Need advice on cleaning a cat's ears

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

The real Alice S. Fuzzybutt has an ear infection. The vet gave me medication and told me I had to clean her ears every day. They showed me how to do it but that's not the problem. I'm going to have to do it by myself.

She was very cool at the vet's. Very mellow... until they put the drops in her ears and cleaned them. The vet tech had to put her in a towel to keep her from scratching her. Alice put up such a fuss that she lost one of her back claws! The vet did a great job cleaning them so I'm hoping the job won't be too bad.

Any one have to do this? I don't want to hurt her and I sure don't want her to hurt me! Any suggestions? Should I get hawk gloves? A rodeo clown? I had one cat give me a staph infection when he bit me. I don't need that!

[WampusCrandle]

fuck your cat's ears. that way, your cat will die and you will never have to clean cat ears again.

that's a "two birds/ one stone" if i ever saw one.

[PapaBear]

Gloves sound like a good idea. It might be easier to wrap the towel around her, if you put her in a pillowcase first.

[Fez4PrezN2008]

We had to do something similar to one of our cats and we did the towel thing too. We used a BIG beach towel and rolled him up like a cat burrito, pretty tight too so his legs were immobilized. That was def a two person job though. If the towel is not tight, they will get a leg out and then claws and then its over. That's the only bad thing about cats, the pointy ends.
http://www.amcgltd.com/archives/pointy_copy.jpg

[WampusCrandle]

how about this, put the vacuum cleaner up to your cat's ass and mouth, and fill it like a balloon. then quickly fill each hole with cement glue or just cement. then, sit on your cat and all the air will come out of the ears. that way, your cat will be dead AND have clean, hallow ears.

[PapaBear]

how about this, put the vacuum cleaner up to your cat's ass and mouth, and fill it like a balloon. then quickly filler each hole with cement glue or just cement. then, sit on your cat and all the air will come out of the ears. that way, your cat will be dead AND have clean, hallow ears.
Shut up.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

Yes, please stop posting in my thread Wampus.

[WampusCrandle]

you could freeze the cat, and the use an ice pick on your cat's ears.

two birds/ one stone.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

That's the only bad thing about cats, the pointy ends.

I joke that my first line of defense if someone breaks in is to throw Alice on them. She's like a bowling ball with claws!

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

you could freeze the cat, and the use an ice pick on your cat's ears.

two birds/ one stone.

How about I kick you in the crotch when I meet you?

One bird/two stones.

[WampusCrandle]

Yes, please stop posting in my thread Wampus.

i'm gonna go ahead and say i'll post wherever i want. if this was a thread where you needed only serious posts, perhaps post in That's Life Forum, or the Kill and Clean Cat Forum (and my personal favorite forum.)

[WampusCrandle]

How about I kick you in the crotch when I meet you?

One bird/two stones.

and what kind of bird would you be resembling, so i could find you?

[PapaBear]

i'm gonna go ahead and say i'll post wherever i want. if this was a thread where you needed only serious posts, perhaps post in That's Life Forum, or the Kill and Clean Cat Forum (and my personal favorite forum.)
You don't need to act like an asshole about it. Just because it's not in the That's Life forum, doesn't mean you have total freedom to act like that.

[WampusCrandle]

You don't need to act like an asshole about it. Just because it's not in the That's Life forum, doesn't mean you have total freedom to act like that.

says the man that tells me to shut up. and, specifically because it isn't in That's Life forum, it does give me total freedom to act like however i want.

[Fez4PrezN2008]

I love how a fight breaks out in a cat ear cleaning thread. Only on rf dot net.

[WampusCrandle]

I love how a fight breaks out in a cat ear cleaning thread. Only on rf dot net.

people would be angry if it didn't happen. the people have spoken.

[jennysmurf]

I had to do this with the family cat when I was a teenager. My sister and I wrapped the cat in a towel. I held on to him for dear life, and she put the drops in. I don't know how you're going to be able to do it yourself. For one thing, he kept folding his ears back so that we couldn't put the drops in! I suggest getting a buddy to do the drops while you hold on to kitty. Good luck!

[WampusCrandle]

you could put the cat in the oven, and let all the wax just pour out. then you can make cat ear wax candles.

[WampusCrandle]

you know, the regular football season is starting up. you could get kicked off by kicking the cat from the 40 yard line for a touch down. or spike the cat. either way will effectively drain your cat of that pesky ear wax ... and vital organs, perhaps an eye.

two birds/ one stone.

[spoon]

This thread is not even CLOSE to what I expected!? Is this a comedy pyramid on how to clean a cat's ears!?

How about a microwave as in the gremlins? That's bound to get anything out of anything if left long enough.

[WampusCrandle]

I am thinking that if you just blew an air horn in the ears, that cat would go deaf, hence, no need to clean the ears.

[spoon]

I am thinking that if you just blew an air horn in the ears, that cat would go deaf, hence, no need to clean the ears.

What about old school golf spikes? I'm sure they'll work decent. Just smash the cat on both sides with the shoes as if ur trying to get the grass out of the soles.

[WampusCrandle]

driving repeatedly up and down the spine of the cat will surprisingly dispense all wax and unwanted organs, like the heard and lungs.

[WampusCrandle]

What about old school golf spikes? I'm sure they'll work decent. Just smash the cat on both sides with the shoes as if ur trying to get the grass out of the soles.

that is a solid idea. better yet, place rusty blades in the ears, and pack them in tight. then, when you want to sharpen your pencil, you jam the pencil in the ear, and twist the cats head. it would probably be more helpful if said cat was decapitated.

[TooLowBrow]

I suggest getting a buddy to do the drops while you hold on to kitty. Good luck!

:wub:

[spoon]

:wub:

Dude really?! That wouldn't help a fucking thing! Come on man, serious replies only.......asshole!

[WampusCrandle]

i know how Lucy got the wax out of her cat's ears.

http://mrsjones6.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/lucy.jpg

[WampusCrandle]

my favorite cat ear cleaning tool

http://www.planetfortress.com/tf2models/previews/Battle%20Grounds%2040K/ShotGun.jpg

[spoon]

This may save you a buck or two....and a bullet, but works great at wax removal.

http://rubroadcastnewswriting.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/icepick.jpg

http://blog.nj.com/entertainment_impact_celebrities/2008/04/large_jade3.jpg

[WampusCrandle]

This may save you a buck or two....and a bullet, but works great at wax removal.

http://rubroadcastnewswriting.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/icepick.jpg

http://blog.nj.com/entertainment_impact_celebrities/2008/04/large_jade3.jpg

with tools like that, you want to miss the first few times.

[spoon]

Here's a new tool worth trying. I asked at Petsmart and they suggested it.

http://www.spassmonkey.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/images/el_panda_flamethrower_wallpaper.jpg

Hell, Jon even designed one himself.

http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/Dunechaser/Extras/Weapons/flamethrower.1.jpg

[WampusCrandle]

Here's a new tool worth trying. I asked at Petsmart and they suggested it.

http://www.spassmonkey.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/images/el_panda_flamethrower_wallpaper.jpg

Hell, Jon even designed one himself.

http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/Dunechaser/Extras/Weapons/flamethrower.1.jpg

oh boy, it looks nifty, but pricey.

[spoon]

oh boy, it looks nifty, but pricey.

With all the ad revenue from his twestivals and twiffleball, I'm sure JJon will cut you and Alice a deal.

[earthbrown]

This should work nicely...

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r260/cheeselbucket/IMG_3421.jpg

[TheMojoPin]

Ease up, spazzes.

[Ritalin]

Ease up, spazzes.

Ah ha.

Mojo pin: cat lady.

[vjr97]

if your cats ears are dirty: get a gun and blow the cats brains out-then purchase another cat and start over again

[red_red_red]

:laugh: you ppl are asses, i like it.
big towel, 2 ppl, wrap that kitty up tight, be calm and efficient, she'll forgive you after a few kitty treats.

[Farmer Dave]

No advice on treating her now. I wonder if shaving your cat would be helpful in preventing future infections?

[SatCam]

Leave the cat alone, let the ear infection drive it to the point of rabid insanity, and let it lose on those two fucks above

[DarkHippie]

get her high with cat nip first, then do the towel thing.

drugs make everything better

[ImNotGvac]

get her high with cat nip first, then do the towel thing.

drugs make everything better

http://www.itchmo.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/pete-doherty-cat-crack1.jpg

[WampusCrandle]

:laugh: you ppl are asses, i like it.
big towel, 2 ppl, wrap that kitty up tight, be calm and efficient, she'll forgive you after a few kitty treats.


oh you. the big towel thing may actually work. whip the cat with big wet towel in the face, and the wax will eventually come out.

Leave the cat alone, let the ear infection drive it to the point of rabid insanity, and let it lose on those two fucks above

oh sweety, if that dumb cat came out me, i would squeeze out the insides like a tube of toothpaste, and then use the skin as a cock cozy. it would be delightful.

[WampusCrandle]

if you throw the cat off a roof, i'm sure the air will funnel into the ears and clean them.

http://www.pictures-of-cats.org/images/cat-falling-b.jpg

[WampusCrandle]

prior to popular belief, dogs actually love to lick cat ears.

http://www.w3bbo.com/forums/owned/Owned-DogEatCat.jpg

[spoon]

http://loyalkng.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/dog_eating_cat.jpg

The man doesn't lie. Here's the dogwisperer's take on cleaning cat ears as well...and g shep meals. Satcam hurry, get in here and be a hero!

[spoon]

Have you tried the old Scottish tradition of spin and toss to get out the wax? You know their old saying right? If it isn't Scottish, it's WAX!

http://www.april-fools.us/images/swinging-dead-cat.jpg

[WampusCrandle]

http://loyalkng.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/dog_eating_cat.jpg

The man doesn't lie. Here's the dogwisperer's take on cleaning cat ears as well...and g shep meals. Satcam hurry, get in here and be a hero!

oh, you're cat cleaner is waaaaaaay more cute than my cat cleaner. but, i can't help but think that your cat cleaner has cleaned other animals, too.

http://grumpyvegan.com/images/blog/civil-rights-dogs.jpg

[ToiletCrusher]

But, what do you use to clean a German Shepard's ears?

Lions?

[spoon]

But, what do you use to clean a German Shepard's ears?

Lions?

That's easy, Q tip.

Here he is showing his world famous ear cleaning technique.

http://www.acquiredclothing.com/images/press/qtip_acquired_0913.jpg

[ToiletCrusher]

He likes metal?

Do german shepards?

[spoon]

He likes metal?

Do german shepards?

STAY ON TOPIC!!

Try the bounce technique.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_1I7KiCuAU4k/SPQciw4BSBI/AAAAAAAABk4/3_EGXw-ERWA/s400/dead_cat_bounce.jpg

[Bill From Yorktown]

how about the opposite aproach? Instead of making a kitty burrito, try the gentle approach of a little medicine on a q-tip and make it a game? If you don't stress the cat out, he might warm up to it.

then again there's benedryl.

[Farmer Dave]

how about the opposite aproach? Instead of making a kitty burrito, try the gentle approach of a little medicine on a q-tip and make it a game? If you don't stress the cat out, he might warm up to it.

then again there's benedryl.

Stop with the tomfoulery, Wampus is trying to be helpful.

Tie a balloon to her tail. She will run with the balloon chasing her until she tires out. then you can clean them while she sleeps.

[earthbrown]

http://grumpyvegan.com/images/blog/civil-rights-dogs.jpg

That is one clean "Cat"....


K

[nate1000]

http://www.roflcat.com/images/cats/270913946_efa38ec3d8.jpg

[WampusCrandle]

http://www.roflcat.com/images/cats/270913946_efa38ec3d8.jpg

this thread has a personal and cozy place in my heart.