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Holding in Farts [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

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sr71blackbird
04-16-2009, 04:43 PM
I have a new job in my company now in a different office. In the old office it was noise as hell and no one would hear if you cut a fart as long as it was pretty low. The new office is library quiet and I find that any time I feel a little fart coming on, I hold it in, because I am afraid it will be noisy and people will know. But I am no longer "trained" to hold these in any more and I have to run to the mens room anytime I feel it building up. I panic because I think Im gonna explode! Give me some ideas how I can mask it, and remember, its a quiet office that doesnt have any phones ringing or radios or machines, etc. Radios are not allowed.

Foster
04-16-2009, 04:44 PM
change your diet

Thomas Merton
04-16-2009, 04:49 PM
You need a chair with a lot of cushioning to absorb it

Devo37
04-16-2009, 04:49 PM
bring a duck to work.

britneypablo
04-16-2009, 04:51 PM
<font color="deeppink"> just fart why are u such a baby

WampusCrandle
04-16-2009, 07:52 PM
<font color="deeppink"> just fart why are u such a baby

exactly. lets fart til we die

drusilla
04-16-2009, 07:53 PM
beano

dino_electropolis
04-16-2009, 07:53 PM
Get a new job.

boosterp
04-16-2009, 10:57 PM
Shove a tube up your ass, the gas will just leak out without any noise.

sr71blackbird
04-17-2009, 01:00 AM
Do they make a fart noise absorbing cushion?

Yosammity
04-17-2009, 03:36 AM
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/__1OzjxCtHZI/SHoSjn0ORII/AAAAAAAACAQ/CZoZNEQA-5s/s400/Cork.jpg

Judge Smails
04-17-2009, 03:51 AM
http://<OBJECT height=296 width=512>

<embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/7qXAa2z1zXKPMw4mBakrRw" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullScreen="true"width="512" height="296"></embed></OBJECT> (http://<object width="512" height="296"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/7qXAa2z1zXKPMw4mBakrRw"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/7qXAa2z1zXKPMw4mBakrRw" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullScreen="true"width="512" height="296"></embed></object>)</P>

A.J.
04-17-2009, 03:55 AM
http://www.gas-x.com/img/box-chewables-lg.jpg

raulfd4
04-17-2009, 04:42 AM
cough

RhinoinMN
04-17-2009, 04:43 AM
When two or more of us at my work has terrible gas, we play a stupid game.

We just go into the bathroom and start farting away until there is the last man standing.

realmenhatelife
04-17-2009, 04:47 AM
Unless you worked at a noisy tire fire everyone at your old job knew you were farting.

ANC
04-17-2009, 04:48 AM
Just fire away, if anyone looks up just give a "Yeah I did it, what's it to ya?" look.

ToiletCrusher
04-17-2009, 04:55 AM
When you hold in a fart, god kills a kitten.

led37zep
04-17-2009, 04:57 AM
bring a duck to work.



Well done.

boosterp
04-17-2009, 05:30 AM
Just fire away, if anyone looks up just give a "Yeah I did it, what's it to ya?" look.

You sir should be head of HR. :clap: