Ron's Line Of The Day (LOTD)

[ToLEEdo]

He looks like he is about to shoot Aaron Burr

(about Neil Young)

[ralphbxny]

Put a blow torch on a rabbit and that noise will stay with you for a long time!

[ralphbxny]

Caller-Rabbits are very trainable

Ron-Then get them to pull a wagon!

[ralphbxny]

You find all new ways to be dangerous all the time!!

To Fez

[docgoblin]

From Wednesday:

Dave: We let our furry children in bed with us.

Ron: And by that you mean Casey's vagina

[docgoblin]

Wednesday, talking about hooking Fez up with Dave's brother. Fez apparently has performance anxiety:

Ron: That fucker could get a steamed noodle hard!

[docgoblin]

Again Wednesday when discussing Fez's performance anxiety:

Ron: If I was gay I'd want an impotent guy with a big fat ass!

Fez: Why!?

Ron: So I could pound him in the ass!... What don't you get about your own thing?

[Phild]

The other day when talking about the unusual high temperatures this fall. Dave's stupidity gets a major assist for this one.

Ron: There's gonna be no reason for the Snow Birds to go to Florida. And then it's gonna be just straight hayseeds...

Dave: ...And then Florida will be overrun by worms or whatever Snow Birds eat.

Ron: Snow Birds are people!.. You dumb fuck!

Holy Shit that is the funny fucken thing I have ever heard - Dave you are pidshit and Ronnie - Never Change we love you! :thumbup:

[ralphbxny]

Puerto Ricans are Mexicans who can swim!

[Earlshog]

Ron: Earl I read black parents are a lot more reluctant then white parents to let there kids trick or treat, is that because there are more tricks then treats

Earl: that is true there is more toilet paper, shaving cream, eggs

Ron: Rapes

[Doogie]

Caller: "Scariest movie for me is 'White Man's Burden'"

...Earl: "Why cause black people take over."

Ron: "No, thats planet of the apes."

[DaveLoobking]

Ron: November 10... that date sounds familiar for some reason...

Beanie: November 11 is Armistice Day

Ron: That's it! Armistice Eve!

[ToLEEdo]

Is that Pamela Anderson or Louie Anderson

(about Fez's shoes on Galloween)

[drjoek]

Yesterday discussing why he isnt a Doctor

I came from a different class "Shop Majors"

[crued1]

not sure what context this was in but i remember ron saying:

how do jonafin and i taste???? :ohmy:

[RAAMONE]

forget who this was directed to...one of the crossdressing staff

"you're a MINF...a mother i'd never fuck!"

[drjoek]

Whats the matter Right field? Cant get things right.

[ralphbxny]

shirley Pheleps Roper-"We get the message out and we have signs and we will travel the country!!"

Ron B-"Your kind of like a christian partridge family!!"

[ralphbxny]

Ron B. about Shirley Phellps Roper-"I want to be her Ruben Kincade!!!"

[DiabloSammich]

You're wrong Earl, I was always taunted when I was a kid...

"Hey Whitey, nice house!"

"Hey Whitey, another great pair of shoes!"

"Hey Whitey, you're living with both your parents"

[jelsey01]

Roper: Have a nice frosty mug of shut the hell up!

Ronnie B: ( whispering ) There's no such drink.

[drjoek]

"I'd have a glass too but I'd lose a chip"

[drjoek]

This weekend I am going home and waiting for monday!

[drjoek]

The McDonald After Sex Song!

[joethebartender]

Dave: I could eat popcorn watching "amistad"
Ron: Earl, you ever masturbate to that one?:clap:

[jauble]

On Ronnie's dark heart

"Thats a whole nother book"

[drjoek]

You think that behind that glass, you cannot be touched by society's rules?

[drjoek]

You're like Eileen Wuornos ,After she'd let herself go

[drjoek]

You got the brain of a two year old and the balls of an 80 year old jew

[drjoek]

I know when's the best time to tell the kid theyre adopted. When you're really, really mad at them."

[drjoek]

To Dave are you on strike or just not talented

[ralphbxny]

lilly-What am I going to do with a turtle...you cant play catch with them!

Ron- Sure you can....if you have the time!!

[ralphbxny]

Fez- No cash and no heroin this xmas!

Ron-Another disappointing Xmas!

[Marc with a c]

if god cared so much about it he'd ump the games.

[epo]

"Rub in some on your feet, you've earned it." - to Bronx Johnny about how good the pastries were.

[epo]

Bronx Johnny: " Fuck them and their croissants & cheese."

Ron: "You don't even know what rich people do, do you?"

[drjoek]

re:Lefty ball

This is perfect! For me to wrap up and give to my Dad.

[SouthSideJohnny]

From Monday:

You can look like GWAR but carry a guitar and still get pussy.

[SouthSideJohnny]

From Tuesday - talking about Trading Spaces on Discovery Channel:

I would paint 'Helter Skelter' on the ceiling and then just get high for two days. :lol:

[Cleophus James]

Ron- Those richies with there crystal roller skates

[drjoek]

competitive eating
Its man vs man with a hotdog in the middle

[Cleophus James]

Ron to Fez - "Did you fuck that cat"

[Cleophus James]

Ron - "He looks like one of the kids I refuse to pay for"

[Cleophus James]

Ron - "Dave, Pitzs, urinal, ash can, then you" Talking about Earl's rank on the show

[Cleophus James]

Ron - "You had him when you said shit in my mouth"

[Cleophus James]

Ron - "MEOW meow MEEEOOOOOWWW meow"

[derrickgott007]

Ron: I Just got news of ****BUZZZ! CRACKLE!!! POP**** (xm cutting out) today.

[Cleophus James]

Ron- "She must be exhausted, She didn't even wake up when I felt her up"

[IamFogHat]

"I don't see color. Well, I see black."

[meanmrbill]

Dave: (about Earl) he's like a retarded Burt Bacharach
Ron: That's redundant

[Furtherman]

Earl: I'm taking Perdue.
Ron: The chicken?

[drjoek]

I used to piss in the pool from the diving board

[ChrisTheCop]

Dave: "Earl's hands are always all greasy..."
Earl: "Greasy from what!?"
Ron (Barely audible): "Chicken"

[drjoek]

You wanna know how much money it take to have kids?

ALL OF IT

[SHREDDEDCOCKMEAT]

ronnie says....earl probably holds his ass cheecks open when he's fuckin...

[Cleophus James]

On the $160 turkey and the people pitz dealt with
Ron- "Did they laugh when they hung up the phone"

[SouthSideJohnny]

From yesterday - to Earl:

Idi Amin looks like Edgar Winter next to you.

[SouthSideJohnny]

Also from yesterday:

Speaker (Dave I think): . . . with that plan abortions would decrease.

Ron: Don't look at me when you say that.

[IamFogHat]

I'm basically saying that visually most of what Burt Reynolds does is like blowing a guy at the bus station.

[EliSnow]

Wrong thread.

[DiabloSammich]

To Dave:

"You know what? I'm glad I'm having this fight with you. You know why? You're stupid."

[Cleophus James]

Discussing why Earl Jerked off:
Ron- "So you were lying in bed, and you thought the guys are getting on me. I better play with my dick."

[SouthSideJohnny]

I hate being ripped off. This turkey was cut with manitol.

[IamFogHat]

Pretending to be Lilly's hot fourteen year old cousin in her pajamas:
"Uncle Ronnie you're drunk, what are you doing in here?"

[ralphbxny]

Speaking about ESD smelling Silera's underwears-"What did they smell like...spanish peach?"

[drjoek]

toFez
Your older than money!!

[BoondockSaint]

My foreskin just fell off.

[drjoek]

You know how to tell if a man is attracted to a girl?
If she has a vagina.

[ralphbxny]

Earl- The problem is women love Fez.

Ron-Your going to love him too with your face buried in that hairy ass!

[SouthSideJohnny]

You're not going to tell me Morrison got higher than me, but I got up and got out of it. I didn't lay in a bath like a sissy.

[drjoek]

The only thing you can do is put a fishing pole in your car and pretend you just got up.

[ibanez23]

The only thing you can do is put a fishing pole in your car and pretend you just got up.Perfection....:clap:

[drjoek]

They put Yoohoo next to the Bush ballot

[drjoek]

About New Orleans What do you expect, it got hit by a hurricane! That's like seeing someone who has cancer and saying, "Gee, you're so skinny, Baldy

[drjoek]

Its like masturbation with a child's dildo

[Keotok]

Tony Romo had Thanksgiving with Jessica Simpson at the Simpson house. O.J. was there...I guess the mother is dead.

[RAAMONE]

on fez getting fucked with a strap-on:

"just think of it as the opposite of shitting"

[drjoek]

Pre-Imus world

[underdog]

Ron : And unlike JFK, I can duck.

[sailor]

on dave defending him blindly: dave's on my side, but he doesn't know how or why. (in dave voice): but you're the one who paints!!

[drjoek]

And this may surprise you guys but I was a bit of a wise ass in my youth

[drjoek]

I told my fatherinlaw , "If you ever see me coming, Jump a fence

[TooLowBrow]

as dylan:
'how old am i?
pancakes! that how old i am'

[scottinnj]

To Shirley Roper:

"Did you say a prayer to God when Evel Knievel died?"

To Dave post-interview:

"I could've sworn she would've been a fan of Evel!"

[jetdog]

" I already sent Earl home..."

[Cleophus James]

Dave - "My wife is getting 2 cocks for one"
Ron - "O she's getting 2 cocks"

[Chip Vaughn]

Lil and Selera(sp) talking about the female body

Ron: "Milk, eggs...your a fucking grocery store...ewww..."

[sailor]

as shirley phelps roper: why put a fence around the pool? god might want to kill a kid and we put a fence in the way!

[PapaBear]

Eli Manning does not want to be a quarterback in the National Football League. It's time his dad and his brother let that boy go do what he wants to do, and that's dance.

[PapaBear]

To Earl...

You're making me want to vote for Hillary, if for no other reason, than to hurt your feelings.

[TrevorDodds]

Mr. B - Billy you know that "War of the Worlds" isn't a documentary, it's a movie

Staples - What?

[Cleophus James]

Fez in glass box
Ron- 'Fez is now a collectible'

[Cleophus James]

Fez in glass box.
Ron- 'If you want to pass gas and wear socks in here, feel free'

[ralphbxny]

My dream is to someday have these third world countries become second world...cause I dont want them passing us!!

[DiabloSammich]

"Earl, you're the loneliest guy I know. You'd be the Maytag Repairman if they ever started hiring blacks."

[drjoek]

Eating pussy

Ive never seen a man or woman who gone down there and came back up and said thats not for me

[Badinia]

On Earl's appearance:

"You look like Rerun Columbine."

[midwestjeff]

What would Die Hard do?

[TrevorDodds]

so let's say an older man is dating a younger woman. would he still be able to get an erection? - in reference to ron's hilarious recolection of his question asking in school.

[Recyclerz]

Earl, all you Black guys are going to get your day in court.

[Doogie]

Dave: "The warm up act doesnt tell people to stay in their seats."

Ron: "They do for Neil Young."

:clap:

[PapaBear]

Fucking Pele' plays kickball!

[underdog]

Ron : Why don't you go out with Earl's family?
Pitz : I can't be seen with them.
Ron : You can steal radios.

[Marc with a c]

you should be on americas got herpes

[sailor]

from the bis ass bash, during the main event the crowd starts chanting "faggot! faggot!" ron quips "looks like the audience has spotted fez."

[drjoek]

From replay

My dad had the 9 taken off our phone so we couldnt call 911 He said we deal with stuff ourselves

[Landblast]

..well, a true "eye for an eye" would be for you to knock my eye out, then I would then take your eye out...

[Landblast]

on being shot as a death penalty

..my last words would be,..don't shoot my balls...

[Landblast]

to Dave on a guillotine

...why dont we have your head cut off and then make you smell your own asshole....

[Landblast]

on presidential elections

...Earls votes by skin color,..I vote for white males, so far its worked out perfectly..

[Mullenax]

to Riki Lake: <p>
"Darlin', I'm more than a man."
<p>I got goosebumps!

[MadMatt]

On Beanie giving Casey lingerie for Christmas:

"Here whore. Wear your whore clothes, you whore."

Sorry Casey, but I laughed out loud at that.

[Landblast]

On Beanie giving Casey lingerie for Christmas:

"Here whore. Wear your whore clothes, you whore."

Sorry Casey, but I laughed out loud at that.

and later to Lilly when she started to say she recieved something like that..

...and what,..she buy you a whore costume?...

[Landblast]

to Dave on women getting out and voting in huge numbers

...and they know dates,...how many times have you gotten drunk and forgot it was election day....

[foodcourtdruide]

Dave: JD Salinger is my favorite short story writer of all time.
Ron: I'll call Ray Bradbury and tell him the bad news.

[Recyclerz]

Fez: I can't wait for the Slaveboy bit to be over.

Ron: Yeah, you and the listeners.

[DiabloSammich]

Fez: I can't wait for the Slaveboy bit to be over.

Ron: Yeah, you and the listeners.


Do me a favor. Post that 3,000 more times so Ronnie mentions us. Thanks!

[Freakshow]

Dave: I got the worst rejection letter from NYU film school
Ron: What? 'we don't take retards.'

[nassue]

There's a shitstorm coming and I'm telling you people they don't make umbrellas for shit

[Recyclerz]

"You've changed."

[underdog]

This belongs here because of the delivery :

Lily : But once you hit that thirty, its like you gotta really clean up your act... especially if you're having a baby.

[EddieMoscone]

Responsing to Dave talking about his poetry log:

"Log, Like in shit? Cause that's probably what it is."

[Marc with a c]

ask them to add six extra stitches, you want to get that snatch tighter than a wes anderson suit.

[drjoek]

"You've changed."

QFT

[AlabamaMan]

Is this LIVE?

[silas]

Is this LIVE?


IIRC, they opened the surprise taped insert by saying it's ~5:30pm Friday.

[ArecWithABigA]

See in your religion you don't need calenders...so that's different

[ArecWithABigA]

Tell him that this weekend we will shut off the station and stalk and kill all the listeners.

[barjockey]

"shake the hand that shook the world"

[TooLowBrow]

"shake the hand that shook the world"

every single time

[PapaBear]

Ron to Dave: Did you sleep next to your GI Joe you fucking fruit?

Dave: I had a Cabbage Patch Kid dressed in a Yankee uniform, and I named him Ricky, after Ricky Henderson.

Ron: That's fucking adorable, you little fag.

[Freakshow]

I think the rest of that was just as funny--dave saying none of his dolls had pants etc...

Dave: She calls them fairy tales, I don't appreciate that, cause it's when my savior was arrisen.
Ron: Zombie Jesus?

[Landblast]

to Fez on him not liking the act of smoking a cigar

...is it odd for you to put something in your mouth like that without cum coming out?...

[HBox]

Pitz: Fuck my tits.

Ron: Well they're big enough.

[HBox]

This is the kind of weather your grandpa dies in.

[Recyclerz]

Ron: Earl, what would you do if Obama died?

Earl: I wouldn't be able to talk. I wouldn't be able to function.

Ron: Well...

[Doogie]

"He's taking what hair he has left and ombing it upwards...yeah that works"

[TheArchies]

Ron"thats like asking what are the good and bad points about syphilis?"

[Doogie]

"Ahhh, A big Fez. He wants to blow a three year old. A big Fez!!!"

[Landblast]

"sugar whore"

[Landblast]

...so you believe in a at home bagel birth?,...

[Landblast]

Lilly: ...i think I'm very well rounded....

R: ..well, your ass is...

[Landblast]

on Patti's limited geographical travels

...her map of the world is a subway map..and the ends are burned off...

[Landblast]

on Patti describing her pink bowling shoes

...hmm, I don't know what to say back to that...i could only wish we were not talking..

[Matty from the Nati]

When Bronx Johnnie said his GF's uncle's name is simular to his:
Ron "What's his name? Bronx Steve?" :lol:

[ArecWithABigA]

I'm not the type of person who should hold anyone's fate

[ArecWithABigA]

I tell you this much...if it's a drug dealer he walks

[Landblast]

on Dave saying people who are world travelers are cool

...if thats the case,..every stewerdess in the world is fucking Fonzi!!....

[drjoek]

My Dream job would be to kill all of you three.

[Landblast]

Earl on if he was to ever hook up with the Brazilian girl

E: ....you,..you could not wipe the smile off my face,.....
R: ...I would like to wipe the chicken crumbs off your face.....

[tonedef04]

i would stalk and kill the three of you. and earl, you die last so you watch these 2 suffer for what you fucking did

[Marc with a c]

you know that guy with the money and the cashews? he's a dickhead

[tonedef04]

Mr B had 3 great lines today..

3. Look at me, I'm a fucking fire truck!

2. I'd chew my leg off to smell that pussy

1. I'm jacking to Lilly right now under the console

[ArecWithABigA]

Wait Fez has fans...I thought everyone just tolerated you.

You know (because he cries alot).

[landarch]

"I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers"

Gotta love it.

[ArecWithABigA]

R: Let's all picture your brother takin it in the ase

Dave: oh I don't want to...

R: Well he does doesn't he?

[tonedef04]

a few of Mr B's best lines today.....

what are you 4? you take fucking oreos to work.

my theory is...you have a black man hanging over your head.

can we all agree it's delicious??

[ArecWithABigA]

R: Hear, read this and see if it helps

F: Ok that just says you're retarted

R: See, now it's not your fault!

[A.J.]

"Monkeys will attack you...especially if there's more than one."

[flatterfit]

ron: There's nothing hotter than a little christian girl!

[underdog]

Ron (to Dave) : I know that if you are naked with a porcupine, you'll end up blowing it.

[flatterfit]

Ron to ESD: I wonder if your unborn baby is ashamed of you yet?:devil2:

[flatterfit]

ron: Alright Methadone chair, I'll see you next Friday:smoke:

[dino_electropolis]

"The only kinda coke problem is the running out of coke problem"

so funny...so true.

[Badinia]

"Velvet Golmine- you got to see Batman screwin' Obi-Wan Kenobi! Who doesn't wanna see that?"

[Landblast]

"throwback masturbator"

[drjoek]

I wonder if your unborn baby is ashamed of you yet?

[tonedef04]

lilly to ron: "but it's radio"

ron: "so what i have eyes"

or this on elisha mannings throwing capabilities

"it's like a rainbow. seriously, a 6 yard throw, and he puts an arc on it"

[Freakshow]

You know what people around the country called the Giants? The Jew York Jewants.

[Heather 8]

After Dave said "quelches" instead of "squelches":

"We're droppin' s's, all right, 'hithead?

[ArecWithABigA]

Regardless of the outcome of the game this line was great in the moment...

HULKAMANIA IS DEAD...HULKAMANIA IS DEAD!!!

[ArecWithABigA]

E: I'm trade bait?

R: No Earl you are'nt trade bait. Trade bait brings people in. You are the fucking bomb I stick in the bag so when he leaves with my money it fucking explodes.

[tonedef04]

"steven tyler would smoke a cock for applause"

or

"i don't think he understands. that's the beautiful thing about autism."

[drjoek]

'hithead

[ArecWithABigA]

(Eli to his brother Peyton)

Ron: Yeah I know, I fuckin exactly know!

[ArecWithABigA]

I don't know about you but this is the worst fuckin show I've ever heard

[IamPixie]

"It's like dropping a hot dog in the grand canyon" :lol::lol::lol::lol:

[A.J.]

"Blowhard, you've seen all the elections going back to Hoover..."

[dino_electropolis]

"i understand, your dog gets shot - cry for 2 minutes."

ronnie at his most sensitive

[ralphbxny]

If Obama wins we should change our names to Nigeria!

[dino_electropolis]

Not recognizing Alaska or Hawaii
"you wanna be a state, touch a state"

[tonedef04]

i really wouldn't mind openin' up a club called Big Un's

[Cleophus James]

Ron - "I know you didn't get off the highway down south Earl. Because you made it back."

[Hepcat22]

Dave: "I think there are some."

Ron: "Can I eat em?"

[Recyclerz]

Teacher to Young Ron: How many grandmothers do you have?

Young Ron: I'll tell you what, less than I started the year with.
Now give me a D and let's let the system do what it does, move me along.

[tonedef04]

Ron as young Earl

N E W, hold please.

[ArecWithABigA]

Boduboop boduboop bodoboop...I wish that Munie was still alive playing records so I could be there every day away from Ron and Fez

[midwestjeff]

On pregnant women loving to give head:

"They don't love to, they just don't want you to leave."

[DOHO@HOME]

Buttlick

[midwestjeff]

I didn't go to Emerson, but I went to Lake and Palmer.

[ralphbxny]

I didnt go to Emerson...but I went to Lake and Palmer!

[ralphbxny]

I didn't go to Emerson, but I went to Lake and Palmer.

Jinx

[Drunky McBetidont]

"it's great to see that one of the kids from the neighborhood made it." referring to nicole adkins coming from esd home town of east lake new jersey

[midwestjeff]

Maybe you were molested.--to Nicole Atkins when she said she only had a few memories from grammar school.

[A.J.]

"Dave you're doing all right. By the way, get me some more water."

[tonedef04]

"i'd vote for Stalin for $10,000."

[dino_electropolis]

Fez: If you could have one taste for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Ron: Hoagie.

[tommyzman]

RB on 2.12.08 -

"You cannot come between a man and his pussy."

[tommyzman]

RB on 2.12.08 -

"A chick's vagina is like a hockey net."

[tonedef04]

fez: "if you could have sex with the entire cast of a movie, which movie would you pick.?"

ron: "Willy Wonka"

[tonedef04]

"i might be living the next 4 years in blackface anyway"

[Hepcat22]

"If he's elected I guarantee you that two weeks after he takes office he'll drop that and say, "I'm sorry but,... No We Can't.""

[dino_electropolis]

On the month of March:

Ronnie: "well, it comes in like a lion and out like a lamb."
ESD: Like the saying....
Ronnie: "What saying?"

[tonedef04]

"death is like kool-aid when you're in africa"

[Reynolds]

What are you, a lightning maniac?

[ralphbxny]

On O&A:

After Ronnie Coughs:

Opie-Did you just do a line Ron?
Ron B.-A real thick one...I like to call it my morning Cappucino!

[DiabloSammich]

Fez: I got an email from Blowhard that said "The constant Fez-bashing has got to stop."

Ron: Is that right, fuckface?


The speed that this came out was frightening.

[A.J.]

(On the Obama plagarism issue) "It's another black guy sampling."

[A.J.]

"This is the worst bachelor party I've ever been to."

[tonedef04]

"you might as well buy fucking rims earl"

[tonedef04]

"well, i can't say the kind of rich that earl is"

[outlawfrank]

Ron: Its not a bachelor party until someone gets choked; until someone gets choked by a black man it's not a bachelor party.

[outlawfrank]

Ron about Paul O: Put some wet towels around him before you roll him back into the ocean.

[Marc with a c]

the best part of that movie is when the chef came in ETs face

[tonedef04]

"does he realize, when i see him, i will kick him till he's dead?"

[MikeB]

the best part of that movie is when the chef came in ETs face
was that something he said or did you mix this up with some viewing thread.

[MikeB]

N-e-w Peas Hode

[PapaBear]

was that something he said or did you mix this up with some viewing thread.
It's an actual Ron line. And it was funny as shit.

[BrownTown]

It's a few days late, but:

"Gap is like Ratatouille, but for children."

[A.J.]

Frenchy: "If I had another baby it would be a Mafia Life Chris Baby."
Ron: "You could name it Unity."

[jauble]

to Lenay "You could be a fluff girl"

[JerseySean]

To Lenay

"I think you should do a show about pre-teen pregnancy, balimia and cutting"

[Dingbat_Charlie]

"I won't even date the un-scarred"

[ArecWithABigA]

(to Lenay D)
Be careful one of them might be our next President

I hope it's Earl

N-E-W Peas Hode

[ArecWithABigA]

Lenay D: That sounds like a dumb job

R: Yeah, that's what happens when you aren't born with a penis sweetheart...

[TheGameHHH]

Frenchy: "No, if I had a new baby it would be a Mafia Life Chris Baby"

Ron: "You can name that baby Unity."

[barjockey]

RON: Did Jew know?

[A.J.]

Frenchy: "If I had another baby it would be a Mafia Life Chris Baby."
Ron: "You could name it Unity."

Frenchy: "No, if I had a new baby it would be a Mafia Life Chris Baby"

Ron: "You can name that baby Unity."

So nice, it was posted twice.

That one did catch me off guard and I cackled.

[nassue]

"Earl's indian name would be runs with TV"

[cyrogyro]

from today's show:

"..supposed fez's mom got raped..' obviously it's a rapist that doesn't care about looks..."

[jauble]

about earl: He is Amos and Andy Warhol

[tonedef04]

ron: "earl, would go to matchcock.com?"

earl: "no"

ron: "earl, would you date a white man?"

earl: "no"

ron: "you're a fucking homo racist, earl"

[biggie]

"For a $1000 that crib should be made out of pussy and coke"

[drjoek]

" for 1000 that crib should be made out of pussy and cocaine"

bonk

[drjoek]

"You know why?
Jesus is way cool"

[ArecWithABigA]

R: Don't sit there and say anything wrong about Otis Redding. I will jump over this counsel and bite your throat.

[ArecWithABigA]

Me: I've been sleeping with my neighbor for a few weeks now...

R: What's his name?

[ArecWithABigA]

R: She wants to fuck but not go out?

Me: Yeah exactly.

R: Is she married?

Me: No, I don't think she's married.

R: Then you've got to be hideous. The fucking fact that she'll fucking blow you but doesn't want to go to Burger King. You've got to be the ugliest guy ever.

Too True!

[SouthSideJohnny]

From yesterday - talking with the female caller about squirting:

This woman will do it if she has a great sandwich.

(There was a follow-up line about horseradish but I couldn't hear it since I was laughing from the first line)

[DOHO@HOME]

If Anything Goes Wrong Just Say Harry Is Going To Be Late He'll Know What You Mean.

[tonedef04]

"do me a favor. don't ever bring up my name to jesus again."

[ArecWithABigA]

The Baha Men have brought more pain to this country then AIDS.

More people have recovered from AIDS then the Baha Men.

[DOHO@HOME]

Suite mates Are When Your Licking Each Others Balls.

[DOHO@HOME]

Ron :earl wasn't breast feed he was nut feed.
Fezzie: his father had a nursing jock strap

[Lurk]

Ronnie B to Earl - "If you're so good at building, why do you still have stick houses over in Africa?"

[A.J.]

"Fandick is now a Mean Girl."

[tonedef04]

i'm embarrassed by all of you. and when i say all of you, i mean the planet. i am embarrassed by planet earth.

[DoubleJ]

Ron :earl wasn't breast feed he was nut feed.
Fezzie: his father had a nursing jock strap

It seems like this one belongs in Fez's Line of the Day.

[Sweet_Ness]

"Like a douche-bag to a microphone"

[colorange]

R: "ever have her dress up like R2D2 and then put it in her can?"