The balls on my fucking church!!!

[Judge Smails]

Short history: I was raised Catholic but my family was never strict churchgoers - mostly the holiday types. I married my wife who is Episcopalian and her dad is Churchy Churchman who was the treasurer of his church and they were there every Sunday. When my wife and I moved to our current house we started attending the local Episcopal church. About two years ago they got a new minister. About one year ago one of the parishoners died and left the church $2 million.

They've been going on a spending spree since - new pews, landscaping, the minister gave himself a raise and appointed his wife to some salaried position which I don't even know.

I'm glad to say that I've turned my wife to the darkside and we are not regular churchgoers. We probably average about once a month. And during football and basketball season my son has games every Sunday morning so we are MIA Sept-Feb (except for Christmas). If it was up to me I wouldn't go at all. I only go to placate her and her feeling that the kids need some religious teaching.

So, today I get a letter from the church stating how apparently some people have not been pulling their weight in the weekly donations because they have not been attending regularly. I guess they've decided to stop sending around the collection plate and they now expect me to write them a check for $300 at the beginning of each month whether I'm there or not! Fuck them and fuck their imaginary man who lives in the sky!

[mikeyboy]

rip it up.

[hammersavage]

probably young, hairless balls

[WampusCrandle]

fuck those kid fuckers!

[hammersavage]

get those nailbreakers

[mikeyboy]

fuck those kid fuckers!

The Episcopalians don't really have those issues, maybe because they let their ministers get tail.

[MacVittie]

that is a lot of balls. why should you give them a dime if you're not using their service?

[FatassTitePants]

I was raised Catholic and left the church about 2 years ago after seeing just so much money grabbing, selective acknowledgement of the Bible, and inconsistency. Send them an I.O.U. or, better yet, a check payable only to God.

[boosterp]

And this is one of my complaints against Christianity,

[Friday]

withdraw your membership.
it's a pretty simple process.

if you didn't want to pay to use a town YMCA/pool... then you would stop being a member.

if you aren't interested in supporting the church community then stop being a member.
it's really the same as any other social/community organization.

they will remove you from their pledge list and you will be free. voila!

[Dude!]

I married my wife who is Episcopalian

at least
you married up

[jennysmurf]

And this is one of my complaints against Christianity,

That's funny, cause I've never heard of this concept of having the church tell you what to give. What you give is between you and God. You can give when the plate comes around or not, it's no one's business. Learned something new....

[silks]

rip it up.

and mail it back to them.

[TripleSkeet]

That's funny, cause I've never heard of this concept of having the church tell you what to give. What you give is between you and God. You can give when the plate comes around or not, it's no one's business. Learned something new....

Really? We get letters explaining that they expect 10% of our earnings. I fucking laugh. I dont even go, my wife does, but I dont think she gives more then $5 a week. We have to give something just so we can have ours kids christened and recieve their sacraments.

The money pandering is a fucking joke though. The church was always supposed to be about "whatever you can give", now these motherfuckers write the amount they want on the envelope. I wised up to their act looooong ago.

[Judge Smails]

That's funny, cause I've never heard of this concept of having the church tell you what to give. What you give is between you and God. You can give when the plate comes around or not, it's no one's business. Learned something new....

It started with little numbered envelopes. At the beginning of the year we get a packet of envelopes. There's one for each week of the year, then there are ones for special holiday services, one for flowers and some for other misc. churchy type items needed. The envelopes are coded so they keep track of how much everyone gives. Every quarter they mail me a statement with a breakdown of how much I've given. Now, obviously I know exactly how much I've given. The only reason for the statement, I feel, is to remind people (ie: shame them) that they are keeping track of the giving.

My wife started to feel guilty (as I'm sure was their intention) and started to give a little extra to make up for the weeks we missed. I told her to throw out the fucking envelopes, stop using checks and just throw cash in the plate so they have no clue what we're up to. Now this fucking letter comes and I think even she's reached her limit with these fucks. I guess we'll be shopping around for a new church.

Again - I'd just assume not to go at all. But we made a decision when we were married that we would give the kids a spiritual grounding at least until they were old enough to decide for themselves. My son is 11 and he's already starting to question what they teach him in Sunday School (the few times he's there).

I guess they must look at us as bad Christians because we're not there that often. But no one has ever made any attempt to befriend us to a point of speaking honestly about the need to be better churchgoers. Instead they went out of their way to send an awkward letter telling us to be better donators.

[FatassTitePants]

Really? We get letters explaining that they expect 10% of our earnings. I fucking laugh. I dont even go, my wife does, but I dont think she gives more then $5 a week. We have to give something just so we can have ours kids christened and recieve their sacraments.

The money pandering is a fucking joke though. The church was always supposed to be about "whatever you can give", now these motherfuckers write the amount they want on the envelope. I wised up to their act looooong ago.

So you make $50 a week. Braggarts!
You sound like you have the money of a guy who would have 2 radio shows.

[CruelCircus]

The envelopes are coded so they keep track of how much everyone gives. Every quarter they mail me a statement with a breakdown of how much I've given. Now, obviously I know exactly how much I've given. The only reason for the statement, I feel, is to remind people (ie: shame them) that they are keeping track of the giving.

Actually, they do it for the IRS so that people can deduct their donations. (Although I'm sure there's a secondary guilt effect.)

My mother was business manager of her (Catholic) church for a number of years. You would not believe the amount of drama, politics, money-grubbing that goes on in those places. She uncovered embezzlement, kickbacks, and other garbage and the culprits weren't prosecuted. One was promoted!

[boosterp]

That's funny, cause I've never heard of this concept of having the church tell you what to give. What you give is between you and God. You can give when the plate comes around or not, it's no one's business. Learned something new....

Really? We get letters explaining that they expect 10% of our earnings. I fucking laugh. I dont even go, my wife does, but I dont think she gives more then $5 a week. We have to give something just so we can have ours kids christened and recieve their sacraments.

The money pandering is a fucking joke though. The church was always supposed to be about "whatever you can give", now these motherfuckers write the amount they want on the envelope. I wised up to their act looooong ago.

I have been to every kind of denominational church there is from Lutheran to Southern Baptist and have noticed the same thing; when it comes to offerings they want every cent you can possibly give. If it's not for usual church expenses then it is for music or Sunday School, or some church picnic where the members are already supplying food and drink. It has become more and more ridiculous since the 70s (as far back as I can recall). I am not anti-Christian or anti-organized religion but as I see more churches spring up with parking lots full of people some with 100+ foot crosses that have to have special FAA permits I just find it silly that they ask for so much.

[instrument]

i heard a minister at a local baptist church said the same thing.

he's also a minister who told his congregation he had a vision of himself living in a big white house on a hill, and that god wanted him to have this home...so apparently the church bought a new house for him.....

seriously.

[Gvac]

Short history: I was raised Catholic

You could have stopped right there my friend.

Your entrance into heaven is guaranteed. You were raised in the one true religion, not a phony offshoot.

Attending church, giving donations, doing charitable deeds, etc. These things are not necessary for those of us who were blessed to be born Catholic.

Kick back and enjoy your Sundays.

[IMSlacker]

voila!

What does he have to do with this?

http://mlb.imageg.net/graphics/product_images/p881150dt.jpg

[ToiletCrusher]

The Episcopalians don't really have those issues, maybe because they let their ministers get tail.

http://www.ohmyweird.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/tailman.JPG




vestigial tail.

[Dougie Brootal]

http://www.ohmyweird.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/tailman.JPG




vestigial tail.

is it wrong to be turned on by that?

[EliSnow]

The balls on my fucking church!!!

Is your church the Church of the Phallus (http://www.geocities.com/phallicchurch/home.html)?

[foodcourtdruide]

Wow, they explicitly asked for $300 a month?

[RoseBlood]

The last time I went to church to make my mother happy. The priest kept telling us that we should reach into our pockets more, how we made more money than him and could afford to give more. He actually said he didn't want to hear any change in the basket.

I refuse to go back, my heart wasn't in it anyway.

It's great for people who have faith in it and helps them lead a better life, just not me.

[Judge Smails]

Wow, they explicitly asked for $300 a month?

The letter made a big point of praising the people who on average gave. $300. Then it went on to state that if we would give a minimum of $100 then they could get by (remember they just got $2 million in the bank).

But the implication from the letter was that if we gave less than the $300 that the "good" people are giving then we're real shitheads.

[mendyweiss]

Who's leading this church, Rev. Ike ?

[booster11373]

That's one of the things I love about the Protestant denomination, the crux is building a personal realationship with "God" yet just like the Catholics they have to gather as a group on a Sunday, be led by someone and reach deep in to their pockets.

I guess they want to have a realationship with "God" but really just as freinds that way the preacher can get his cut

[KatPw]

And this is one of my complaints against Christianity,

Organized religion as a whole really. Jewish people have to pay building fees, in addition to donations. I know my boss has to buy tickets whenever he wants to go to a High Holy day mass (I don't know what they call it). And those tickets are expensive. No ticket, no admission to Temple. My cousin is born again and he has to hand over a copy of his tax return so that his church knows exactly what he makes so they can make sure he is tithing the appropriate amount. I have heard of Mormons being manipulated horribly if they can't afford to tithe what they are supposed to. The elders have the nerve to tell them that they will not be allowed to be with their children in the afterlife if they don't pony up the cash. That is just praying on people's emotions. A ex-Mormon I know had this told to her and her husband regarding their dead infant. Just messed up.
Not to say that they all are like that, just that the greed seems to be spreading more and more. Used to be that those that could give made up for those that could only give a little. Now they want to tell you exactly what they think you should give.

[LordJezo]

People sign up as members to churches?

I thought you just go to wherever you wanted on Sunday, sat there, and went home.

[Doogie]

Tell em you converted to Scientology. Tom Cruise has shown you "All the right moves..."

Whacka, Whacka, Whacka

[brettmojo]

What a racket.

[TripleSkeet]

Im Catholic, and Im not anti religion or anti faith. I have strong faith in my religion. Im just anti-church. Church is not religion. Church is the perfect example of haw men can take a beatiful idea and fuck it up horrendously.

And Catholic church priests beg for money just like everyone else.

The worst part is my mom is one of these holy rollers and she refuses to talk to me about religion because she can never win an argument with me.

[Furtherman]

The church is the biggest extortion racket in the history of mankind.

[Crossweird]

The balls on my fucking church!!!

Is your church the Church of the Phallus (http://www.geocities.com/phallicchurch/home.html)?

Or maybe Danglican?

[A.J.]

I remember when I was a kid and the priest got mad at the congregation because he heard change rattling around in the collection baskets. He only wanted bills.

[brettmojo]

Im Catholic, and Im not anti religion or anti faith. I have strong faith in my religion. Im just anti-church. Church is not religion. Church is the perfect example of haw men can take a beatiful idea and fuck it up horrendously.
Women could have done better with it?

[TripleSkeet]

Women could have done better with it?

No. Probably worse. Believe me Im not one of those kind of guys. Its just another example of a good idea turned horrible because of greed and intolerance.

[Crossweird]

Or maybe Danglican?

Latter-Day Taints?

Episscopal?

Jehovah's Wetness?

:help:

[dino_electropolis]

What you decide to give, if anything at all, is up to you.

The bible says 10% (tithing), but if you dont follow the bible, i guess you could care less.

As the vice-president of my church ( i know, suprising right?) i am fully aware of the fiscal crisis that my church faces every month. When the pews are practically empty each week, its no wonder that a not for profit institution is consistently in the red. If not for the generous donations (which are few and far between) of some parishioners, the doors would have been locked long ago.

While affiliating oneself with a religion is free, there are dues which are owed if one wants to be considered a member of a particular church.

Bottom line: if you dont care enough to get to church, why do you care what they ask of you at all? Just disregard it as some junk mail and move on with your life.

[Death Metal Moe]

I remember a couple years ago a guy I worked with told me the priest in charge of the church he and his wife went to occasionally took him to the side. He wanted my co-worker to SIGN A FUCKING PAYMENT CONTRACT. I was stunned.

I understand that if you go to the church there are operating fees and you should tithe. But the contract was just shocking to me. Needless to say no ink was put to paper that Sunday.

I could shit all over religion for hours but I won't do that here. If you attend a church I think you should be part of the community and a part of that responsibility is keeping the doors open which requires money. Even more it requires donation of time but that's another story.

I feel contracts will scare all but the ultra religious away.

[Furtherman]

It would be so easy to fix this if people didn't want to get together and see what their neighbors are wearing and gossip about regular people living thier lives.

Sell the churches' gold, silver and other valuable objects and give the money to charities or poor.

Then you can pray at home. Why not? People talk to themselves mostly at home anyway.

[joethebartender]

300 a month = 3600 yearly X 50 years (giving Smails 50 more to live) = $180,000

Buy this boat with the 180K (2001 Hallberg Rassy 38'), rename it the "Episcopalian Bacchinalian", sail it for the 50 years and leave it to the church in your will. Even Steven.:innocent:

Most of the riggings on HR's are pushbutton for when you're old.:wink:

http://www.everyboat.com/images/boats/967/11463l.jpg

[Judge Smails]

300 a month = 3600 yearly X 50 years (giving Smails 50 more to live) = $180,000

Buy this boat with the 180K (2001 Hallberg Rassy 38'), rename it the "Episcopalian Bacchinalian", sail it for the 50 years and leave it to the church in your will. Even Steven.:innocent:

Most of the riggings on HR's are pushbutton for when you're old.:wink:

http://www.everyboat.com/images/boats/967/11463l.jpg

That's a great idea, but I think I'll call it "The Flying WASP"

[Judge Smails]

We have not been to church since the letter and have made no contact. I don't have any intention of ever going back while my wife is still on the fence. Maybe this email that I just got will push he over the edge. Talk about playing on people's guilt - in an economic downturn no less!

I bolded my favorite sentence. I guess I'm a filthy animal because apparently I'm not paying my "fair share". Remember I'm not costing them anything by not being there. They want my money whether I go or not.

The Vision Initiative of 2009 for our Diocese is Spiritual Renewal. A clear
evidence of spiritual health and spiritual renewal is generosity. The way
in which so many have been generous and faithful in their commitments to the
ministry of our Diocese is more humbling than words adequately can convey.
Personal and corporate sacrifices have been made for this generosity, and I
know it. So does the Task Force on Restructure. We need this generosity now
and will continue to need it in the future.

A special thanks goes to those parishes that are paying their full Fair
Share. I am grateful for such faithfulness that loves God’s Church so much.
Testimony to the goodness of God in the lives of our parishes is clear.
That’s why I’m writing to say

Thank You

Keep well. Rest as you each and all are able. Know that you are and remain
close at heart.

Right Onward!

The Rt. Rev. George E. Councell

[boosterp]

Deplorable. :nono:

[Contra]

Send them an I.O.U. or, better yet, a check payable only to God.

That would be awsome, especially since you are planning to never go back.

[sr71blackbird]

I wonder if telling them why you do not want to give and why you want to leave the church will have an effect on them. Id want to do it so that they understood your reasons so that they have the opportunity to save themselves from extinction. Catholic churches do the same thing now, they tell you what to give! Id like to point out to that church how since that woman died and they inherited that money and started doing stuff like they did, and then have the balls to want more is why you want out. They need to know. Not some church secretary either, the bishop or whatever leads the region. Maybe if the church had an idea of what they are doing wrong they would not lose their congregations and people wouldn't lose the faith that the church says people are losing.

[tanless1]

the solution : find another church. it is important to fellowship ( wish i had the opportuinity to go more often) ; but you cant just walk in and decide " this is church " . you need to take measure. the pastor, what is his focus ? what does he take from the word ? is it fire , brimstone, damnation, repent. is it a show, a theatrical production?
ive been to churches w/ full on rock concert lighting and stadium seating.... terribly impersonal and i wasnt there to be converted ; i was there to hear the word, not bang my head.
it saddens me when greater membership ( = money) becomes the goal instead of accepting your flock for what it is. a congregation will grow as needed, in the lords time ?
this happend to a friend / pastor of mine about 7 years ago. the church board decided they needed to complete w/ the mega-church across town. decided that they would dictate to the pastor what to preach. people had been w/ this church for over 20 years. the pastor left and started his own church. membership lasts for a year, and each year they start over so nobody gets to pompous. no, he's not my favorite(a little soft) ; but i can trust him . ive only have four pastors that ill sit in church w/ and one is no longer a pastor ; one is in indiana and one in california.....

[Gvac]

This thread reminds me of the old joke about the millionaire who leaves all his money to his three best friends - a priest, a doctor, and a lawyer.

[booster11373]

We have not been to church since the letter and have made no contact. I don't have any intention of ever going back while my wife is still on the fence. Maybe this email that I just got will push he over the edge. Talk about playing on people's guilt - in an economic downturn no less!

I bolded my favorite sentence. I guess I'm a filthy animal because apparently I'm not paying my "fair share". Remember I'm not costing them anything by not being there. They want my money whether I go or not.

Just give 1/3 of the money you would have to give them to a non-religious charity. You and yoiur family would be doing something better that way

[tanless1]

... the point is, you know where the truth lay.
just because he's behind the pulpit or is a member of your preferd denomination, doesnt make him right or sincere. god doesnt require pomp' nor circumstance, or a fancy hat, celibacy and there is no hierarchy on this plane of existence.
christianity is fairly simple, just a bunch of knukleheads get'n in the way and mess'n it up through misrepresentation and self.

[booster11373]

Imagine how mad you would be if you went to this guy's "church"

Televangelist lays off employees then builds 4 million dollar home

http://www.dvorak.org/blog/2009/07/07/televangelist-lays-off-employees-then-builds-4-million-dollar-home-har/

[tanless1]

livid, id be. shameful, disgusting.

[furie]

that's why i'm still catholic.
they don't really care if you show up or not and they don't bust your balls on how much you give. although they do bang you pretty hard on special occasions, but i guess it evens out.

----------------
Now playing: Bruce Springsteen - Jersey Girl (http://www.foxytunes.com/artist/bruce+springsteen/track/jersey+girl)
via FoxyTunes (http://www.foxytunes.com/signatunes/)

[IamFogHat]

Fuck them and fuck their imaginary man who lives in the sky!

Atta boy!
Seriously though, just out of curiosity, if I was in that situation (i.e. went to church every once and a while cause my wife wanted us to) and I read that letter, I would just chuckle and throw it out. Your reaction to it is like it's a legal thing you have to pay. Why is just ignoring those retards so weird? Again, just curious.

[sailor]

This thread reminds me of the old joke about the millionaire who leaves all his money to his three best friends - a priest, a doctor, and a lawyer.

and?

[monkfish]

The priest at the church where our kids were baptized went into the house of a fairly new member of the church for a friendly house call...apparently during the course of conversation he pointed out how nice the house was and told the couple that they should be donating over two hundred dollars a month.

I can't wait until the FBI raids his living quarters.

[SatCam]

and?

The three proceed to conservatively invest all the money they inherited, put their children thru college and retire comfortably.

[sailor]

The three proceed to conservatively invest all the money they inherited, put their children thru college and retire comfortably.

gvac's got the bestest jokes!

[lindsayinpink]

It started with little numbered envelopes. At the beginning of the year we get a packet of envelopes. There's one for each week of the year, then there are ones for special holiday services, one for...

I am truly sorry you feel this way, but I would like to explain to you what this is for. Actually you are receiving the envelopes maybe because you were giving on a regular basis.

This system is something adopted by many churches to help you keep a record of how much you give - for TAX BREAK purposes. If you give cash and not checks then it is not traceable to be counted for taxes. And if the church is big then they only keep track of the envelopes and not checks. The envelopes are their way of making it easier for you come tax season. The reason for so many envelopes is because many people choose to give every week, like my grandma who puts her church money in the envelopes at the beginning of the month. I on the other hand, only give when I get paid because it is easier for me to keep track because I aim to give 10-15%. I tend to throw away the extra envelopes.

The special envelopes are if you want your money to go towards something else instead, or in addition to your general tithe. An example of this is at my church Women's ministry does not receive funds from the general offering, only if it is specified as Women's ministry.

I'm not sure this will help you in feeling better about the church and the friendliness of the people there, which makes me sad, but I hope it helps you to understand that in no way is this supposed to make you feel guilty. You can request to not be on the envelope list as well, no shame attached. I hope you read this and I hope you have a good day!

God Bless!
Lindsay

[Slumbag]

I am truly sorry you feel this way, but I would like to explain to you what this is for. Actually you are receiving the envelopes maybe because you were giving on a regular basis.

This system is something adopted by many churches to help you keep a record of how much you give - for TAX BREAK purposes. If you give cash and not checks then it is not traceable to be counted for taxes. And if the church is big then they only keep track of the envelopes and not checks. The envelopes are their way of making it easier for you come tax season. The reason for so many envelopes is because many people choose to give every week, like my grandma who puts her church money in the envelopes at the beginning of the month. I on the other hand, only give when I get paid because it is easier for me to keep track because I aim to give 10-15%. I tend to throw away the extra envelopes.

The special envelopes are if you want your money to go towards something else instead, or in addition to your general tithe. An example of this is at my church Women's ministry does not receive funds from the general offering, only if it is specified as Women's ministry.

I'm not sure this will help you in feeling better about the church and the friendliness of the people there, which makes me sad, but I hope it helps you to understand that in no way is this supposed to make you feel guilty. You can request to not be on the envelope list as well, no shame attached. I hope you read this and I hope you have a good day!

God Bless!
Lindsay

Oh this fucking rules.

I hope Smails' church hunted him down and found him here.

[lindsayinpink]

Oh this fucking rules.

I hope Smails' church hunted him down and found him here.

no not at all... just a random passer by who is actually sickened by the stories of some on here. Sadly that is not the point of Christianity but everyone is human and makes mistakes and greed is very easily taken. How I wish it wasn't the truth, I am blessed to have never attended a church where the specifically asked for a dollar amount or said what is acceptable. However it take a courageous (because of all the slander aftermath) pastor to be able to speak about tithing without demanding money from people... because as Christians it is a part of what Christ calls us to. But if you don't care about the church or Christianity, then you shouldn't care about these mass mailings.

[Slumbag]

no not at all... just a random passer by who is actually sickened by the stories of some on here. Sadly that is not the point of Christianity but everyone is human and makes mistakes and greed is very easily taken. How I wish it wasn't the truth, I am blessed to have never attended a church where the specifically asked for a dollar amount or said what is acceptable. However it take a courageous (because of all the slander aftermath) pastor to be able to speak about tithing without demanding money from people... because as Christians it is a part of what Christ calls us to. But if you don't care about the church or Christianity, then you shouldn't care about these mass mailings.

Cool. Rock on, Churchy.
http://missanthropy.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/buddy_christ.jpg

[lindsayinpink]

Cool. Rock on, Churchy.

thats funny, thanks u too!

[joethebartender]

at least I know how my money's spent.

http://news.softpedia.com/images/news2/Westboro-Baptist-Church-Continues-God-Hates-Lady-Gaga-Campaign-2.jpg

[lindsayinpink]

at least I know how my money's spent.

http://news.softpedia.com/images/news2/Westboro-Baptist-Church-Continues-God-Hates-Lady-Gaga-Campaign-2.jpg

I disagree with the picture, God hates no one.

[topless_mike]

at least I know how my money's spent.

http://news.softpedia.com/images/news2/Westboro-Baptist-Church-Continues-God-Hates-Lady-Gaga-Campaign-2.jpg

I disagree with the picture, God hates no one.

if anything, Lady Gaga is proof that God has a sense of humor. Guess she slipped past the QC check.

[Chigworthy]

So, today I get a letter from the church stating how apparently some people have not been pulling their weight in the weekly donations because they have not been attending regularly. I guess they've decided to stop sending around the collection plate and they now expect me to write them a check for $300 at the beginning of each month whether I'm there or not! Fuck them and fuck their imaginary man who lives in the sky!

This system is something adopted by many churches to help you

Isn't lying one of those "sin" things?

[Jujubees2]

About ten years ago, I remember going to church and seeing TV cameras out front (some of them actually came in and recorded parts of the mass). When I got there I saw that the bishop was in the back of the church and would be celebrating the mass (which was very odd since it wasn't any kind of special day).

During his homily he drops this bombshell on us:

A Hole in the Collection Plate; From Smudge on Ledger to Embezzlement Inquiry (http://www.nytimes.com/2000/10/06/nyregion/a-hole-in-the-collection-plate-from-smudge-on-ledger-to-embezzlement-inquiry.html?pagewanted=all)

And the worst part is that he was never charged:

Priest accused of misusing funds won't be charged - Nation - Thomas J. Gradilone - Brief Article (http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1141/is_10_38/ai_82261674/)

[KingModem]

I am a recently converted agnostic. I grew up Lutheran, stayed so my whole life even though I hated church, and didn't get it.

Then the pastor I grew up with got arrested for child pornography and touching some kid. That was the end of that for me.

My take on it is that when you are in a vulnerable state and you have nowhere else to turn, church is a wonderful option. And you should tithe for the services they provide, as it is somewhat therapeutic. Its no different than going to a shrink.

And there were times when I was young, that the church actually helped bail some members out if they lost their job or where in a jam. And I commend that type of social group 100%.

My take is, if you use their services, tithe. Most churches are not filled with degenerate leadership.

Me? I would rather feed the homeless and underprivileged children than contribute to a church.

[opie's twisted balls]

My cousin is born again and he has to hand over a copy of his tax return so that his church knows exactly what he makes so they can make sure he is tithing the appropriate amount.
LMAO....my T1 (canuck version of your 1040) is something shared between my accountant, the CRA (our filthy version of the IRS) and if I'm absolutely pressed to do so my banker. Other then that go fuck off. Wouldn't show it to my family, GF or let alone my priest. Why? Because its none of their business.


The bible says 10% (tithing), but if you dont follow the bible, i guess you could care less.
The bible says all sorts of wacky stuff and should be followed as literally as any Dr. Seuss book.

Case in point....
Samuel 18:27
Wherefore David arose and went, he and his men, and slew of the Philistines two hundred men; and David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in full tale to the king, that he might be the king's son in law. And Saul gave him Michal his daughter to wife.

Don't care how much I want a promotion or to bang some chick....I'm not about to be collecting cock skin.


....that in no way is this supposed to make you feel guilty.....
LOL, thats a good one. The church not trying to make someone feel guilt! :lol:

[Death Metal Moe]

LOL, thats a good one. The church not trying to make someone feel guilt! :lol:

That is the best line in this thread.

If Religion didn't have guilt and shame, they'd have no wrap to sell to people.

No religion on the Earth will ever get another cent of my money or a moment of my time.

[IamFogHat]

This thread reminds me of the old joke about the millionaire who leaves all his money to his three best friends - a priest, a doctor, and a lawyer.

Is the punchline something about his three best friends were a Catholic and two Jews or something?

[SonOfSmeagol]

No religion on the Earth will ever get another cent of my money or a moment of my time.

One last twenny for these guys?

http://moelutheran.com/

[Jujubees2]

One last twenny for these guys?

http://moelutheran.com/

I wonder if Larry and Curly have their own church too?

[opie's twisted balls]

I wonder if Larry and Curly have their own church too?
I'd go to Shemp's Church of the Hee-bee-bee-bee!

[Furtherman]

The balls on this church:

Nun Excommunicated After Saving a Mother's Life With Abortion (http://abcnews.go.com/WN/Media/church-excommunicates-nun-authorized-emergency-abortion-save-mothers/story?id=10799745)


Church Stands by Decision to Kick Out Sister Margaret McBride After She Authorized an Emergency Abortion to Save a Woman's Life

As a key member of the hospital's ethics board, McBride gathered with doctors in November of 2009 to discuss the young woman's fate.

The mother was suffering from pulmonary hypertension, an illness the doctors believed would likely kill her and, as a result, her unborn child, if she did not abort the pregnancy.

In the end, McBride chose to save the young woman's life by agreeing to authorize an emergency abortion, a decision that has now forced her out of a job and the Catholic Church.

AhhhhhHHHHaaaHHHHaaasSSSShoooooles.

[Misteriosa]

when i first read this about a month ago, the first thing that came into my head was:

a nun who devoted her life to the church and authorized an abortion to save a woman's life: instant excommunication.

a priest who molests little children for decades: cover up the incidents with sworn oaths of secrecy and shuffle the priest off to another parish to molest more children.

its nice to see the church has her priorities in order

[Recyclerz]

when i first read this about a month ago, the first thing that came into my head was:

a nun who devoted her life to the church and authorized an abortion to save a woman's life: instant excommunication.

a priest who molests little children for decades: cover up the incidents with sworn oaths of secrecy and shuffle the priest off to another parish to molest more children.

its nice to see the church has her priorities in order

The Roman Catholic Church subscribes to the Whatley Doctrine:

Girls are ugly and stupid.

[Death Metal Moe]

There's not much more to say in this thread. None of these disgusting stories about abuse and cover ups are shocking anymore.

What is still shocking is that anyone goes to these people for spiritual guidance and worse, trusts them with their children for ANY amount of time.

[torker]

JS: I wrote a check for $300s blah bla bah
http://hellokittychecksonline.com/HelloK1.jpg
Stop being a cheap prick, give cash like a man, and move on, FN pantywaist.

[KC2OSO]

myopes :down:

[A.J.]

The balls on this church:

Nun Excommunicated After Saving a Mother's Life With Abortion (http://abcnews.go.com/WN/Media/church-excommunicates-nun-authorized-emergency-abortion-save-mothers/story?id=10799745)




AhhhhhHHHHaaaHHHHaaasSSSShoooooles.

I'm sure the Episcopalians will take her. They're Catholic Lite.

[SP1!]

Churches are nothing but mental extortion, I had one of my previous jr pastors ask me about my tithing and I simply asked him "where in the bible does it say I have to give it to you?"

If I feel the urge to give money I will give it straight to the homeless shelters or do what I have done in the past and give toys to the kids at the battered womens shelter. Im still fulfilling my obligation of offering up to god that which is his, at least according to the bible.

Fuck churches, they are scam artists for the most part today