Uncomfortable Conversations

[sr71blackbird]

I have a close female friend who has a bit of a temper and a confrontational nature about her. I am rather the opposite. When we are talking and the coversation starts to turn heated, I begin to get uncomfortable because I know by her nature that she will get confrontational with me. I have tried to tell her that during such conversations that my anxiely level goes through the roof, but her attitude is that it is healtier to get everything out in the open. It may very well be, but I have not developed to that point and probably never will. So I am left feeling uncomfortable and seek an escape.
Today I used my cell phone to get me out of such a conversation by making believe I got an important call and told her I would call her back. I know it was a lie. I know that it betrays the concept of friendship and that a true friend would understand, yada yada.
But things are not as black and white as it should be in my world, and it doesn't work the same way in my relationship with this woman. But that being said, how do you deal with uncomfortable conversations?

[Picasso Intern]

Either drop her as a friend or learn to argue.
How has being non-confrontational worked for you in the rest of your life?

[sr71blackbird]

Well, I do not want to lose her friendship, it is just an aspect of it that I have to learn to accept, just as odd quirks of my personality are things she has to deal with In other aspects of my life, I am able to lay the groundwork in confrontational situations. She tries to get to the heart of the matter and wont let up until it is either a full blown fight or I capitulate. Or, unless something outside ends the conversation. I am quite adept at dealing with this in most other situations. she is a good person and genuinely is trying to educate me, I just do not like dealing with certain truths.

[mikeyboy]

I have a close female friend who has a bit of a temper and a confrontational nature about her. I am rather the opposite. When we are talking and the coversation starts to turn heated, I begin to get uncomfortable because I know by her nature that she will get confrontational with me. I have tried to tell her that during such conversations that my anxiely level goes through the roof, but her attitude is that it is healtier to get everything out in the open. It may very well be, but I have not developed to that point and probably never will. So I am left feeling uncomfortable and seek an escape.
Today I used my cell phone to get me out of such a conversation by making believe I got an important call and told her I would call her back. I know it was a lie. I know that it betrays the concept of friendship and that a true friend would understand, yada yada.
But things are not as black and white as it should be in my world, and it doesn't work the same way in my relationship with this woman. But that being said, how do you deal with uncomfortable conversations?

You really need to add some new tricks to your arsenal. (http://www.ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=65959)

[sr71blackbird]

I knew that would come up! My cell is my freaking lifeline! :)

[hammersavage]

Nice sleuthing mikeyboy

[Farmer Dave]

I'm afraid anything I may offer may come off as negative. But I do have a few suggestion ranging from walk away to physical contact.

[sr71blackbird]

I am talking about what other people do when they find themselves in an uncomfortable conversation. How do you get yourself out? Do you just say you feel like changing the subject? Does that work? I have tried this with that friend, but she is stubborn and wants to talk the problems out. I do not usually have success with this. I didn't mean for this to be a complaint about my friend, I merely used that as an example.

[Picasso Intern]

Sounds like you need to learn to argue. Just how bad are you at confrontation?

[MacVittie]

I don't get people who think its better to have EVERYTHING out in the open. Some people just need to realize that some things are best left unsaid.

[sr71blackbird]

Exactly. She trys to psychoanalyze me and hopes that these arguments will lead to some "cure".

[MacVittie]

Exactly. She trys to psychoanalyze me and hopes that these arguments will lead to some "cure".

I definitely know the type. I understand the rational that sometimes things will be better if you just get them out in the open so everyone knows, but sometimes things are better left unspoken. Perhaps Fez has some friends like that who constantly try to get the secret out of him.

[Gvac]

I am talking about what other people do when they find themselves in an uncomfortable conversation. How do you get yourself out? Do you just say you feel like changing the subject? Does that work? I have tried this with that friend, but she is stubborn and wants to talk the problems out. I do not usually have success with this. I didn't mean for this to be a complaint about my friend, I merely used that as an example.

I just say "I really don't feel like talking about this right now."

If they persist, I tell them I'm ending the conversation.

It's really not any more difficult than that.

[lleeder]

I just say "I really don't feel like talking about this right now."

If they persist, I tell them I'm ending the conversation.

It's really not any more difficult than that.

I insist we finish this conversation Gvac.