I HATE my new neighbors

[opie's twisted balls]

If I could I'd burn down their house and roast wienies on the glowing embers

[red_red_red]

If I could I'd burn down their house and roast wienies on the glowing embers
ok, i'll bite...why do you hate them?

[ANC]

If I could I'd burn down their house and roast wienies on the glowing embers

Hey at least give us time to get out of the house..

[furie]

s'ok, i hate my neighbors too

[Dude!]

be they black?

[TroutSkin]

My crazy, methhead neighbors finally moved out , although i'm thrilled, it could be any day they come back and try to steal my stuff.

[JohnCharles]

There is a real crotchety old broad and her xanax-shakes mid-40s son living next to me.

The guy stands outside in his boxers and a robe and smokes and babbles gibberish for hours on end.

One of these days, I'm gonna throw a rock at him.

Oh, wait... I move into my new place in a couple of weeks.

Problem solved.

[opie's twisted balls]

ok, i'll bite...why do you hate them?
Without sounding like a complete lunatic or grumpy old bastard let me set the stage.

The neighborhood would best be described as upper middle class. Nice houses, everyone in the close takes care of their homes and yards, there's not a lot of traffic, good mix of older and younger families, the crime rate is amongst the lowest in the city. Basically its a very nice place to live. I've been here for 7 years and aside from not having any kids I fit in quite nicely. The last neighbors looked after their yard with almost religious like fervor. I'm sure they spent a couple grand every spring on bedding plants plus the whole whack of perennials, shrubs, trees its a god damn oasis. They didn't just plant a lot of stuff they looked after it. Weeded all the time, kept the beds looking immaculate. That carried over to how they kept their house. Always neat, clean, no ruckuses....just quiet friendly people to have next door.

The new brood moved in this past summer and right from the get go I was a little put off. I know that moving is a brutal experience can be very stressful. The first day they were there I walked over, rang the bell and introduced myself to the wife. Along with my charming personality and glowing smile I brought along a few things. A list of the grocery stores, gas stations, banks, etc. in the neighborhood (not something I typed up, was provided by the Welcome Wagon), a small cooler of pops and bottled water and a gift card from Pizza Hut. Most people don't have food at hand when they move so thought it might be a nice gesture to provide a meal on their first night. I also offered that if they need to borrow any tools to put together furniture, hang a picture, etc. by all means come over. Not so much as a thank you in return. Don't expect to be fellated on their front step but a small acknowledgement would have been nice.

It went downhill from there.

Since they've the entire family has been nothing but insufferable cunts! The kids are completely out of control. The wife is a fat sow of a woman who I can't imagine ever being fucked but since there are two kids either the husband has tapped her yeasty twat or the mailman have dumped a couple of loads into that putrid axe wound. They're the consummate example of white trash. They have no class, no respect for their new neighbors or neighborhood, their car looks ridiculous plastered with stickers of the local NHL team (wonder if the husband stopped maturing at 21 and feels the need to live life though some shitty team?).

There was a problem a few weeks ago when I came home and noticed water leaking from the side of their house. I went to take a look and thankfully someone had left an outside tap on and the hose froze and started to leak. No big deal, I just shut the water off and left a note on their front door letting them know what had happened in case they were wondering why there was a sheet of ice in their back yard. Again, no thank you.

So fuck 'em! They're dead to me.


Hey at least give us time to get out of the house..
If you are my neighbor I'd like my screwdrivers back!


be they black?
Nope. And I have no problem with different ethnicities living in my neighborhood. On the other side of me I have Koreans (she makes the best koon mandu), down the way there is a Persian family. Lots of other Asians near by. All cool!


My crazy, methhead neighbors finally moved out , although i'm thrilled, it could be any day they come back and try to steal my stuff.
Lock and load!


Oh, wait... I move into my new place in a couple of weeks.

Problem solved.
Shame you had to move.

[red_red_red]

i'm sorry but that story made me laugh...i am put off by neighbors who come to my house to introduce themselves. not because i am a fat assed cunt, because they want to know where i go to church
:laugh:
who even asks that?

sorry you have heathen neighbors, maybe they will go belly up

[opie's twisted balls]

because they want to know where i go to church
:laugh:
who even asks that?

Thats just creepy. If you get asked again just tell them you pray to your dark lord Satan.

[STC-Dub]

It does not sound like you have the best neighbors, but you could do much worse. My neighbor -- before he died -- never got my name right even ager 7 years and every time I saw him complained about my dogs -- even the time I told him he had lost a sprinkler head and had a geyser in his yard. There is nothing quite like getting a call from someone calling you by the wrong name telling you you need to go turn the pump for the neighborhood off either.

[Fez4PrezN2008]

So you want to burn their house down because they didn't send you a thank you card? :unsure:

[Penelope]

I love my neighbors, sweet elderly people mostly, but hate the kids who come into the neighborhood at night. Someone has stolen all of the emblems off of my car. My neighbors have had their windows broken, and seats stolen out of their cars. Parents please lock up your devil children at night.

[sailor]

maybe saying "pops" threw them off. what did she say when you brought the gifts over?

[opie's twisted balls]

So you want to burn their house down because they didn't send you a thank you card? :unsure:
The lack of a thank you is indicative of their attitude. They don't do shit with what was a beautiful yard, I've mowed their front lawn because they didn't and I don't like the neighborhood looking rundown, they're forever parking in front of my house, their kids run through my front yard and have broken a bunch of plants and shrubs. They're slovenly rude assholes and they make me grumpy. All of that aside the lack of a thank you to me signifies they don't view themselves as wanting to be part of the community.


I love my neighbors, sweet elderly people mostly
Two houses down are a geriatric couple who are great. I'll shovel their snow if I know they're not feeling well and have taken the old bird for groceries a few times.

and seats stolen out of their cars
Who the fuck steals seats from a car??? Decks, ipods, etc. I can understand. Small, easy to carry and fence. But seats??? How to you explain to 5-0 while you're walking down the street with a fine piece of Corinthian leather?

what did she say when you brought the gifts over?
If you're asking me that.....all she really did was grunt. If you want a description of her looks and personality think Rosanne Barr but less attractive and less refined personality.

[Dude!]

otb, if i had an
in-your-face-neighbor like you,
i would kill myself...or you

you make Gladys Kravitz
seem like a good neighbor

[boosterp]

I love the upper middle class neighborhoods, I never quite fit in. At my last house on one side was a retired couple that were nice, just sticklers for the rules which was not a problem. On the other side must of lived 3 generations of white trash. They were creepy, the old man would sit in his wheelchair all day, turned toward my yard, and smoke. It creeped my ex out more. Their fat ass daughter who was in her 40s was not all to bright, and her teenagers were ass pains. But, besides the creepy and somewhat trashy characters they never caused any real problems. I've been fairly lucky with neighbors, most of the time I just avoid them.

[Chigworthy]

...because they want to know where i go to church
:laugh:
who even asks that?



Just use the Ronnie B method:

When they ask just say, "Wherever you go to church." Then quickly and smoothly change the subject.


And by the way, OTB, you're neighbors sound like fucking assholes. You go out of your way to be a gentleman, and they shit all over you. Next time their pipes freeze, bring over a cooler of drinks and a delivery pizza, park a folding chair on the sidewalk in front of the leak, kick back and enjoy the show. When they come home, act like you are watching fireworks, like it is the best entertainment you've seen in a long time.

[opie's twisted balls]

otb, if i had an
in-your-face-neighbor like you,
i would kill myself...or you

you make Gladys Kravitz
seem like a good neighbor
hmphf......none of my home made wine or happy hay for you


I love the upper middle class neighborhoods, I never quite fit in........I've been fairly lucky with neighbors, most of the time I just avoid them.
I don't mind not fitting in. Hell, I don't really fit the demographic of the neighborhood. For me its just about finding a place you like and not annoying anyone too much. Which leads to avoidance. I don't stick my nose in anyone's business. Don't care what anyone in my neighborhood does as long as it doesn't impact my life or property values.


pipes freeze.......cooler of drinks.....park a folding chair on the sidewalk......kick back
I like the concept.....however not keen on the idea of parking my ass in a lawnchair when its below freezing.

[biggirl]

we got new neighbors last spring. They are soooooooooooo weird.

They are about mid 50's couple that have kids from previous marriages. The lady just has a smile pasted on her face at all times with bleach blond hair and dresses in black. The guy would never leave me alone when I was outside. I was cleaning the garage one day and he came into the garage and just stared at me and nearly gave me a heart attack. I have no idea why he was looking at me. I am nothing special to look at.

Then one day he sneaked up on me while I was breast feeding my daughter under a blanket and tried to pull the blanket away "to see her".

Then he opened our gate to the backyard...which is a wooden privacy fence. YOu have to really try hard to open it. Our dogs nearly got out and they would have ran away if I wouldn't have caught them. He said he wanted to meet our dogs so he could be "friends" with them.

Then he continued to tell me how hot his step daughters are. Yuck...creepo. Ryan finally had to have a talk with him to tell him to leave us alone. Awkward!

All of our other neighbors are decent. We aren't very social with any of them. We like our space and wish we could live out of town in the country.

[TripleSkeet]

You give them all kinds of welcoming gifts, they dont thank you.....so you mow their lawn. Sucker!!!.....Just kidding.

My neighbors hate me because I moved in and immediately cut down 25 trees so that I could put in an in ground pool and have some sun on my house. Apparently they liked the trees. Too bad they werent willing to pay my extermination fees and clean my roof.

Looks like your just going to have to get used to having white trash live next to you. But if you keep doing their yard work you really are a puss.

[opie's twisted balls]

Then one day he sneaked up on me while I was breast feeding my daughter under a blanket and tried to pull the blanket away "to see her".
You live next door to Uncle Paul :eek:


You give them all kinds of welcoming gifts, they dont thank you.....so you mow their lawn. Sucker!!!.....Just kidding.

My neighbors hate me because I moved in and immediately cut down 25 trees so that I could put in an in ground pool and have some sun on my house. Apparently they liked the trees. Too bad they werent willing to pay my extermination fees and clean my roof.

Looks like your just going to have to get used to having white trash live next to you. But if you keep doing their yard work you really are a puss.
Mowed their lawn since I don't like to see a mess. Our front yards are fairly small so no big deal, can't see their back yard so don't give a shit. As for doing anything in the future....fuck 'em. I've made a small mark on the sidewalk that lines up with the property stake and I'm not going to shovel an inch beyond that. Next summer if they don't cut their front lawn I'll just start spraying RoundUp.

What did you have living in your trees that needed extermination?

[Chigworthy]

I like the concept.....however not keen on the idea of parking my ass in a lawnchair when its below freezing.

I thought you were burning their house down?

[Contra]

we got new neighbors last spring. They are soooooooooooo weird.

They are about mid 50's couple that have kids from previous marriages. The lady just has a smile pasted on her face at all times with bleach blond hair and dresses in black. The guy would never leave me alone when I was outside. I was cleaning the garage one day and he came into the garage and just stared at me and nearly gave me a heart attack. I have no idea why he was looking at me. I am nothing special to look at.

Then one day he sneaked up on me while I was breast feeding my daughter under a blanket and tried to pull the blanket away "to see her".

Then he opened our gate to the backyard...which is a wooden privacy fence. YOu have to really try hard to open it. Our dogs nearly got out and they would have ran away if I wouldn't have caught them. He said he wanted to meet our dogs so he could be "friends" with them.

Then he continued to tell me how hot his step daughters are. Yuck...creepo. Ryan finally had to have a talk with him to tell him to leave us alone. Awkward!

All of our other neighbors are decent. We aren't very social with any of them. We like our space and wish we could live out of town in the country.

That's... Yikes

[boosterp]

You live next door to Uncle Paul :eek:



Mowed their lawn since I don't like to see a mess. Our front yards are fairly small so no big deal, can't see their back yard so don't give a shit. As for doing anything in the future....fuck 'em. I've made a small mark on the sidewalk that lines up with the property stake and I'm not going to shovel an inch beyond that. Next summer if they don't cut their front lawn I'll just start spraying RoundUp.

What did you have living in your trees that needed extermination?

Don't you have a home owner's association? Hell, just report their asses.

[opie's twisted balls]

I thought you were burning their house down?
I'm having to weigh the benefit of getting rid of the assholes vs. the hassle of a construction crew rebuilding.

Don't you have a home owner's association? Hell, just report their asses.
We do but they have no real powers. For the lawn and whatnot there are municipal bylaws but a property needs to be in really bad shape and posing a danger before they'll act.

[Reephdweller]

Just wait till they go out somewhere one afternoon and knock the house down with a wrecking ball. Leave the wrecking ball right in top of the pile of rubble and add another welcome wagon kit on top with pops and a small note that says "Pssst...guess what happens when you don't say Thank You?". They'll get the message.

[topless_mike]

i love my neighbors, i have to say, and i feel confident to assume that they feel the same way.

sorry to hear that about your neighbor.

[TripleSkeet]

What did you have living in your trees that needed extermination?

Nothing. It was just with all those tree I got very little sunlight in my yard. And when it would rain it would take days to dry up. Leaving a very damp, moist backyard. Which meant lots of mosquitos, carpenter ants, and termites. None of which you want to see when you have an 1100 square foot deck.

So I cut them all down, even though my neighbors on both sides have mini forrests in their yard. At least mine stays dry. But I lived in that neighborhood when I was a kid so I have friends there, and I heard that some of the neighbors werent happy. They even went to the Twp. to try and get them to not let me build my pool. But that failed.

I just wish my neighbors would cut some of theirs down. Its really ridiculous. I have 1 tree on my property, in my front yard, and right now itll take me about 4 hours to get all the leaves out of my yard from my neighbors trees.

[opie's twisted balls]

running the furnace and fireplace a little more because its ungodly cold outside: $10
salt and sand for the sidewalk so one one slips: $5
kick ass snowblower that eats drifts: $8000
hearing a ruckus outside and finding its my douche bag neighbor stuck in his driveway and me going back to sipping my scotch: priceless

[Suspect Chin]

Your neighbors are probably posting on a message board somewhere about their nosy neighbor who unexpectedly mowed their lawn, turned off their water, and weirded them out on their first day in the neighborhood.

[EddieMoscone]

I've always living in what I consider one of the quietest neighborhoods in Queens. That is until a family of what seems like a dozen Indians (7-11, not Casino) moved into a 2 bedroom apartment next door. The kids run around like maniacs and bounce off the walls all hours of the night. FML.

[A.J.]

My neighbor is apparently doing some remodeling. I figured this out from the table saw he's been running since 10 this morning. Well, that and the hammering.

No, it wasn't necessary at all to give your neighbors a heads up that you'd be doing that work!

[zildjian361]

can't be no worse than the Jim Bruers Pizza man.

[TripleSkeet]

I've always living in what I consider one of the quietest neighborhoods in Queens. That is until a family of what seems like a dozen Indians (7-11, not Casino) moved into a 2 bedroom apartment next door. The kids run around like maniacs and bounce off the walls all hours of the night. FML.

I think I know them...
http://img412.imageshack.us/img412/2820/33787772.jpg (http://img412.imageshack.us/i/33787772.jpg/)

[angrymissy]

Your neighbors are probably posting on a message board somewhere about their nosy neighbor who unexpectedly mowed their lawn, turned off their water, and weirded them out on their first day in the neighborhood.

Happened to me!

http://ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=73861&highlight=lawn

[TheMojoPin]

I haven't met my new neighbors yet since they haven't actually moved in fulltime, but last week they apparently had someone hook up their cable illegally and in doing so knocked out my cable/internet/landline for almost two days. I had the cable company tech hook me back up and report them.

[Dude!]

I had the cable company tech hook me back up and report them.

cable narc

[TheMojoPin]

Hey, it's not like it was a decision on my part; the cable guy was going to do it anyway since he knew what was up as soon as he checked the box with all the connections. It's their own fault for using a shitty contractor who was just yanking out wires to get them hooked up.

[Suspect Chin]

I haven't met my new neighbors yet since they haven't actually moved in fulltime, but last week they apparently had someone hook up their cable illegally and in doing so knocked out my cable/internet/landline for almost two days. I had the cable company tech hook me back up and report them.

Let me guess, your family was in town during the outage and you wept because you let them down?

[TheMojoPin]

Guh?

[Suspect Chin]

You stole Fez's story.

[TheMojoPin]

Bah.

[Suspect Chin]

Ug.

[Chigworthy]

Gorbachev

[TheGameHHH]

can't be no worse than the Jim Bruers Pizza man.

bag o' rocks

[newport king]

I've mowed their front lawn because they didn't and I don't like the neighborhood looking rundown

over stepped your bounds there. you don't know their situation. maybe the husband works alot and doesnt have the time or money to take care of the lawn the way the previous neighbor did. Most towns where i live if the city inspector feels the lawn is out of control they'll give a fine.

Then one day he sneaked up on me while I was breast feeding my daughter under a blanket and tried to pull the blanket away "to see her"

you breastfeed outside? weird.

[opie's twisted balls]

over stepped your bounds there. you don't know their situation. maybe the husband works alot and doesnt have the time or money to take care of the lawn the way the previous neighbor did. Most towns where i live if the city inspector feels the lawn is out of control they'll give a fine.
Strictly speaking no doubt I crossed a line by cutting their lawn. I knowingly opened myself up to the potential of being accused of trespassing (which would never be prosecuted) and the potential liability issues if god forbid my mower blade caught a rock and whipped it through their front window. I balanced both those risks against not wanting to live beside a house that looks like a dump.

As for your offer of potential excuses? If the dad isn't around to mow the lawn the wife could. Granted their son might be a little young (I think he's 10) but their 16 yr old daughter could. If they don't have the time then you change your life to make the time. A house is a responsibility both in time and money. Given the amount of crap hauled into the garage and back yard they've this isn't their first house so they should know what kind of obligation they're taking on. If you're not prepared to put in the time then hire a professional. If you can't afford it then buy something cheaper.

The grass wasn't an issue of being an inch or so taller then it should be but rather being knee high. Bylaw will come and inspect but unless it poses a hazard or is completely out of control they won't issue a ticket.

And if they did have an issue with me mowing their grass then knock on my door and tell me so.

It still comes down to them being ignorant slobs and bringing down the character of the neighborhood.

[newport king]

my neighbor aside from being a real sweetheart put in a sump pump on his own which would be great if he dug the trench out to the street like youre supposed to....no such luck. intead it flushes out into a pvc pips thats about 5 inches underground onto his lawn which wouldnt be so bad but i feel that the softening of the ground there is near my driveway and my pavers are collapsing a bit.

[Dude!]

Strictly speaking no doubt I crossed a line by cutting their lawn. I knowingly opened myself up to the potential of being accused of trespassing (which would never be prosecuted) and the potential liability issues if god forbid my mower blade caught a rock and whipped it through their front window. I balanced both those risks against not wanting to live beside a house that looks like a dump.

As for your offer of potential excuses? If the dad isn't around to mow the lawn the wife could. Granted their son might be a little young (I think he's 10) but their 16 yr old daughter could. If they don't have the time then you change your life to make the time. A house is a responsibility both in time and money. Given the amount of crap hauled into the garage and back yard they've this isn't their first house so they should know what kind of obligation they're taking on. If you're not prepared to put in the time then hire a professional. If you can't afford it then buy something cheaper.

The grass wasn't an issue of being an inch or so taller then it should be but rather being knee high. Bylaw will come and inspect but unless it poses a hazard or is completely out of control they won't issue a ticket.

And if they did have an issue with me mowing their grass then knock on my door and tell me so.

It still comes down to them being ignorant slobs and bringing down the character of the neighborhood.

dude, people have the right
to live the way they want

who the fuck are you to decide
how someone's house or lawn
should look