Ron's Line Of The Day (LOTD)

[Furtherman]

Fez: I think that was a TV show, Ron.
Ron: I think you're a fucking TV show. That's what I think a TV show is.

[jauble]

little bear scalples (on why bears cant perform abortions)

[DOHO@HOME]

Watching Movies At School:
Ron:it Was 4th Or 5th Grade And The Teacher Comes By And Said Ah Ron I Know Your Enjoying This But You Can't Smoke In Here.
Oh I'm Trying To Relax.

[TooLowBrow]

to lenay
"do you ride the bus to school or bring your lunch?'

[tonedef04]

to pitzy

"this is why you're not invited to Florio's today. because they have a sign that says "No shirt, No shoes, No shitbreath."

[midwestjeff]

Maybe it was the acid, but the monkeys looked incredibly sad to me.

[ArecWithABigA]

R: What is it a registry?

F: Yeah it's called a registry.

R: Then why the fuck do I need you ever. I know everything.

[ArecWithABigA]

Trust me if I was out there with those dolphins they'd try to eat me...or fuck me

[ArecWithABigA]

I'll fuckin crush you on 18 dollar cigars alone

[A.J.]

Fez: "What's the place you'd lose it at for bad customer service?"

Ron: "Whorehouse. I don't like to get bit."

[Landblast]

..that's an interesting question, when a woman wears heels, and make-up, is that a lie?.. I don't know,..

I mean, if a man wore lifts, you'd think he was a psychopath!..

[Landblast]

on Fez talking too loud in a cab w/ Ron

F: ..I lose the ability to hear myself..
R: I'd love to lose the ability to hear yourself...

[tonedef04]

when earl was a kid and there was a blackout in new york city, his mom would wake him, and say "time to go shopping"

[Cigar Sid]

On being sick.

My chick says to me "Fez takes off two weeks everytime he gets a Pap Smear."

[Cigar Sid]

To East Side Dave-

You know what I'd like you to listen to... The Ron and Fez Show.

[drjoek]

"Dropping the ball is what the Ron and Fez show does..."

[Serpico1103]

"end up in Jersey with four red headed sons, one gay"

[tonedef04]

he's no dick and all balls. he's got an angry inch

[midwestjeff]

I'm aready getting therapy...from your mother's cunt.

[ArecWithABigA]

And then I remembered my wallet was in my coat.

[ArecWithABigA]

(when Dave's papers ended up in front of Ron)

R: Now what if I would have read your hack bit and all of the sudden thought I wasn't funny anymore

[underdog]

Talking about Dave and Casey :

Ron : "She's married to Evel Ke-Stupid."

[Clinton Bigsby]

when earl was a kid and there was a blackout in new york city, his mom would wake him, and say "time to go shopping"

Oh my fucking god I wish I had heard that live. That's amazing.:lol:

[drjoek]

We're here at the corner of 57th and bad radio

[drjoek]

You girls are Bolivian? I think I put you through school.

[tonedef04]

to ESD

"let me ask you something. after you fucked yourself with a shampoo bottle, did you follow up with conditioner?"

[Matty from the Nati]

Ronnie had a million of them yesterday but here are a couple when Fezdust was out in the streets.

"In Oklahoma, this would make front page in the paper but here in NY peoplewould say 'get that fag with the gold face outta my way or I'll blast him'"

-and-

We are meeting a lot of people we beat in the wars. It's like meeting the jobbers.

[ralphbxny]

Fuck a redneck was an indian tribe from eastern PA!

[jonyrotn]

John McCain and pray for rain..

[tonedef04]

stover: "i got a friend at Harvard. A black woman.

ron: "that can't be right. It must be Harvey!"

[Serpico1103]

Ron- "so Stern has his own radio show?...hmmm"

[ralphbxny]

The number one killer in Africa and America....blacks!

[ralphbxny]

Jesus even tho your not real please do something for Earl so he can get a black president!

[DOHO@HOME]

Ron talking to Lilly about her sister: get her a fish on Friday guy.
Anytime Ron talks about growing up=radio gold:lol::lol:
Ron to Fez about his therapist:she should be showing you her vagina saying don't be scared stay with it.

[fezshog]

in regards to giant lobster vs rhino:

'are they on land or in warm buter?'

and one from last week in regards to daves baby:

'for a thousand dollars that crib better be made of pussy and coke'

[underdog]

Ron : Speaking of talking dinosaurs, here's Fez Whatley.

[Recyclerz]

To a caller named Matt:

Welcome, Matt!

[tonedef04]

from tuesdee's show

"you should've watched cartoons about how not to cum in women, ya fucking idiot"

[Landblast]

..you'll need a real precise knife to stab Fez Whatley in his balls..

[Marc with a c]

there'a no 'i' in funeral

[ralphbxny]

I will tell you what the ladies bought to the show today, 4 breasts and 2 great asses!

[LillChien]

In regard to “Fez’s Late Announcements”…

Caller Nate: “ I have a new announcement… Jesus Christ has risen from the dead.”

Ron: “ Oh has he Fez… HAPPY EASTER, HAPPY EASTER! It’s the first Easter, I’m so excited Fez.”

[IamFogHat]

About Earl: "You're the black Powder."

[realmenhatelife]

To Lilly:

You put baby powder in your hair? Why, to look like George Washington?

[Badinia]

On his partner:

"He's GAY! A man can't trim his beard that much and still have time to love!"

[DOHO@HOME]

E mails beat she mails everytime:clap:

[tonedef04]

from thursdee's show when talking about AA meetings involving celebs

"my name is Ron, i'm an alchoholic, and i really enjoy your work"

from fridee when lilly talked about becoming a hewer

"so 2 grand for skull. you know we can all get the same thing from fez for $13.95"

[Texasfan]

from the 12th

"theres always a place for shrimp"

[drjoek]

Who knew one of our founding fathers was Harvey Pekar

[LillChien]

March 14, 2008

Fez: "Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosey

Ron: "Your Ass Is Loosey Goosey."

[MadMatt]

"Here's hoping you get cowbelled an hour before the Devil knows you've been cowbelled."

:lol::clap::lol:

Ron's brilliant twist on an old Irish proverb (after cowbelling Dave near the end of the St. Patrick's Day show).

[Drunky McBetidont]

last week


caller "gorrilla"
ronnie "now i'm starvin, earl, do we have any... your relatives back there?"

[Landblast]

Ron on seeing on the tv rows and rows of police officers in the St Patty's parade

...look at em all, somewhere down there there's Blowhard with a little hankerchief, waving at 'em......boo hoo,..hooo,...hooo


:lol:

[tonedef04]

from friday the 14th

"i bet you've been fisted all the way up to the shoulder"

[tonedef04]

dave: "we're the front street boys"

ron: "what does that mean? you go dick to dick"

moments later after dave and pitzy sing

ron: "that was like listening to cats fucking"

[ArecWithABigA]

(Who could be #8 on Dave's love list)
D: Now I know this is going to be a shocker...but my Dad

R: I was really ready to hear Carl Reiner

[dino_electropolis]

No one who is high class ever used the term phrase "high class"...

[fleshysilo]

"Earl your peoples biggest invention has been peanut butter, now it's killing little white kids.......I have to ask my kids, You want a African poison and jelly sandwich?"

[IamPixie]

edit: I should read before I post.

[tonedef04]

ronnie had a million lines today. here are my faves

to earl about phyllis diller:

ron: even oral

earl: yeah

ron: it would be like opening a pack of hershey's chocolate powder. just.....POOOOFFFF

to pitzy:

ron: so you wouldn't bang a junkie?

pitzy: no

ron: i couldn't live your life

[tommyzman]

March 20...

About the Olsen Twins:

"I'd fuck those two little Spider Monkeys in a heartbeat."

[AnnoyedGrunt]

"Cap'n Crunch has a more together crew than I do. "

[boobieman]

"Cap'n Crunch has a more together crew than I do. "

One of the best lines ever said..EVER...I love that line.

SEEE YYAA

[A.J.]

"I haven't said this since '74...but it's a DEEP Purple."

[Judge Smails]

Toilet paper. That's what seperates us from the Muslims.

[SouthSideJohnny]

I'm a few days behind on my shows:

From 3/21 - The last thing I want to do when gacked up is eat a carp.

[SouthSideJohnny]

From 03/21 - A hot chick acting like a retarded girl is every guy's dream.

[dino_electropolis]

"Cap'n Crunch has a more together crew than I do. "

HAAAAa...never heard this one, but i can hear it in my head......fkn ronnie, man.

[drjoek]

"dave puts things in his ass and eats shit... we are underground; you can't be seen by the normal people"

[drjoek]

Youre like taking a hayseed to get a tooth pulled

[Gvac]

Regarding The Ron And Fez Show - "I'll shut this fucker down tomorrow. You think I need this? I made more money in high school than I do now."

[tonedef04]

on earls antics in church

"i believe you're in there banging on those bongos like a chimp"

and from last friday when earl confessed he was a virgin until his 30's

"these are not sins you bit breaking idiot"

[drjoek]

When talking about the midget suing Mc Donalds

You know what I would have done Id have given him a free Small fry

[ArecWithABigA]

A lot of times when you leave a woman you gotta go like this…
I’m with a new woman and problem is she cums so fucking quickly and she makes me feel like such a man that it’s difficult to be with her. Believe me I miss you because my cock fucking aches from her tight pussy. It’s like a rubberband around my dick.

[tonedef04]

fez: "is there one thing in your life that you wish you could master?"

ron: "bate"

or

ron: "yeah i speak chinese. ching chong chiinggg a choppy choppy!!"

[oldladyfacepuncher]

"Earl, did you ever say a prayer to Jesus to turn the lights on inside of you?"

[tonedef04]

still bass are ya number 3?

or

careful with your stints number 3

[tonedef04]

fez: "you're talkin' about my neices. one's 6 and the other's 1."

ron: "she looked 2 to me. and she dances like a 3 year old."

[IamFogHat]

"Fuckin' Star Wars bar scene, the people we hang out with."

[tonedef04]

you look like G.I. Sheepy

[IamFogHat]

On Sheepy, who thought they were talking about haircuts: "It'd be the only trim you ever got in your life."

[tonedef04]

She Knocked His Cock Out!!!! She Knocked His Cock Out!!!!

[puppyPirate]

Sheepy (regarding not finishing): I don't know; I think I have to be more comfortable..
Ron: What is more comfortable than having your dick in someone's mouth? ... That beat's an easy chair.

[A.J.]

MLC: "I caught a little heat on RonFez.Net yesterday."

Ron: "What happened -- you said you liked The Doors?"

[tonedef04]

on watching your child being born:

"yeah, it's nice, but i don't know if it's as nice as being with 2 asian chicks."

[tonedef04]

to Big A: "is your tongue thinner?"

commenting on earl's pics, most likely an alternate shot of lilly: "if anything, i'd call this shot "Pooch, there it is!""

[tonedef04]

"i'd like to eat a seahorse just to see if they're as crunchy as they seem"

[ronfezoxfan]

greetings from a new member, this is from way back in the beginning of the xm days that made me a fan forever. they are talking about getting lunch and Ron orders a cheeseburger and they forgot the cheese, Fez: why didn't you just send it back? Ron: that fuckin' burger ain't going no where, i don't want some guy rubbin' his balls on my cheese!

[Bob Impact]

greetings from a new member, this is from way back in the beginning of the xm days that made me a fan forever. they are talking about getting lunch and Ron orders a cheeseburger and they forgot the cheese, Fez: why didn't you just send it back? Ron: that fuckin' burger ain't going no where, i don't want some guy rubbin' his balls on my cheese!

Nice first post. :thumbup:

[realmenhatelife]

fez just had a great one:
dave- what was your first job?

Fez- Hand.

[EliSnow]

fez just had a great one:
dave- what was your first job?

Fez- Hand.

Should probably go in a thread about Fez's line of the day. Like this one. (http://www.ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=54326&highlight=line+of+the+day)

[realmenhatelife]

Should probably go in a thread about Fez's line of the day. Like this one. (http://www.ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=54326&highlight=line+of+the+day)

I totally knew there was a fez thread but I didn't look for it, I'm at work.

[tonedef04]

ron: "can you say that one more time?"

lilly: "you like that daddy"

ron: "ok, and isolate"

[TjM]

"I can't believe they gave you a diploma"

[TjM]

Dave: "I thought I was going to follow my gay brother"

Ron: "Yeah you did, with sticking stuff up your ass"

[tonedef04]

on charlton heston's death: "they never said what happened to him. did a chariot accident finally get to him?"

[kegbuna]

While doing a live read for some sort of diet/energy pill:

"This stuff is amazing Fezzy. Am I going to say that I can see into the future? No, Fez. That's crazy talk. But, I can HEAR into the future."

[tonedef04]

caller: " I had breast cancer 2 years ago...

ron: " how's the other one doing?"

[epo]

"I'd rather eat you out than cuddle you." - Ronnie to Crazy Jen after Jen claims that cuddling is a part of friendship.

[hurtz2pee]

My first post! i stink.

A couple of weeks ago...

The guys were talking about evolution....

Ron: "Earl, how can you NOT believe in evolution? Your people fell out of trees like 12 years ago!"

[TheGameHHH]

Fez: (yelling at the staff regarding Unmasked) "I'm really proud of my friend's work."

Ron: "It's not that big of a deal. It's not even a good show."

[Sweet_Ness]

"If someone sends Sheepy to a mic again-I'm diggin out an eyeball"

[tonedef04]

we have a thing on this show called "point, yeah I like your point"

[A.J.]

About Lily's picture:

"She looks like a retard waiting for the bus"

"You should have called this picture 'The Other Sister'."

[tonedef04]

on lily: "she's got legs like train smoke, earl. they just go on and on

[tonedef04]

to earl: "have you ever had great sex?"

earl: "yes"

ron: "that's a fucking lie!!!"

[Hepcat22]

From a few weels ago, Fez was freaking out about going into a treatment center where he might be drugged...and shackled.

Ron: "Drugs and shackles? I used to call that, "Thursdays"".

[A.J.]

Shirley Phelps Roper: "We're going to protest at St. Joseph's Church..."

Ron: "They make those little aspirins."

[Marc with a c]

earl did chocolate rain for an hour and a half one saturday

[Sweet_Ness]

I don't think this is word for word so forgive me....
"This room isn't big enough, so you are gonna play the echo?"

[Drunky McBetidont]

earl - If worse comes to worse ...
r.b. - Worse came to worse, and its name is Earl Douglas.

[tonedef04]

they got bibles everywhere Fezzy. just let me know, they hand 'em out free at hotels.

[tonedef04]

on dreaming about other lives/careers he could have: "i never fail. i always succeed, except at...well...my own radio show, which has become a big faildozer"

[tonedef04]

"the last thing you wanna be doing on acid is chores"

[tonedef04]

from todays best of when they were talking about a sex doll that costs $5000: "fezzy, you wanna split one and we'll just hose it out when we're done?"

[drjoek]

Dave sticking his tongue out

You look like the 18th hole on a minature golf course

[Donnie Iris]

On Fez's Grandfather in heaven in response to his Grandmother sleeping around...

"..so what? He's probably up there fucking an Aztec.." short pause ".. maybe a Mayan"

[ADF]

These are good Sumerians.

[midwestjeff]

If you fuckin' knew the side effects of a pork chop, you'd be sad.

[tonedef04]

on fezzy, who said he hallucinated his dead grandma was marrying a Steve in heaven: "from Bayshore"

[A.J.]

"I think the State Bird of New York is literally The Middle Finger."

[Sweet_Ness]

"You make me miss qualudes"

[Freakshow]

Earl, i'm starvin'. We got any food chains back there?

[tonedef04]

from tuesday's show: "earl, there is literally one black guy in canada. and you know what they call him? this is no joke.....snowball"

[hexy68]

from Wed show (about the election)..."PA is the south with scrapple and hoagies"

[tonedef04]

"I don't like to be seen as a guy giving children money"

[tonedef04]

on OnA today: "can you believe the nerve of someone to write a selfhelp book. it's like, hey, i know everything, so i'm gonna solve the worlds problems. and it's all crap like, hey, you gotta get up earlier and take a walk."

[ArecWithABigA]

I had to stay up with this weepity cream filled faggot at 4:30 in the morning.

[A.J.]

On Crazed trying to play "Axel F": "I like it better with THESE notes."

[tonedef04]

maybe you oughta just end up gettin AHHH BIGG AAAIIDDSSSSS!!!

[ArecWithABigA]

I had to stay up with this weepity cream filled faggot at 4:30 in the morning.

Weepity Faggity Filling...my bad

[Furtherman]

"Everyone in this country grew up in a crazy church."

[Badinia]

On wished-for McCain campaign promises:

"If elected, I will nuke the oceans and the squids will NEVER get into the trees!"

[JohnnyOnTheRocks]

"whats on that un-chicken sandwich fuckin turkey ?" RON IS A GOD

[tonedef04]

to earl: "would you do this....for $20 million, would you go to africa. cuz, i can make some calls."

[tonedef04]

on girl being carried around bases by opposiong team, and fezzy saying he shed a tear over it: "i would cry to if i had money on that game!"

[tonedef04]

"i believe that was Killer "the dragon" Kowalski. i love it when the laughs just get smaller and smaller. i'm trying to teach everyone about diminishing reslults."

[barjockey]

liz: hey guys how are you?

ron: one of us is great the other is going into a mental institution:tongue:

[drjoek]

During Get Fez out of the Funk with Funk

Caller: How you doing?
Ron Kool and the Gang .......
Earl we need some Kool and the Gang

[tonedef04]

no, its "paint it, comma, black." PAINT IT, BLACK!!!!

[MadMatt]

no, its "paint it, comma, black." PAINT IT, BLACK!!!!

The best part of that line was the delivery. I didn't want to laugh, but I had to. :lol:

[westcoastdago]

This one is from an old show when they talked about what position Jesus would play if he played sports.

Ron: "I think he would be a center fielder, and I will tell you something else my friend, it would be were triples go to die."

[FarBeyondDarren]

On the look of Speed Racer:

"It's like having Skittles jizz in your face."

[colorange]

popcorn ron: "Looks like you can use an iron, man!"

[CardiffGiant]

On the look of Speed Racer:

"It's like having Skittles jizz in your face."

that would be my choice too, i started laughing hysterically when he said that and my coworkers just gave me this odd look since I was wearing headphones.

[tonedef04]

"that's because they didn't hit her with the pussy spreader yet."

or

"blame that apple eatin' bitch, not us!"

[Marc with a c]

east side: nobody runs from first base to the pitchers mound.

ronnie: in fez's kickball league they do

[tonedef04]

"for those about to christian rock, i salute you"

"let me tell ya sometin', you see a girl fucking a lawnmower, and you get a hardon"

"that's when i said, this coke is devil dust!"

"i'll eat fig too, cuz it reminds me of pussy"

so many great lines today, just pick your favorite

[CardiffGiant]

Have to say today's for me was Ron's line about the Republican's should run rims as their candidate against Obama.

[Landblast]

on title of Earl's book

"Eggplant Can Love"

[tonedef04]

"GLADIATOR!!! and she didn't mind either."
or
to dave: "maybe she got so scared of darth vader, you came out a retard."
or
to fezzy: "is it deja vu, or are you farting?"
or
caller: "how you doing guys?"

ron: "none of your business derek"

[Landblast]

...oh, Ronnie doesn't like this, he likes church vegetables...

[Landblast]

on Obama

...I wouldn't let him drink a Coke if he was sitting next to the Clintons!...because it would be spiked!..

[Landblast]

on wax museums

..they have candles that look like Brad Pitt...

[Landblast]

..the thing about cows, their made 100% out of steak...

[Landblast]

on not wanting to sit just around people smoking cigars and talking about them

...when people ask me what are you smoking?..I say to them, I'm smoking my business!,..that's what I'm smoking....

[Landblast]

on Earl being kempt

...if you were kempt, you would cut off your dick..

[Landblast]

on Christopher Reeve

...I'd like to get every horse back for what he did to Superman...

[Landblast]

on Fez

...your eyes look beautiful..but that just means I hope they don't get poked out with a sharp stick...

[ibanez23]

Speaking about a seedy strip joint.
(I gave her a dollar.Then her water broke).

[jauble]

about Westside

"You were dating a stump with a purse." Im pretty sure that wasn't the exact line but I heard it in the car and laffed and laffed.

[tonedef04]

"gary cooper had a cock like a 12 year old girls leg. it even had a knee joint."

[tonedef04]

ron: "earl, your people were eatin spider monkey until 25 years ago."

fez: "1983?"

ron: "yeah, 1 boatride changed all that. earl, you got here just in time for Doc Gooden."

[tonedef04]

from monday

"by the way, Big A fisted his own ass on paltalk today. milly asked him to do it and he said "sshhh ssh sh sure"

[tonedef04]

"so wise, crazed one......"

[tonedef04]

to lily: "you grew up with music that sounds like someone's beating a cat with a tennis racket"

to earl: "earl, you ever said to her "it's time for the Black Cock Roalition?""

[tonedef04]

on apparent new black news channel: "they will have weather chicks with the biggest asses ever. they will literally be doin' the forecast on chicks asses."

[oneshortsleeve]

Talking about baby Julianna trying to fit in with Dave's red hair:

"I remember in the school yard saying this; 'Hey, he's got red hair. Let's kick him.'"

[ahhdurr]

It was the delivery:

"What the fuck are you looking at fuckstick?"

[Doom_Vulture]

Ron: Do you keep that baby on paltalk at all times?

ESD: As much as possible. Its an extra set of eyes. Daddy likes to drink on Fridays.

Ron: Well then I'll just cut/paste the baby away.

[realmenhatelife]

The Lost in America stuff is killing me

[tonedef04]

on Tatum oneal's being arrested for buying coke: "so she's buying it in the park like a...well, i can't say it because Earl's here."

to earl, while renegotiating the bet: "alright, now it's $275,000 and ya gotta hit your mother in the throat with baseball bat, and drink white cum for a year."

[tonedef04]

"wait, i got one. what about...Jizzweb?!"

[Furtherman]

I just fell out of my chair.


Fez: You're a strategist.

Ron: Oh yea? You're gay.

[tonedef04]

"ya know, God bless this Earl. He's the patron saint of indigestion."

[welcum2themachin]

this is the real hit king folks

fuck pete rose

[Doom_Vulture]

"The pope dresses like the new headmaster at Hogwarts"

[weekapaugjz]

dave and blowhard: dee dee dee de de de dah, dee dee de de dah...

ron: hold on, let me point and laugh at xm for getting paid!

:lol:

[CardiffGiant]

bunch of good one's today, i like the lyrics he added to the National Geographic song
"Look at the monkeys, and look at all of those bones"

[tonedef04]

deb: "you say dirty things sometimes, so they can't listen to you at molly's."

ron: "COCK!! how do ya like that, cupcake fans."

or

"earl. for you, what's your favorite animated movie? the jungle book?"

[FarBeyondDarren]

To Eastside Dave:

"You're the worst father since Chris Benoit."

[drjoek]

You couldn't get famous if you shot up Columbine

[drjoek]

While going through all the IM's/emails that were reviews of the Asexual love video

"Heres one: Hi Ron"

[FarBeyondDarren]

Ron on music:

"You know what? If you got a fuckin trombone in your band, you blow."

[CardiffGiant]

While going through all the IM's/emails that were reviews of the Asexual love video

"Heres one: Hi Ron"

I liked that one too. Just the way he read it was hilarious.

[FarBeyondDarren]

On Lenny Dykstra's steroid use:

"You could have broken a dog over his back, he was so fuckin ripped."

[Hottub]

Harry Elvis: (talking about his hickey) She used her tongue really well.
Ron: That's great. Grab her by the ears and move her south!

[MIKEYDAKEN]

one of MR. B's best lines ever during the OnA pinball fiasco at WNEW: I'm gonna havebeat up a hooker just to feel like a man again.

[Epschtein]

had me rollin' the other day doing the "crazy fez on O&A voice".

[MIKEYDAKEN]

on dust in the wind: everytime they sing this someone should hit him in the face with dirt

[tonedef04]

on people from the state of kansas at a party requesting music: "ya think they would be like, "hey, put, uh, put us on!"

[tonedef04]

from tuesday's show about lily's family: "that's one sexy muslim family"

[tonedef04]

from wednesday on a bratty ass kid: "i'd boil some hot water and throw it on him. cuz i think the only thing he's gonna understand is burns over 80% of his body."

today on fez bashing the jersey chicks in studio: "your gay bashing goes the other way. i bet those nipples are fantastic!! i bet those breasts are great!!

[landarch]

I loved hearing Ron going off on that bratty kid yesterday--

'I would be tying two boots together to hit that kid with"

[tonedef04]

ron: "you didn't know he invents dances? look out here comes the airplane! uh-oh watch out for the eagle!"

dave: "squaw-kaw, squaw-kaw"

fez: "squaw-kaw??"

ron calmly: "yes. squaw-kaw"

[PapaBear]

Describing the band in the "unsigned listener band" bit...

Elvis Costello Folds Five

[Freakshow]

Dave: I was like the guy from Unforgiven, drinking in the corner.
Ron: I wish you were the guy who got shot.

[weekapaugjz]

is matty married to sheepy?

:lol:

[ahhdurr]

Earl why are you jumping up and down like a monkey? :clap:

[tonedef04]

fez: "my beard's prematurely whitening..."

ron: "no, it's whitening right on time, poopdeck pappy"

[ralphbxny]

On Earl's free style rapping-

This would be great if I asked you to take attendence!

[RhinoinMN]

Dave about to get struck with the branding iron, he lifts his head to speak in the mic.

Ron - "Hey, lay your head down. You're still not funny."

[underdog]

Dave about to get struck with the branding iron, he lifts his head to speak in the mic.

Ron - "Hey, lay your head down. You're still not funny."

It wasn't even the line, it was Mr B's perfect delivery. It was so fucking perfect.

[tonedef04]

on dave's body: "your whole body looks like a soft cock."

[tonedef04]

patty: "that baby's adorable."

ron: "that's a dog."

[tonedef04]

to dave: "now stand up and let the doctor look at your clitoris."

to earl: "for you to say you can't get air through that fucking nose, it's a lie!"

[jlehane3]

I got my moneys :lol: worth and Earl got his :king: DREAM. http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a221/jlehane3/EarlW_20VicePres.jpg :smoke:

[docgoblin]

to dave: "now stand up and let the doctor look at your clitoris."

to earl: "for you to say you can't get air through that fucking nose, it's a lie!"

Don't forget this one:

Ron to Dave: Eczema... is that what you get from letting your dog lick your balls?

[ahhdurr]

<p>&quot;I don't think anyone in Philadelphia jacks off online, if anything they do it in front of a school like a gentileman.&quot;</p><p> </p><p>Ron LOTD </p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by FreshJ on 10-26-06 @ 11:22 PM</span>

Like a gentile who is a man?

[sailor]

on whether dave was cheating:

"you've done amazingly well...and you're stupid."

[tonedef04]

thoughts on a man being alone with a baby: "it would be like leaving a woman sitting alone with a shotgun in her lap."

on fez's refusal to fart in public: "i bet when you sit on the toilet at the end of the day, you let out a blast that's just frightening."

[calmtempest]

(from yesterday's show)

Ron: Pitz, we've got the Altered States of America...

not sure if this counts, but I dig it :)

[Marc with a c]

hey earl how does dave's ass taste?

[DolaMight]

"I wish you would take up the trumpet Earl, it would mean the world to me."

it worked for me

[CardiffGiant]

Ron "Wouldn't it be funny if your Dad's doorbell sounded like this [popcorn]"

that had me dying for a good 5 minutes.

[tonedef04]

from yesterday on pitzy's receding hairline: "what are you tryin to do? beat you hair to hte altar?"

[Cigar Sid]

After discharging a firearm out of his car window in the dark...

"I stopped the car and told my wife "listen did I hit a dear?" And all we heard was the sound of a baby crying. I said "let's get the fuck outta here." We were both laughing the whole time."

[Furtherman]

"I'm like a funny Toby Keith."

[Sweet_Ness]

this was from the other day when Pitzy announced his engagement

"I'm not going to sit through doot-ta-doot music"

[Edwin]

In response to a caller offering to buy Ronnie cigars if Pitzy wins EP:

"Fuck you and your Jersey offer"

[A.J.]

"Earl, where's your family from: Niger?"

(That one caught me off guard).

[CardiffGiant]

"Earl, where's your family from: Niger?"

(That one caught me off guard).

that was a damn good one.

[barrytheblade]

This is from quite a while ago...

After Earl said that Cleopatra was black and that Egypt was technically in Northern Africa...

"Earl, you consider Egyptians Africans? 'Cause I'll tell you this...they don't."

And a few minutes later...

Dave: "White people are go-getters."

Ron: "Well, we did invent getting up in the morning."

And a few minutes later...

Earl: "Black people invented...the stoplight...the comb."

Ron: "So if it wasn't for black people, we'd all be getting into car accidents?...with messy hair?"

I still laugh out loud when I think of that first one.

[tonedef04]

ron: "earl, ever been suicidal?"

earl: "no"

ron: "hhmmm, the 1 guy who should."

or this gem while talking to model who won't have sex until she's married: "so i couldn't wrap a strap-on around my shoe and kick you in the vagina?" seconds later : "could i watch you piss?"

[ahhdurr]

this is a paraphrase:

Ron: You know what I'd say if I were from Columbus, Ohio?
Caller: What?
Ron: I'd say 'Mom, stop crying. I'm gonna make us some money and I'm gonna move us all out of Columbus, Ohio'

[tonedef04]

i cant beleive no one has posted this yet

ron: "earl, do me a favor. let me put a pillow down the back of your pants and you walk around town telling people you're Kirby Puckett."

or this gem

ron to fez: "when you say imdb, is that "i munch dick balls?" "i know it doesnt make sense, but gimme something for coming up with it so quick."

[tonedef04]

"you know what a man should eat for dessert? STEAK!"
or
"i'll roll ya over and bang that bear ass"
or
"in hindsight, that crab-infested bitch may have had a mental problem"

[DiabloSammich]

From the RonFez photo gallery promo...

Ron - Hey Fez, here's a picture of you in a coffin!

Fez - When was that taken?

Ron - My guess is any day now.


I know it was pre-written, but damn was it delivered perfectly.

[drjoek]

Dave is talking about how he was beat up as a 14yo kid
"Id like to find that guy and buy him a sandwich"

[AnnoyedGrunt]

Ron: You know, as a guy who's fifty-something-

Fez: I am not fifty-something!

Ron: Your pants are...

[tonedef04]

on florida's panhandle: "if that panhandle was part of alabama, it would be like alabama's long island."

[RhinoinMN]

Dave sticking his finger in Fez's Asscrack

Ron - C'mon Dave check and see if the turkey is done.

[tonedef04]

to fez: "we better check your ballsack then. i bet it's just a rain forest under that old man sack."

[drjoek]

You guys have turned me into Dorothy"

[barjockey]

Fez do you eat chips? Yes. Double fat chips?:drunk:

[jauble]

You guys have turned me into Dorothy"

I was doing a little tear up laugh when he said that.

[A.J.]

"Earl, don't you have an aunt that lives across the street from XM in DC?"

[Dingbat_Charlie]

Earl following Dave out of the studio to find Scorsese: "that leaves Fez and I to have a conversation. what is this, 2003?"

sorry Fezzy, but that was funny.

[midwestjeff]

To a caller:

Kevin, if you bring up one more Katie Holmes' movie to me, I am going to come through the phones and start choking people.


Something like that.

[Oscar]

Ron: "Angelina is so fucking hot i'd fuck her while she was having her twins."

-or-

Lily: "We don't like it when you giz in our eyes."

Ron: "Yeah, but I can't stop laughing"


that had me for a good 6 mins.

[drjoek]

I don't remembe it exactly but Ron was talking about something and said
"Well this is Lakeshore Sunoco were talking about" recalling the sponsor to his Little League baseball team.:thumbup:

[FunkyDrummer]

I don't remembe it exactly but Ron was talking about something and said
"Well this is Lakeshore Exxon were talking about" recalling the sponsor to his Little League baseball team.:thumbup:

Yeah that was great, I think it was
http://www.eteamz.com/WNLLbaseball/images/Sunocologo.jpg

[silas]

Brooklyn blowhard says he will visit his elected officials in DC and give his opinions;

Fez= " your 2 o'clock fillibuster is here"

Ron = " i'd even prefer to have deniro from Taxidriver show up "

[tonedef04]

from thursday "i've never been that uncomfortable in my life.....and i've been part of a gang rape. and it was a Philly gang rape, so there was doo wop music playing!"

[tonedef04]

on Brooke Hogan, possibly posing for Playboy: "i'd love to see it. i'd love to take a nice long look at her cock."

[ahhdurr]

they say you must be attracted to the same woman; over and ... fuck-ing ... over...

[tonedef04]

after earl talks shit to elfish ron says "i get it, you got a new character called Cursing Man, but stop it already."

[tonedef04]

from wednesday

"i'm going to go out on a limb here, and say, that every musical is pretty horrible."

in his great singing voice "Sirius-XM......now with over a million channels!!!"

[Sue_Bender]

He was great today!

He said several funny things and I laughed many times.

I'm beginning to think he's doing it on purpose.

[tonedef04]

to dave "look at you. obviously we can look at you and know you're going to wendy's"

about fezzy "low self-esteem is banging him in the ass while he's sucking depression's cock! and heart disease is cumming on his face."