands out in front.

They're at crotch level to most people. If they're a lot of kids around, it's gonna happen by circumstance.


excuse me for a moment

[britneypablo]

i initially read this as i love 3 year old cock...which is why i thought we had something in common...but clearly i was wrong