Chipmunk Holocaust

[Judge Smails]

My backyard is usually teeming with chipmunks. They run hither and thither and people have even taken to feeding them pieces from hamburger buns and such. My daughter loves them and calls them by name (Alvin, Simon, et. al). My wife, who is usually terrified of rodents, has on two separate occasions taken out the pool skimmer and rescued chipmunks who accidentally fell in the pool. Now, I'm well aware that, for all intents and purposes, there's no difference between a chipmunk and other vermin except for their fluffy tails and cool racing stripes. But they're just so goddamn cute, though.

This winter we started to have a mouse problem in the garage. They would terrify my wife and daughter when they turned on the light and the mice would scatter. They begged me to do something about it. So, what I did was put some rat poison around the base of the garage doors and the edges of the driveway - problem solved.

Flash forward to this weekend when I was working in the backyard and it occured to me that it's almost June now and I have not seen nary one chipmunk all spring. Oops! :glurps:

In my defense - I was only following orders.

http://www.kindredstreetwriters.org/chipmunk.jpg

[Tallman388]

Will you come over to my house and handle the skunk problem? I'll buy the poison, you get the credit, everybody wins.

[TheMojoPin]

Alvin?

Alvin!

Alvin?

...

ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLVIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN N!!!

[weekapaugjz]

Following orders is no excuse. Have we forgotton nuremburg already?

[Furtherman]

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/57/230587109_95f68c5719_m.jpg
OH GOD I'M GONNA PUKE!!!!

[jessicaduh]

My backyard is usually teeming with chipmunks. They run hither and thither and people have even taken to feeding them pieces from hamburger buns and such. My daughter loves them and calls them by name (Alvin, Simon, et. al). My wife, who is usually terrified of rodents, has on two separate occasions taken out the pool skimmer and rescued chipmunks who accidentally fell in the pool. Now, I'm well aware that, for all intents and purposes, there's no difference between a chipmunk and other vermin except for their fluffy tails and cool racing stripes. But they're just so goddamn cute, though.

This winter we started to have a mouse problem in the garage. They would terrify my wife and daughter when they turned on the light and the mice would scatter. They begged me to do something about it. So, what I did was put some rat poison around the base of the garage doors and the edges of the driveway - problem solved.

Flash forward to this weekend when I was working in the backyard and it occured to me that it's almost June now and I have not seen nary one chipmunk all spring. Oops! :glurps:

In my defense - I was only following orders.



my attic is usually teeming with aardvarks. they rumble hither and thither and people have even taken to feeding them pieces from dead bodies and such. my uncle loves them and calls them by name (frank, leo, et al). my dog, who is usually terrified of Tubulidentata , has on two separate occasions taken out his penis and fucked aardvarks who accidentally fell down the chimney. Now, i'm well aware that, for all intents and purposes, there's no difference between and aardvark and other Chordata except their cool snout and sticky tongue. But they're just so goddamn odd, though.

This winter we started to have an illegal immigrant problem in the basement. they would terrify my wife and daughter when they turned on the light and the mexicans would scatter. they begged me to do something about it. so, what i did was put some poison tequila around the base of the basement door and edges of the stairway - problem solved.

flash forward to this weekend when i was working in the attic and it occurred to me that it's almost june now and i have not seen one aardvark all spring. Oops!
:glurps:

in my defense - i was only following lordjezo.

[~Katja~]

Holocaust... really? you have chipmunk showers for the final solution?

[weekapaugjz]

Holocaust... really? you have chipmunk showers for the final solution?

I've heard rumors of chipmunkknacht slowly making its way out of connecticut. Smails was seen pulling chipmunks out of trees and beating them into bloody lumps in the grass. He was also seen burning giant piles of reserve acorns.

Quite disturbing when you think about it.

[TheMojoPin]

This is not uprecedented:

http://jacketsandcovers.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/maus-ii.jpg

[Judge Smails]

I've heard rumors of chipmunkknacht slowly making its way out of connecticut. Smails was seen pulling chipmunks out of trees and beating them into bloody lumps in the grass. He was also seen burning giant piles of reserve acorns.

Quite disturbing when you think about it.


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[angrymissy]

It was chipmunk holocaust every spring when I lived in Westchester and my cats were outside cats. I'd see all 3 fatasses in a circle batting one around in the air until beheading it.

[SatCam]

Rat poison is for rats

[Gordon Downie]

I'll write a song about it.

[earthbrown]

chipmunks are the worst of the rodents, as they have been knwn to nibble wires and burn houses down.


K

[KC2OSO]

The old lady two houses up from us with the barn that doubles as a cat factory refuses to do anything about the cat problem she is helping along. She feeds them constantly and has no idea where these cats wind up. I tried nicely asking her to stop feeding them but I've had to call animal control two times now because I'm getting tired of peeling dead cats off the road in front of my house. Last count, there were about ten cats/kittens in the area. The other byproduct of the herd of cats is that there are no more moles, chipmunks, rabbits, frogs, or mice in the area. The ground hog and squirrels seem to be doing ok. So ends the Belle Mead, NJ critter report for May, 2009.

[ToiletCrusher]

Same story for me but replace chipmunk with child, accidentally with purposefully, and following orders with I wanted to.

[angrymissy]

The old lady two houses up from us with the barn that doubles as a cat factory refuses to do anything about the cat problem she is helping along. She feeds them constantly and has no idea where these cats wind up. I tried nicely asking her to stop feeding them but I've had to call animal control two times now because I'm getting tired of peeling dead cats off the road in front of my house. Last count, there were about ten cats/kittens in the area. The other byproduct of the herd of cats is that there are no more moles, chipmunks, rabbits, frogs, or mice in the area. The ground hog and squirrels seem to be doing ok. So ends the Belle Mead, NJ critter report for May, 2009.

Contact your local feral cat colony group and have them help you trap them, get them fixed, and release them back out. Then they won't be able to keep reproducing. I feed the ferals around here but catch them and do that.

If she just stops feeding them, they won't go away, they'll just keep reproducing.

[TheMojoPin]

Contact your local feral cat colony group and have them help you trap them, get them fixed, and release them back out. Then they won't be able to keep reproducing. I feed the ferals around here but catch them and do that.

The stories they must tell about you.

[Judge Smails]

This morning I was summoned to the den by my daughter as she was screaming "Daddy! Daddy! What's this chipmunk doing to that other chipmunk?!" Upon my arrival I was greeted by the interesting show of a chipmunk fucking the Holy Jesus out of another one, not more than two feet from the sliding glass door into our backyard. He must have been really into it too because I walked right up to the door and he only stopped pounding for a second as he looked at me out of the corner of his eye then went right back to making nasty chipmunk style sex to his partner.

It was only until about twenty seconds later that a third chipmunk came in sniffing around that they then started brawling and the girl chipmunk ran off under my deck. I just looked down at my daughter who was standing there all the while with mouth agape and eyes as wide as saucers and told her "Aw, they're just playing."

So, its safe to say that the chipmunks are back in great numbers. I started noticing a few here and there the last couple of weeks but saw quite a few this weekend. I can only assume these are a different group that must have migrated over to my yard (and maybe to my old chipmunks' dens) because they were so late in arriving this year.

[topless_mike]

making nasty chipmunk style sex to his partner.


nothing i've read in a long time has turned me on as much as this.

[~Katja~]

This morning I was summoned to the den by my daughter as she was screaming "Daddy! Daddy! What's this chipmunk doing to that other chipmunk?!" Upon my arrival I was greeted by the interesting show of a chipmunk fucking the Holy Jesus out of another one, not more than two feet from the sliding glass door into our backyard. He must have been really into it too because I walked right up to the door and he only stopped pounding for a second as he looked at me out of the corner of his eye then went right back to making nasty chipmunk style sex to his partner.

It was only until about twenty seconds later that a third chipmunk came in sniffing around that they then started brawling and the girl chipmunk ran off under my deck. I just looked down at my daughter who was standing there all the while with mouth agape and eyes as wide as saucers and told her "Aw, they're just playing."

So, its safe to say that the chipmunks are back in great numbers. I started noticing a few here and there the last couple of weeks but saw quite a few this weekend. I can only assume these are a different group that must have migrated over to my yard (and maybe to my old chipmunks' dens) because they were so late in arriving this year.

did you name him doug?

[Aggie]

did you name him doug?

:lol:

[boosterp]

Upon my arrival I was greeted by the interesting show of a chipmunk fucking the Holy Jesus out of another one... he looked at me out of the corner of his eye then went right back to making nasty chipmunk style sex to his partner.


I laughed my ass off. :lol: