Ron's Line Of The Day (LOTD) [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

FreshJ

10-26-2006, 07:16 PM

"I don't think anyone in Philadelphia jacks off online, if anything they do it in front of a school like a gentileman." Ron LOTD 

This message was edited by FreshJ on 10-26-06 @ 11:22 PM

FezPaul

10-26-2006, 07:21 PM

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f281/FezPaul/preventx008.jpg

Landblast

10-26-2006, 07:30 PM

Rons Line OF The Second Week Of The NFL,.. ESD: ...Giants pulled out a victory Mr. B, Eli Manning, I must say, the best QB in the Eastern Conference,...RON: ...In the Eastern Conference!!,....He's not even the best quarterback in his family!!!,....  sorry FreshJ, missed most of the shoe today, had to dig in the mental archives. 

This message was edited by Landblast on 10-26-06 @ 11:35 PM

PapaBear

10-26-2006, 08:28 PM

My favorite line (was it this week or last?) Dave: What people don't know won't hurt them.Ron: You know who made up that saying? Ether rapists!

GlassJoe

10-26-2006, 09:00 PM

*Talking about guys at a concert who let girls sit on thier shoulders* "Any girl who sits on my shoulders is gonna be facing the opposite way.  I can't eat pussy off the back of my neck."

feralBoy

10-26-2006, 09:21 PM

I think it was a very simple line, but just shows the excellent word choice, and inflection that ron has.  When dave is eating the jelly after sticking his dick in it, ron is in the background saying:"You're a Monster!"I walk around my office all day saying that.  It cracks me up.

Patches

10-26-2006, 09:56 PM

FezPaul wrote: <img src="http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f281/FezPaul/preventx008.jpg" border="0" /> Christ dude... you're killin me.

TheGameHHH

10-26-2006, 09:59 PM

I can't believe you started this thread, about 20 minutes ago I heard the funniest Ron quote ever on my drive home from the bar. As soon as I heard it I thought that I had to start a thread on this board about how hysterical some of Ronnie's quotes are, with the thread title as "Ron's Quotes". Congrats to you for being quicker than me, what a great idea for a topic!

PapaBear

10-26-2006, 10:04 PM

TheGameHHH wrote: I can't believe you started this thread, about 20 minutes ago I heard the funniest Ron quote ever on my drive home from the bar. As soon as I heard it I thought that I had to start a thread on this board about how hysterical some of Ronnie's quotes are, with the thread title as "Ron's Quotes". Congrats to you for being quicker than me, what a great idea for a topic! So, what's the quote you tease?BTW... Since I can remember every single one of these quotes, should I feel like a loyal fan, or a radio loser? I'm actually hoping for "guy with a really good memory".

cozzie

10-26-2006, 11:47 PM

wackbag has had a thread like this up for awhile. If i'm riding around ,I'm writing on post it's, If at home I have a pad to jot them down.    Here's a few for you --- From yesterday, Dave: Iwas stupid when it came to tastebuds  Ron: only with tastebuds? how about math & reading

cozzie

10-27-2006, 12:00 AM

Ron to dave  Ron:you take $100 to a pound last night tossing dollar bills around like your at a tiitty club while puppiesjump on your nuts.    Ron to Dave,  Ron :you keep a pellet gun @ your house? Dave: Yeah   Ron: you afraid of being attacked by paper targets.  Ron last week : I'm eating a steak off a hookers head while she's blowing me.   A couple of weeks agog to Fez-- Ron; fez  I'm thinking about sneaking you into the Arlington cemetary when you die.  Fez: that would be nice. Ron: it'd be known as the grave of the unknown homo!  A while ago  Ron to Fez--Ron: you get any crazier and Earl will fuck you!    Ron: a 4yr old swings at , I'm knocking out baby teeth.   And an old 1 They were talking about comics with the guy from marvel and Bobby pantera was on the line--- Ron : i got my own radio show,  Bobby Pantera : I got my own myspace page.

PapaBear

10-27-2006, 12:31 AM

Help me out with this one... What band's album did Ron say he wouldn't want to clean Lucky Charms on? That one cracked me the Hell up.hint: seeds=marshmallows

Sleeves

10-27-2006, 03:05 AM

PapaBear wrote: Help me out with this one... What band's album did Ron say he wouldn't want to clean Lucky Charms on? That one cracked me the Hell up.hint: seeds=marshmallows  I'm remembering ZZ Top...

sailor

10-27-2006, 03:14 AM

FreshJ wrote: "I don't think anyone in Philadelphia jacks off online, if anything they do it in front of a school like a gentileman." Ron LOTD 

This message was edited by FreshJ on 10-26-06 @ 11:22 PM  uncut?

PapaBear

10-27-2006, 03:28 AM

Sleeves wrote:  PapaBear wrote: Help me out with this one... What band's album did Ron say he wouldn't want to clean Lucky Charms on? That one cracked me the Hell up.hint: seeds=marshmallows  I'm remembering ZZ Top... <img height="240" src="http://www.spielmannszug-avenwedde.de/besetzung/schlagwerk/cowbell.jpg" width="180" border="0" />

AKA

10-27-2006, 06:13 AM

(LOTD) Good thing you put "Line of the Day" first, or else people might think that Ron had replaced Michael Flatley as the "Lord of the Dance."<img src="http://www.topevents24.info/images/fotos/lord_of_the_dance_-_tour_2004.jpg" border="0" />

BYOBKenobi

10-27-2006, 07:19 AM

I wish I could remember how he worded it, but during the legendary "How many 9 year olds" bit Ronnie used the word "shatter" in reference to beating up a kid.  It makes me fucking howl every time I hear it.

lindak

10-27-2006, 07:30 AM

an old one - when Ronnie is talking to Paul-O about taking his wife to the Dr. Ron - "Ok Paul O take her to the vet now"   During ESD's abstinence period - ESD - "I'm not feeling so good"Ron - "Thats just a jizz backup" Just about anything Ronnie says cracks me up. <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/laugh.gif" border="0" />

FezPaul

10-27-2006, 07:36 AM

cozzie wrote:    A couple of weeks agog to Fez-- Ron; fez  I'm thinking about sneaking you into the Arlington cemetary when you die.  Fez: that would be nice. Ron: it'd be known as the grave of the unknown homo!  You left out Fezzies great comeback, Fez: I'm known!

TheGameHHH

10-28-2006, 12:28 AM

oh yea, my bad......ron's quote was, "personally, for every road trip I think there should be a one-hitter." Nothing terribly comical, but it killed me.

TjM

10-28-2006, 02:41 AM

Ron: Know what they would call a gay version of Ron and FezFez: What?Ron: Ron and Fez

MilkmanDann

10-28-2006, 07:12 AM

Yech Wackbag ripoff

Servo

10-28-2006, 07:49 AM

BYOBKenobi wrote: I wish I could remember how he worded it, but during the legendary "How many 9 year olds" bit Ronnie used the word "shatter" in reference to beating up a kid.  It makes me fucking howl every time I hear it. "To tell you the truth, you're gonna see some kids gettin' shattered!"

This message was edited by Tom Servo on 10-28-06 @ 11:49 AM

sithlord

10-28-2006, 02:59 PM

The other day when they were talking about drinking milk Ron said something like - "And what are we doing drinking Cow's milk anyway A cow's not our mother. And did you notice people are starting to look more and more like Cow's every year."

JamesInLA

10-28-2006, 07:36 PM

In regards to the 38 Special song..."This songs got more hooks than a fuckin' tackle box!"

Trucky42

10-28-2006, 08:06 PM

i heard both of these on the replay today and i thought they were both pretty good.while talking to master po, ron notices he has a rubber band on his wrist and asks him about it. after that ron says "you know who wears a rubber band on their wrist? you know who? a guy who shows his dick to kids that's who"after dawn cumia, anthony's sister serenades fez on the phone, ron says to her, "you know in some states it's illegal to tease a retard."

Trucky42

10-28-2006, 08:06 PM

i heard both of these on the replay today and i thought they were both pretty good.while talking to master po, ron notices he has a rubber band on his wrist and asks him about it. after that ron says "you know who wears a rubber band on their wrist? you know who? a guy who shows his dick to kids that's who"after dawn cumia, anthony's sister serenades fez on the phone, ron says to her, "you know in some states it's illegal to tease a retard."

docgoblin

10-29-2006, 12:59 PM

The day Earl's friend Lilly was in:Earl: (responding to Ron's asking whether he wanted to date Lilly) "I'm too dark!"Ron: "Earl, you're too dark to date midnight!" On the same show when they were giving Lilly suggestions for getting over her heartache:Ron: "Have you ever been abroad?"Lilly: "No, I..."Ron: "And by abroad I mean, have you ever slept with a woman?" Ron was on a roll that whole show. Fez had some great lines also.

BLZBUBBA

10-29-2006, 03:41 PM

A while back.  Not sure if it's the exact line but...."I feel like I'm pushing a boulder up a hill and you're all standing on it."

TheArtOfTheFU

10-29-2006, 06:54 PM

I love my little tagline or whatever....also, not an exact quote, but "you call me here again and i'll rip the phone off the wall....i'm not even kidding, i'll chase you down the street with it" also, any kind of throat punchheart punch line

TheGameHHH

10-29-2006, 08:30 PM

on the replay just now Earl makes a mention of the 60 day DL and ron cuts in with, "if DL means dick lips, then yea put Fez on it".....killed me.

FUNKMAN

10-29-2006, 08:38 PM

one line i can't get out of my head and still makes me laughabout 3 or 4 months back either earl or dave ask fez if he has any stress in his liferonnie jumps in with "what do you mean does fez have any stress, that's like asking a blizzard if it has any snow"i find it a bit more unique than some of the usual ronniesque lines and it just fucking tickles me

sithlord

10-30-2006, 02:59 AM

Holy shit that was a good one, I don't remember that one. It's so easy to miss all the great lines that they throw out during the course of the show that's why I try to re listen to them on the weekend you pick up on so much stuff that you miss the first time around.

Trucky42

10-30-2006, 03:01 PM

while talking about some celebrity divorce, on account of the guy cheated, ronnie says "you show me the hottest woman in the world, and i'll show you a guy that's tired of fuckin her"

Trucky42

10-30-2006, 03:01 PM

while talking about some celebrity divorce, on account of the guy cheated, ronnie says "you show me the hottest woman in the world, and i'll show you a guy that's tired of fuckin her"

lleeder

10-30-2006, 03:50 PM

What about today when they were talking about guilty pleasures. That song by Five for Fighting was on "One Hundred Years"and Ron said "John Mayer might be listening right now going this is amazing stuff"

bobbycapo

10-30-2006, 05:20 PM

What'd I do?  Sorry, tried to edit and I screwed the pooch....Anyways, don't remember how it was phrased, but during the 9-year-old fight bit... Ronnie says he may not win but he assures us "there'll be some crying parents when I'm done"How can you not laugh at that?Also... not exactly a line, but whenever that cow bell hits flesh... Ronnie earns his money.  And consequently Mr. Perfect then doubles it.

This message was edited by bobbycapo on 10-30-06 @ 9:30 PM

shittyhambrgers

10-30-2006, 10:09 PM

love these lines... Fez: And seeing your teacher outside of school was always weird. Ron: Yeah, it's like seeing their pussy; it just seems so personal.Fez: Can someone bring me her bib, please? Ron: Yeah, the adopted kid... grab the bib for the wanted baby.Fez: Why don't you throw a black party out in the Hamptons, Earl? Ron: That's what P. Diddy throws!  I don't give a fuck what they're wearing.my signature is fun too.

sithlord

10-31-2006, 02:57 AM

Yesterday when Fez was telling Ron he should save the winnings from Mr. Perfect Ron replies - Let me squint my eyes and see if you look like my Mother (pause) No but you sure sound like her.

Kurtis9

10-31-2006, 07:19 AM

Mr. Ron Bennington:"LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, IF A 6 YEAR OLD TAKES A SWING A ME, I'M KNOCKING OUT BABY TEETH, YOU HEAR ME?"

CdnRnF

10-31-2006, 02:17 PM

ron and dave talking about how dave can't impregnate chicks. "i dont really use condoms, and ive never gotten a girl pregnant" dave "I feel guilty pulling out and shooting on a chick" dave "thats the only thing to do , let them fucking sit in their shame and think about it"- RON

This message was edited by CdnRnF on 10-31-06 @ 6:48 PM

MadMatt

10-31-2006, 02:36 PM

shittyhambrgers wrote: love these lines... Fez: And seeing your teacher outside of school was always weird. Ron: Yeah, it's like seeing their pussy; it just seems so personal.Fez: Can someone bring me her bib, please? Ron: Yeah, the adopted kid... grab the bib for the wanted baby.Fez: Why don't you throw a black party out in the Hamptons, Earl? Ron: That's what P. Diddy throws!  I don't give a fuck what they're wearing.my signature is fun too. That "wanted baby" line killed me when he said it during the show.  So heartless and funny at the same time.  Ron is the best.

lleeder

10-31-2006, 03:17 PM

Talking to East Side today " nice job grab a porn for yourself"

FreshJ

11-02-2006, 03:40 PM

I caught 3 lines today alone.  This should make Ron happy, not all lines are wasted. 1) "I haven't talked to my chick in 5 weeks, It's been me, Earl and whores."2) "If me and my friends had a picnic, I'd be afraid everyone would start sucking each other's Cocks."3)While speaking with Fez.  "People would like to see you come back and do Comedy again."   I'm sure that I missed some more today, but with most every line a winner you can only post a few.

Bossanova

11-02-2006, 03:42 PM

My favorite was when he said that wackbag had about a thousand lines for his LOTD, and he said you only got about a tenth of my lines.  Or something to that order. Man I stink.

babybagadonuts

11-02-2006, 05:22 PM

hey sweet sig pic, hankisronaaron

Gvac

11-02-2006, 05:25 PM

FreshJ wrote: I caught 3 lines today alone. This should make Ron happy, not all lines are wasted. 1) "I haven't talked to my chick in 5 weeks, It's been me, Earl and whores."2) "If me and my friends had a picnic, I'd be afraid everyone would start sucking each other's Cocks."3)While speaking with Fez. "People would like to see you come back and do Comedy again." I'm sure that I missed some more today, but with most every line a winner you can only post a few.  I honestly just cracked up all over again reading these lines.  Good job, FreshJ!

babybagadonuts

11-02-2006, 05:28 PM

nice picks gvac,definatel some of the better ones today

lleeder

11-02-2006, 05:30 PM

I know wackbag started this thread 1st but we should make an effort to get this thread up to 1000 posts for Mr.B

fattypnemonia

11-02-2006, 05:31 PM

Gvac wrote: FreshJ wrote: I caught 3 lines today alone. This should make Ron happy, not all lines are wasted. 1) "I haven't talked to my chick in 5 weeks, It's been me, Earl and whores."2) "If me and my friends had a picnic, I'd be afraid everyone would start sucking each other's Cocks."3)While speaking with Fez. "People would like to see you come back and do Comedy again." I'm sure that I missed some more today, but with most every line a winner you can only post a few. I honestly just cracked up all over again reading these lines. Good job, FreshJ!   yeah good job.  i, too, couldnt help but laugh at these lines all over again.  the wit on that ron fella.  jeez.

babybagadonuts

11-02-2006, 05:37 PM

lleeder wrote: I know wackbag started this thread 1st but we should make an effort to get this thread up to 1000 posts for Mr.B O

babybagadonuts

11-02-2006, 05:37 PM

lleeder wrote: I know wackbag started this thread 1st but we should make an effort to get this thread up to 1000 posts for Mr.B K

Landblast

11-02-2006, 05:49 PM

the day Stalker Patti was in:SP: ...well, Ron,....you take it, and hold it by the hand, and you take your knife and cut it,.....Ron: ....oh really, you would cut your knife?,....

Trucky42

11-03-2006, 12:07 PM

from today....Ron: so you don't think fingering a chick should be considered rape?Dave: no, i don't.Ron: well tell your mother to watch herself in the supermarket later today.

Picasso Intern

11-03-2006, 01:26 PM

Ron: Does she live around
here? Can you drive to her now?

Paulie: No. I take the train.

Ron: Yeah...so does she.  "Buy a cake and eat it." "Half and a ride." "I didn't get banged in the ass so that you could leave the lights on."

Hottub

11-03-2006, 01:44 PM

"You ok now, Fezzie?""Yeah, I'm ok.""You still wanna do the show""Yes.""SHIT."

cd

11-05-2006, 05:59 AM

Beautiful line...always on the money

lleeder

11-05-2006, 09:57 AM

"Blew the money, or enjoyed himself" when talking about the Reverend Haggard

SouthSideJohnny

11-06-2006, 01:28 PM

From Friday - they were talking about the evangelist buying crystal meth from a male prostitute - he told Fez - "Drugs and gay sex, you should move out there.  You could be the Protestant Pope"Then, Bronx Johnny trumped it.  Talking about Fez's anxiety, "Smoke a spliff.  Tell everything to fuck itself."

FUNKMAN

11-07-2006, 08:18 AM

listening to the replay last night just as i'm pulling into my driveway i got a big laugh from this oneDave just played the intro song to his GOSSIP bit. A caller named Martin called in and knew what play or musical it was from, so ronnie replies"Martin, just for knowing that i gotta say you stink of cum" and then "and it's not yours"...

dannyssack

11-07-2006, 09:18 AM

Ron is amazing!

Earlshog

11-07-2006, 10:07 AM

Earl: that sounds like the poor mans Coney IslandRon: Earl the poor mans Coney Island is Coney Island

FreshJ

11-08-2006, 05:05 PM

When talking with Dave today over stealing material.

"You know who agrees with you? People who steal."

I would post one of the stories but those are tooo long.

FreshJ

11-08-2006, 05:10 PM

<hr color="cococo" align="left">FUNKMAN wrote: listening to the replay last night just as i'm pulling into my driveway i got a big laugh from this oneDaveÿjust playedÿthe intro song to his GOSSIP bit. A caller named Martin called in and knew what play or musical it was from, so ronnie replies"Martin, just for knowing that i gotta say you stink of cum" and then "and it's not yours"...<hr color="cococo" align="left">

That was a Great Line. So many Some times you miss them all.

All-Delco

11-08-2006, 06:01 PM

commenting on Britney Spears' renewed hotness...Ron:  "The only problem is that her pussy's been all K-Fedded."

TheGameHHH

11-08-2006, 08:54 PM

Ronnie, today, talking about how odds are if you came back and had another life you'd be an african AIDS baby. White men in America have already hit the lottery, it's like being playing on the '98 Yankees. I was dying from laughter.

FUNKMAN

11-09-2006, 06:06 AM

how about a little sheepy LOTD" i've got more bald eagles in my town than black people so that's cool "

Mohawk3

11-09-2006, 02:22 PM

The buy a cake line was one of my favorite things that Ron said.  I think I laughed for the next  20 minutes.  I thought  it was hilarious that he said he didn't even remember writing  that down.                 Picasso Intern wrote:   "Buy a cake and eat it."      <blockquote />

FreshJ

11-09-2006, 04:30 PM

In the Fight over Dave wanting to stay in the Garden of Eden today...."You would still be the Captian of a Fucking Petting Zoo."

About William Shatner's Game Show..."He's Shatastic."

Landblast

11-09-2006, 04:39 PM

about not talking about stories of old friends,.......I  don't care about the past, I' don't really care about the future, and have just a passing interest in the present,... 

This message was edited by Landblast on 11-9-06 @ 11:57 PM

kellermcgee21

11-11-2006, 05:28 PM

this is from a old show where ron was talking about explaining death to a kid...Fez: She's with the angels. Give them the she's with the angels speech.Ron: What I would always tell the kids, to make them feel comfortable, is grandmas under the ground now. She's in dirt.

FreshJ

11-11-2006, 06:11 PM

From Fez's Friday Fun.

Fez: " The most important organ in your body."

Ron: "Second."

Fez: "Brain????"

Ron "Cock."

This was during Fez's Meltdown. Sometimes the simple ones are best.

sithlord

11-12-2006, 03:43 AM

On Mondays show when Fez was crying, East Side started to cry and Ron asked him are you crying too? Dave sniffeling replies "no I'm cool". Ron than says something to the effect. That's the last thing you are. You are so far from cool you couldn't get cool if you were sitting in a freezer.

FreshJ

11-14-2006, 04:34 PM

"Fezzie take the laugh; whether they are laughing with you, or at you."

"I don't mind taking the Christ out of Christmas, but what I don't want to do is take the Han out of Hanukkah."

"I want you to see the world through a kid's eyes. The single uncle who comes to thanksgiving alone, That's the Pathetic Guy."

"I can see you slicking back your hair and wearing a too tight suit."

I'm sure I missed some, but these are some for today.

nassue

11-14-2006, 05:22 PM

hey budday's!!! new to board, saw the line of the days and had to post to honor my hero Mr. Ron Bennington"I'd rather my neighbor had a sign with the "n" word on it than someone who puts up early christmas decorations"  something to that effect.  had me laughing out loud by myself.

thatsterrific

11-15-2006, 01:20 AM

Not really "line of the day" but anytime Ron calls esd a "sick prick".And a nice little Fez line that had me laughing my ass off cause its just not like him Fez referring to Paulies mothers legs "her legs look like a loose hyman" I fuckin lost it.

FUNKMAN

11-15-2006, 12:39 PM

don't think it's " new thread " worthy but Jay had a good one today" i'm gonna drive my balls across everyone's forehead "

TheVHD

11-15-2006, 12:46 PM

Fezzy had a good line that got trampled... but I was laughing.  When talking about Kato Kaelin is the new K-Fed."K-Fed-by-OJ"- Fez Marie Whatley

This message was edited by TheVHD on 11-15-06 @ 4:47 PM

ralphbxny

11-15-2006, 01:34 PM

Anything Fez said today!!! He was on FIRE!!!!

FreshJ

11-15-2006, 04:34 PM

Ron while talking to ESD
"I was with you when a Hooker turned you down. And that Hooker turned you down to talk."

"You're 29 years old, why are you still going to Toys R Us?"

"They are even fair game for Rape. If you commit a crime then you are fair game for rape." Talking about a citizen's arrest.

Ron is right, Lots are still being Missed.

FreshJ

11-15-2006, 04:36 PM

<hr color="cococo" align="left">nassue wrote: hey budday's!!! new to board, saw the line of the days and had to post to honor my hero Mr. Ron Bennington<hr color="cococo" align="left">

Welcome to the Board, What a great 1st post.

Gvac

11-15-2006, 07:14 PM

Right at the end of "Ron & Fez as O&A" today, Ron killed me.  He said "Stop posting shit like 'This is the greatest show ever!  This is why I don't work!  This is why I refuse to get a job!'"

FreshJ

11-16-2006, 05:19 PM

Ron was on Fire Today.

"You know what I call a man who has two chicks and dumps one of them? Half a Fag."

"You do the Best Black Voice Earl."

"Fez's Real name is Todd and his real sexual orientation is None of the Above."

Gotta Love these and more.

TheGameHHH

11-16-2006, 09:38 PM

I know it isn't a "line" technically, but after Anthony hung up today and Ron played the car crash sound I burst out laughing. Great timing.

FUNKMAN

11-16-2006, 11:30 PM

"yeah" and "hmm"nobody can say them like ronnie

SouthSideJohnny

11-21-2006, 11:31 AM

From yesterday - "Jimmy - I'm sitting next to a guy who fucked a jar of jelly, and I have more respect for him than I do for you."

jetdog

11-21-2006, 11:36 AM

"Everybody thinks Lou Reed is a musical genious, but if I wrote this you'd think I was just being goofy" (something like that)or"Your so black you bend time"

Earlshog

11-21-2006, 11:57 AM

talking about Rex GrossmanESD: I hear he likes nose candyRon: Who dosen't

mikeyboy

11-21-2006, 12:01 PM

jetdog wrote: "Everybody thinks Lou Reed is a musical genious, but if I wrote this you'd think I was just being goofy" (something like that)at around the same time: "I don't know whether Lou Reed is the world's worst singer or the world's slowest rapper."

nassue

11-21-2006, 02:14 PM

mikeyboy wrote: at around the same time: "I don't know whether Lou Reed is the world's worst singer or the world's slowest rapper."Dammit!  I tried to post this but i was at work.  I fucken love the closing song great to hear Ronnie commenting on it.

Trucky42

11-22-2006, 03:47 PM

this was from today, i know it wasn't a new show but it was funny anyway:fez was talking about how when he was in school he'd color coordinate his folders and notbebooks, and ronnie said "i can't imagine you keeping your lunch money with system like that"

lleeder

11-22-2006, 03:54 PM

from best of today Ron said "28, by the time I was your age I had two kids and five abortions"

y2biz

11-22-2006, 06:37 PM

<Fez : Rumor has it that Lindsey Lohan has taken to cuttng herself<Ron : HAAAAAAAAADuh   

This message was edited by y2biz on 11-22-06 @ 10:38 PM

docgoblin

11-23-2006, 08:07 AM

Fez had a great line the other day when they were talking about rock star's kids getting into the music biz. Someone mentioned Kelly Osborne... Ron: "Yeah, she had a hit. What was the name of that song?"  Fez: "Fat out of hell!"He blurted it out so quickly I almost spit out my coffee. The timing was great.

TheGameHHH

11-25-2006, 10:41 PM

"No, you dont need to look harder, you just need to give me cash." Ronnie tonight talking about Fezzie's gift giving.

crued1

11-26-2006, 09:04 AM

they were talking about nationalities...caller: i`m german and irish,what does that make me? without losing a beat....Ronnie:faggot <img src="/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" width="18" height="18" />

jetdog

11-27-2006, 10:08 AM

"You actually drink yourself retarded"

tenbbs

11-28-2006, 08:14 PM

Caller's line of the day: "Two words Ronnie... Smoke Condoms!"   -HelicopterJay

lleeder

11-29-2006, 01:36 PM

Everytime I eat a steak I say at least I'm not eating a baby.

dotsncoms

11-29-2006, 02:36 PM

"We don't put down Bill Murray on this show" R.B.

docgoblin

11-29-2006, 04:09 PM

Two from yesterday's show when discussing the male contraceptive pill:Fez: Would you take the male contraceptive pill?Ron: I'll tell you this... I will definitely Say I've taken it, That I guarantee you!.. I get away with the invisible condom line all the time so this will probably work out as well.AND this great sequence:Dave (after someone suggested 'Smoke Condoms'): You don't want a smokey vagina! Smoke Condoms are gonna give you smoke, especially if you want to go down and nibble... Ron: I'm not takin' out my cigar even if i'm goin' down on her... I'm still keeping the cigar in... I'm keeping it to one side!.. 'cause i'm a gentleman! But I really don't like the idea of re-lighting...Fez: That's still gonna cause a burn.

FreshJ

11-30-2006, 07:08 PM

Ron's Words of Wisdom. "Don't tell people what they can't have. That's what they want." Ron: "Black guys have a more problems with their backs and legs then white guys do."Earl " Yeah, its From...."Ron "Running from the cops, jumping over fences, .......crack."  futher in the conversation....Ron: "You know what runs through Earls Family, that he has to watch out  for this? You know  Most Men in his Family have died from?"Fez: "No?" Ron "Shot by the Cops, So he Really has to really be tested and check for that all the time."     

This message was edited by FreshJ on 11-30-06 @ 11:14 PM

Trucky42

12-01-2006, 04:45 PM

a couple days ago when ron told fez he was "a dysfunctional family of 1" today ron said to fez: "what do you have planned for the weekend? you gonna do something disgusting then live in shame with a bible in your lap for the rest of the weekend?

TheGameHHH

12-01-2006, 10:31 PM

ron commenting on this thread, "ron's line of the day......the only thing on the internet that ive ever liked"

FezPaul

12-01-2006, 10:45 PM

TheGameHHH wrote: ron commenting on this thread, "ron's line of the day......the only thing on the internet that ive ever liked" Ahem...um...he was commenting on...um...the...uh...wackbag thread...<img src="/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/flush.gif" border="0" width="24" height="26" />

cd

12-05-2006, 04:52 AM

On yesterdays show, the boys were talking about states and Ron said that "hawaiians are Puerto Ricans that don't stab people"

GORILLABOB

12-06-2006, 10:11 AM

Yesterday 12-5-6 --During a discussion about wrestling with bears...Dave: Horses dont have arms.Ron: Oh yeah...? What about Quick-draw?

Big Jim

12-06-2006, 10:37 AM

Ron Bennington commenting on the song "There She Goes" "You listen to this song and you fuckin' lactate."  Pure genious.*JIM*

buckcorncobb

12-06-2006, 12:03 PM

when the buddies were talking about getting 'red wings'.... "i'd chew on the string ya fuckin faggot'

TheVHD

12-06-2006, 06:06 PM

"The Ron and Fez show... I'm Ron... that's Fez."

Crispy123

12-07-2006, 08:23 AM

to Earl: "You're black history month all the time"

FreshJ

12-07-2006, 05:03 PM

"We're Fucking Tier 3 radio at Best."

When talking about Life on Mars.
"The big Fear for me is that Mars Needs Women, and they are going to come here to take Ours."
Classic.

WeirdNormalAndy

12-07-2006, 10:21 PM

I don't know if somebody mentioned this one, it was from last week.  Ron referring to East Side Dave "we're not responsible for anything that comes out of his mouth, ass or penis"

sithlord

12-08-2006, 03:08 AM

Yesterday's show was great especially when they were pretending Fez was dead. Ron had a great line that almost slipped by me. Right after they "contacted" dead Fez dave said "holy shit I just felt something pass through me". Without missing a beat you hear Ron in the background say "Was it a Penis? Cause than it was probably Fez".

flavopop

12-08-2006, 03:54 AM

When Ronnie's buddy Rapp stopped by a couple weeks ago they were talking about how they partied so early in life and so hard that they had buried about 25 good friends and they didnt expect to live past 30 themselves, Ronnie comes out with this beauty...."Hey, you wanna sit with the cool kids in highschool, you aint gonna make it to the Old Age Home!"Brilliant!!!He also mentioned something about how Rapps Uncle used to cut his hair and sell hot items outta his barber shop..  "You could get a Regular Boys Haircut and also  leave with a case of Canned Goods!"The man is incredible!

GORILLABOB

12-08-2006, 11:04 AM

During todays show,12/8, Ron :"FUCK CBS!!! I watch Bravo more than I watch CBS."In light of the upcoming special announcement Ron is the bravest man in broadcasting.

Drunky McBetidont

12-08-2006, 11:11 AM

i was pretty fond of the cat and wine comment referring to ESD favorite dinner choice for friday nights

docgoblin

12-09-2006, 01:26 PM

In order to keep this thread going, as it should, here's a few classic lines from this week: When discussing the meaning and commercialization of Christmas:Earl: With our family now we've reached the point where we're just glad to be together...Ron: You're all glad to be out of jail with the amount of crack being smoked during the holidays. and another during that segment:Caller: If Jesus were alive today how do you think he'd buy into the whole fabrication of holiday shopping being incorporated by these stores just to make money?Ron: If jesus was alive today he'd throw up in his own mouth! and yet another about Cristmas:Ron (after Fez says he's getting Ron a Christmas gift): I'm not getting anyone gifts. I'm putting Christ back in Christmas this year... And I'm putting the Hanu back in Hanukkah. I want to get everyone back where they need to be.Caller: Ron... You gonna put the Kwan back in Kwanzaa?Ron: What I want to do is put the Juan back in Kwanzaa so we get the Blacks and Hispanics together. Then during a discussion of Christmas Movies:Ron: Out of all the Scrooge movies Mr. Magoo... All time favorite!Fez: Yeah, the Mr. Magoo cartoon one.Ron: That's a cartoon?Fez: Yeah.Ron: I just thought I was having reception problems. Here's a great one during the discussion of where Barry Bonds would end up:Dave: It wouldn't surprise me if he's being blacklisted...(Ani DiFranco plays)Ron: I don't want to list the Black people in baseball... I wouldn't mind if they started Asian-listing these bastards. And finally a great line from Fez:Ron: How are you spending New Years this year Big A?Fez: Dropping in Times Square?

Landblast

12-09-2006, 07:55 PM

today's replay: on Earls growing his hair out on a bet..R: Earl you should get corn rows..E: I've always liked corn rows, that wouldn't be too bad, I think...R: but use real corn...

SouthSideJohnny

12-12-2006, 07:39 AM

Talking about government monitoring of Dave's use of internet for Hitler pics:  It's one thing if you're doing a report "but it's different if you're having fun and jacking to Hitler pictures."

Crispy123

12-12-2006, 04:03 PM

From today, "We've all got those people that we wouldn't mind seeing have a stillborn baby." so true, so true.

FUNKMAN

12-12-2006, 06:30 PM

can't remember the whole thing but the other day they were talking about Fez being dead and in hell and Ronnie came out with"fez i just hope the devil stops shitting in your mouth long enough" and i can't remember the restthen they were talking about penis size and Fez said something like "mine is not that long but really wide" and ronnie replies "fills up the asses huh?"

MadMatt

12-12-2006, 06:39 PM

FUNKMAN wrote: then they were talking about penis size and Fez said something like "mine is not that long but really wide" and ronnie replies "fills up the asses huh?"Actually, they were talking about tongue size Dr. Freud...  <img src="/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/lol.gif" border="0" width="20" height="20" />

FUNKMAN

12-12-2006, 06:41 PM

MadMatt wrote: FUNKMAN wrote: then they were talking about penis size and Fez said something like "mine is not that long but really wide" and ronnie replies "fills up the asses huh?"Actually, they were talking about tongue size Dr. Freud...  <img src="/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/lol.gif" border="0" width="20" height="20" />   thanks for the assist sir!

aflover

12-13-2006, 10:07 AM

don't really remember it correctly but here i go.FEZ: i don't have a large tongue, but it is realy wide.RON: to fill the ass. 

This message was edited by aflover on 12-13-06 @ 2:10 PM

ObeyAni

12-13-2006, 10:34 AM

the ONLY reason i'll miss hearing about K-Fed is the way Ron says 'Kay-feyudd' haha

FreshJ

12-13-2006, 05:45 PM

The other day..."There's Life on Dave.  I've Discovered Water on Dave." "One thing I hate is people.  They drive me nuts." Thank you Ron B for the great lines everyday.

cd

12-13-2006, 07:33 PM

On todays show the boys were talkin about Fez's obsession vith tv dinners and ron said"can they be found in the desperate aisle of your grocers freezer" I thought that was just classic Ron slipping that one in there. CD

cd

12-14-2006, 03:56 PM

cd wrote: On todays show the boys were talkin about Fez's obsession vith tv dinners and ron said"can they be found in the depressed aisle of your grocers freezer" I thought that was just classic Ron slipping that one in there. CD

nassue

12-15-2006, 02:59 AM

"Ask your mother is the only advice any father should give."words of wisdom ronnie, words of wisdom

PD

12-15-2006, 08:59 AM

excuse me for not having the EXACT wording, "you wouldn't let your chick walk around with $15k in a briefcase, but you'll let her wear a $15k ring?"  I need to get Ronnie to explain that to my mrs.

Aizazzle

12-15-2006, 11:47 AM

Perhaps you should change the thread's name to : Black Ron's Line Of The Day

TheVHD

12-15-2006, 12:27 PM

"Your the Black Ron Bennington!!!"- ESD "WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT COME FROM??!!!!".... then cowbell BIRAGE!!!

TheVHD

12-15-2006, 12:27 PM

TheVHD wrote: "Your the Black Ron Bennington!!!"- ESD to Earl"WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT COME FROM??!!!!".... then cowbell BIRAGE!!!  Mah-bad... hit quote instead of edit.

This message was edited by TheVHD on 12-15-06 @ 4:30 PM

FreshJ

12-15-2006, 07:15 PM

"Mark I have a little math for you. Half black equals Black." And Ron KILLED on O and A this morning. "Maybe Fez can get some Cigars and Sunday Pants.  He needs pants that have a zipper in the back." 

This message was edited by FreshJ on 12-15-06 @ 11:16 PM

sailor

12-16-2006, 07:42 AM

from andre the giant saving the dolphin...andre: now my hands smell like fishron: at least now people won't think you're gay...todd

PigShitIrish

12-21-2006, 12:48 PM

In reference to Eskimos,"I know better now but when I was growing up we used to call them icicle n's"

fezstherapist

12-22-2006, 07:32 AM

WINNIE COOPER: THANKS A LOT DAVE NOW I HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK WITH A WET SKIRT RON: JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER DAY

burrben

02-05-2007, 07:13 PM

"all fez remembers is a pair of boots and then eating a bunch of ice cream after""do they have that? hair club for black men?""can you shit through a screen door and not hit it?"girl caller: they need salt water to stay moist. ronnie b: what makes you stay moist? girl caller: real nice"you hear that when he laughs? that's his clit shaking." "you wanna talk to me about paranoia? have you have sat up all night looking through a straw out the peephole?" "you better get him a cake cuz fez doesn't eat pie"

This message was edited by burrben on 2-5-07 @ 11:35 PM

docgoblin

02-11-2007, 05:39 AM

We gotta keep this thread alive!Ron had a line the other day that actually made me spit out my coffee when I heard it.The Rider was talking about sitting outside his girlfriend's house watching to see if anyone went in or if she went out:Rider: She's got a back door you know...Ron: Oooh I BET she does!Fez: That's what you gotta worry about!Rider: I mean a back door that you can open.Ron: Yeah, that's what I'm talking about too!  I'm laughing as I type this... hilarious! 

This message was edited by docgoblin on 2-11-07 @ 4:47 PM

Reynolds

02-12-2007, 02:48 AM

Earl, you're a vagina with size 12 shoes

burrben

02-13-2007, 07:48 PM

"if there is a god, he's got a little fat blonde straddled across him""Just because there's tears, doesn't mean it's rape""That's what's gonna get her; all this log cock talk""i'm gonna get some Slim-Jims and banana pudding and we'll watch OZ together"

FUNKMAN

02-13-2007, 08:48 PM

think it was last week but he was making a comparison of a famous characters long nose to Earl's nose. I don't believe he said Pinocchio although he was busting Earl for lies at the time. I belive the name started with an S.Anyway he said something to the effect " but Earl's yours is as wide as his is long "

PapaBear

02-13-2007, 08:59 PM

FUNKMAN wrote: think it was last week but he was making a comparison of a famous characters long nose to Earl's nose. I don't believe he said Pinocchio although he was busting Earl for lies at the time. I belive the name started with an S.Anyway he said something to the effect " but Earl's yours is as wide as his is long "Cyrano De Bergerac

weekapaugjz

02-13-2007, 09:08 PM

PapaBear wrote: FUNKMAN wrote: think it was last week but he was making a comparison of a famous characters long nose to Earl's nose. I don't believe he said Pinocchio although he was busting Earl for lies at the time. I belive the name started with an S.Anyway he said something to the effect " but Earl's yours is as wide as his is long "Cyrano De Bergerac http://www.alferezbalboa.net/imagenes/cyrano.jpgwhen i heard this the other day, i spit my drink all over the place.  not too many people can pull of a cyrano comment. cause most people have no idea who he is.

FUNKMAN

02-13-2007, 09:13 PM

one nice thing about the board is you always got buddays around willing to help out!Thanks Guys!!what makes it really funny is imagining Earl's face after he said it. he probably had that "damn that shit is cold" look on his face

PapaBear

02-13-2007, 09:16 PM

I say Funk, Weeka, and I should get together and write a screenplay to honor the memory of Cyrano. We can change it up a bit, though. It can be set in modern times. Cyrano can be a fire chief. I'm going to suggest Steve Martin for the lead.

This message was edited by PapaBear on 2-14-07 @ 1:17 AM

FUNKMAN

02-13-2007, 09:19 PM

PapaBear wrote: I say Funk, Weeka, and I should get together and write a screenplay to honor the memory of Cyrano. We can change it up a bit, though. It can be set in modern times. Cyrano can be a fire chief. I'm going to suggest Steve Martin for the lead.    good idea, gotta have a hot blonde though

weekapaugjz

02-13-2007, 09:21 PM

PapaBear wrote: I say Funk, Weeka, and I should get together and write a screenplay to honor the memory of Cyrano. We can change it up a bit, though. It can be set in modern times. Cyrano can be a fire chief. I'm going to suggest Steve Martin for the lead. This message was edited by PapaBear on 2-14-07 @ 1:17 AM i just did some searching to double check this great idea of yours, but i think the idea has unfortunately been used.  you should be about as pissed off as dave's brother and his failed meds show.  damn the jerks who created roxanne and scrubs...

weekapaugjz

02-14-2007, 06:55 AM

ronnie on o&a, "earl, if you ever want to go back and get that feeling, just go over and smell than's dick."i know its early, but this one might be hard to top.

fezshog

02-14-2007, 03:46 PM

"earl...you want some ass bagel?"

Crispy123

02-15-2007, 07:03 AM

On yesterdays FART POSSEE showRon to Earl: go with the bit mutherfuckerto Fez: Fez put lipstick on your asshole and see if Earl will finish it up

drjoek

02-16-2007, 09:13 AM

During replay of the other day where they were talking about going to heaven Ron asked if they were going to be eating "CLOUD BURGERS"   WWRD

burrben

02-16-2007, 08:52 PM

"you got a blowjob? what was his name?"

docgoblin

02-17-2007, 07:24 AM

Earl: I've just been horse all weekendRon: From what... Horse cock?!

WearNormaJeans

02-17-2007, 08:36 PM

R: "You know what the worst STD is? Babies."

DoubleJ

02-20-2007, 05:50 AM

From Free FM last night:  Fez: Now with Sunday's Post and Daily News ...Ron: I'm starvin' - we got any sundaes?Earl: Uh, no we don't.Ron: (casually) Alright, then I'll just have a chocolate shake. It was a delightful twist on a show staple.

asssoup

02-22-2007, 07:35 AM

Ron:  Lenay, you ever worry about your parents getting divorced?Lenay: No.Ron: I've been hearing thingss.Lenay:  from who?Ron:  You're Dad's girlfriend.

DoubleJ

02-22-2007, 01:45 PM

Caller: How many times you see women, they stay with men who beat them constantly ...Ron: I've been with those women.

docgoblin

03-03-2007, 06:42 PM

A great line this past week (with Dave as straight man) While discussing Earl's giving up cheese for Lent:Dave: What kind of man eats cheese and crackers in bed?Ron: I know!... He sits there alone at night eating cheese and crackers, watching the cartoon network! And this one when they were talking about Dave's girl with the chef:Ron: He did what all of us would do. He mouthfucked this little thing until he was finished! 

This message was edited by docgoblin on 3-3-07 @ 10:51 PM

Golfman

03-05-2007, 05:56 AM

A couple weeks ago he was talking and said "that's daawwwwwwgshit" it was perfect timing, even he started chuckling after he said.  Ronnie B in '08!

ralphbxny

03-05-2007, 07:06 AM

The I 57 reads have been awesome!!!

Rockvillejoe

03-05-2007, 08:34 AM

I know it's early in the show, but so far, "man what's it like to be stupid" twice and it's on 34 minutes in,

J.Clints

03-05-2007, 10:52 AM

I think ''little jesus bones'' needs to be on todays line of the day ballot

FUNKMAN

03-05-2007, 02:30 PM

Dookie Digit

stump12

03-05-2007, 03:08 PM

Fez "we never find out who was behind the mask"Ron "It was Dave"

J.Clints

03-05-2007, 04:17 PM

stump12 wrote: Fez "we never find out who was behind the mask"Ron "It was Dave"  I still dont get this? It was dave? What is going on. The rider left the show and dave is still there..So he was wrong

Doctor Z

03-05-2007, 04:19 PM

Ron (as Dave's mom/Iris voice): "Bring her into the oxygen tank and lemme take a look at her."

Crispy123

03-14-2007, 06:34 AM

Yesterdays xm show talking about Jesus"He won the hearts and minds of an entire planet of white people. And some blacks too Earl don't be offended, the house ones are with us on that."

lleeder

03-14-2007, 02:39 PM

If he was white he would have been home sleeping, he had work the next day <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/lol.gif" border="0" width="20" height="20" />

FreshJ

03-14-2007, 04:49 PM

Monkey HOUUUUUSSSSSEEEE

lleeder

03-16-2007, 03:54 PM

Casey: The first time we hung out we both said we would get anchor tatoosRon: Yeah cause your weighing each other down

Picasso Intern

03-16-2007, 05:15 PM

"By the way, I've been getting e-mails from a shrink offering to beat me up when I said I could beat up any therapist. He's six foot five, 285. He's in the Midwest. I'm like, 'Fuck you. Come on down here. I have short red hair and no eyebrows.' "

J.Clints

03-16-2007, 05:17 PM

lleeder wrote: Casey: The first time we hung out we both said we would get anchor tatoosRon: Yeah cause your weighing each other downI think this has to be the FM LINE OF THE DAY

ralphbxny

03-16-2007, 05:19 PM

Far too many lines today! Ron B was on fire, but my fav was the Anckor line!

Arch Stanton

03-16-2007, 05:22 PM

And for my 1,000 post, I have the honor of droppin' this from a live read for The Titans 03/16/2007: You can pick me out on line 'cause I always do this. I take my thumb and cover the last part of the word, the ans, so it looks like I am going to see The Tit.

patsopinion

03-19-2007, 04:19 PM

id like to see this make line of the day

lleeder

03-19-2007, 04:36 PM

Sorry SensaiSensai is my father, call me Ron.

ralphbxny

03-19-2007, 04:45 PM

lleeder wrote: Sorry SensaiSensai is my father, call me Ron.Hysterical!!

ChoppedLiver

03-19-2007, 06:00 PM

"I'd like to see this as the 'line of the day' ..." Another vote here

This message was edited by ChoppedLiver on 3-19-07 @ 10:05 PM

JustJon

03-20-2007, 09:01 AM

"Don't give it away, it's only been out for 50 years"

BLZBUBBA

03-20-2007, 04:00 PM

Forgot this thread so here's one from the NFL playoffs after playing the Romo song that offended COWBOY fans...And dealing with a COWBOY fan who called in..."Why don't you dig up Tom Landry's corpse,  take a shit in his skull,  and kick that through the uprights!"

J.Clints

03-20-2007, 04:06 PM

We will call it a full Martin Luther King Jr

Crispy123

03-20-2007, 06:30 PM

todays xm showRon: One time my family went on vacation to the black sea, stayed there for a weekFez: How Was it?Ron: Someone stole our hubcaps, what my dad used to call ramps. <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/lol.gif" border="0" /> priceless

Crispy123

03-21-2007, 01:01 PM

Save it for the air Fez, I don't want any great stories....

ralphbxny

03-21-2007, 01:04 PM

He was on fire today!!

ralphbxny

03-21-2007, 01:09 PM

Lets call the moon martin luther king and two oceans!

Marc with a c

03-21-2007, 04:49 PM

thanks for liking the show, try and be smarter.

PapaBear

03-21-2007, 04:53 PM

Marc with a c wrote: thanks for liking the show, try and be smarter. Loved that one.

Mike from Bklyn

03-21-2007, 04:54 PM

You got ther first Marc.

HeyGehry

03-21-2007, 05:24 PM

Fez is on the Mohr-Cox program.....

Cleophus James

03-22-2007, 08:51 AM

.093, I'm going to the Liquer store

ralphbxny

03-22-2007, 09:06 AM

You and Fez grew up in flood zones....what my old man was the only one smart enough to go to the top of the hill!

patsopinion

03-22-2007, 04:54 PM

i think this is the 4th day in a row we have beaten up paul mccartney. and every time on a different issue

Zito

03-22-2007, 10:47 PM

the best RB line ever......."Did your son tell my boy to say his tea tastes like pussy juice?""number 1 - did I say it or did your kid?number 2 - I'm eight - how do I know what pussy juice tastes like?number 3 - my mother has some beautiful chocolate pudding waiting for me right nowand it's time for me to go have my desert.......so I will say good day to you sir" FUCKING CLASSIC!!!!!!!!I know it's older - but that shit rules!

patsopinion

03-23-2007, 03:16 PM

dave gets one"if i buy a car and its half broken..."when discussing a family that got a black sperm donor

docgoblin

03-26-2007, 06:46 AM

This was a great exchange from Friday. This was after they mentioned humans eating food tablets in the future:

Fez: I want to chew and swallow...
...I MEAN FOOD!

Ron: By food, do you mean cum?

Fez: NO!

Ron: Does this food come out of a cock?

Fez: No, it comes from the store and is prepared.

Ron: Does this food drip down your asshole?... Because you might mean cum...

Fez: No! I mean actual food!

Ron: Shaped like Hawaii?... 'Cause you know what I'm thinking?...

Fez: What?

Ron: Cum.

Fez: No it's not cum! It's food, it's chicken, it's Roast Beef... French fries...

Ron: Does it smell like chlorine?

Fez: NO!...

Ron: ...'Cause that could have been cum...
...Why are you getting sick Earl... thinking about Fez drinking cum?

Gvac

03-26-2007, 10:34 AM

To the caller Shannon - "You're killing me. If you get any worse I'm gonna have to put you on the staff."

celery

03-26-2007, 01:43 PM

This little one killed me for some reason:

Caller: Fez, you forgot some important information about that story - who's the guy that died?

Fez: The gospel group is called Legacy Five.

Ron: Four now...

J.Clints

03-26-2007, 01:52 PM

I dont know it word for word but the whole thing about Mikey D and his daughter was great. Ron was the best during the whole thing.

SouthSideJohnny

03-26-2007, 02:00 PM

This was a great exchange from Friday. This was after they mentioned humans eating food tablets in the future:

Fez: I want to chew and swallow...
...I MEAN FOOD!

Ron: By food, do you mean cum?

Fez: NO!

Ron: Does this food come out of a cock?

Fez: No, it comes from the store and is prepared.

Ron: Does this food drip down your asshole?... Because you might mean cum...

Fez: No! I mean actual food!

Ron: Shaped like Hawaii?... 'Cause you know what I'm thinking?...

Fez: What?

Ron: Cum.

Fez: No it's not cum! It's food, it's chicken, it's Roast Beef... French fries...

Ron: Does it smell like chlorine?

Fez: NO!...

Ron: ...'Cause that could have been cum...
...Why are you getting sick Earl... thinking about Fez drinking cum?

I finally got my wife to listen to part of the replay while we were eating dinner Sunday. Of course, this was the bit they went into right as we are in the middle of dinner. I actually had to turn off the replay myself I was getting so nauseated.

docgoblin

03-26-2007, 06:33 PM

I finally got my wife to listen to part of the replay while we were eating dinner Sunday. Of course, this was the bit they went into right as we are in the middle of dinner. I actually had to turn off the replay myself I was getting so nauseated.

Yeah, sometimes it's not something you listen to while eating. But it was damn funny!

suggums

03-26-2007, 06:40 PM

"You'll just have to try alternate methods, yoga..."

"Yogurt? We got any yogurt?"

MrMarcus

03-27-2007, 01:33 PM

When talking about Rudy's wife, Judy Nathan's, revelation that she's on her third marriage.

Ron: "I won't be one of those reporters who will ask, 'So how many men have eaten at Nathan's?' I won't do it".

I was listening on a walkman and started laughing out loud in the street.

Don Stugots

03-27-2007, 01:35 PM

it made me think of someone special:

"What kind of person goes to Medieval Times?"

J.Clints

03-27-2007, 01:37 PM

Ronnie "we should call them the little stones"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

docgoblin

03-28-2007, 06:22 AM

Here's two gems (out of many) from yesterday:

Ron: Come on in Earl, you're with us now. Fez, you can be blood brothers with Earl. I don't want to get any black in my body... I'll be the first white guy to get sickle cell.

And this great exchange:

Ron: I'm working on a screenplay called "Killing your friends..." and guess what?

Fez: What!?

Ron: You guys are all in it. You guys are all in my screenplay

Fez: How does it end?

Ron: I get away... And the show is even better.

Fez: I worry about how it begins.

Ron: It ends so happy... I get a better show. I don't want to ruin it but I might start the movie with a better show, then I'll show how I got there. Kind of like "American Beauty."

Dave: So it's like a Drama/Horror thing...

Ron: No, it's a comedy... It's a black comedy because Earl's in it...

IamFogHat

03-28-2007, 08:33 AM

In response to Dave commenting on how all of Ron's senses are heightened thanks to his lack of sleep:
Ron: "Everything sounds like it's there to kill."

PapaBear

03-30-2007, 11:30 AM

(paraphrasing)

"It's like we're hanging on the driftwood, and Jaws has died."

RIP Gail O

Bill From Yorktown

03-30-2007, 01:34 PM

Fez - what kind of hotel has bunkbeds?!!?
Ron - Bellvue

burrben

03-30-2007, 02:53 PM

earl's 'fella fitzgarald'

burrben

03-30-2007, 03:21 PM

"that's why they hate the yankees, they took away their help"

J.Clints

03-30-2007, 03:22 PM

Earl you needed help with these people

burrben

03-31-2007, 09:43 AM

"you'd be better off getting him slippers instead of strippers, but to tell you the truth we're gonna put our feet in both of them"

burrben

03-31-2007, 09:47 AM

"i worry when a guy that sounds like you says 'don't forget the cherries.' i'm afraid the whole place is gonna get raided"

Fezticle98

04-02-2007, 11:34 AM

Last week, re: Dave's wiffleball game with Casey:

"Did you check her for quim?"

landarch

04-02-2007, 06:09 PM

On tonight's Free FM show, debating whether kids emulate video games:

Ron: Hey Earl, you played Donkey Kong as a kid, right?
Earl: Sure
Ron: And Anthony's not chasing you around the studio now is he?

Something like that. Hilarity.

Arch Stanton

04-03-2007, 09:51 AM

I'm pissing butter

Furtherman

04-03-2007, 09:56 AM

On being told he said Scorcese instead of Coppola:

I did? Whay didn't anyone correct me?! Why did you let me run down Nutty Street?!

ralphbxny

04-10-2007, 10:26 AM

You have the physical strength of a Fetus!!

Jo_anne

04-10-2007, 06:18 PM

"What I'm trying to do is get the stupid white people to keep their head down, I'm trying to clean house. Allright?"

"We're gonna let the smarter white people talk this one out."

"Here's what I want you to do. If you look out your window and you see any kind of farm animal, don't call in today. This is a day for you to take off, not get involved. I wanna go A-Team on this. I'm lookin' for a lot of fast breaks."

Classic!

p.s.

"Deb I disagree with ya. I know that you can look out your window and see farm animals, that's why I don't want you calling in today. Don't tell me sometimes smart people have farm animals."

FreshJ

04-11-2007, 03:27 PM

Ron on tuesday 4-10
"You never hear me bragging about the Degrees that I've gotten. Do you know what school I went to? Hard Knocks that's my school. Our colors Black and Blue. Let's see what your degree will do for you at 4 o'clock in the morning. A satchel of cash, a kilo of coke and 3 crazy Columbians. Let's see what your degree gets you then."

Well said mr Bennington, well said.

patsopinion

04-11-2007, 03:30 PM

Ron on tuesday 4-10
"You never hear me bragging about the Degrees that I've gotten. Do you know what school I went to? Hard Knocks that's my school. Our colors Black and Blue. Let's see what your degree will do for you at 4 o'clock in the morning. A satchel of cash, a kilo of coke and 3 crazy Columbians. Let's see what your degree gets you then."

Well said mr Bennington, well said.

i started a thread a 4 in the morning the other night about ronnies school of hard knocks?

strange

TooLowBrow

04-11-2007, 03:42 PM

Ron on tuesday 4-10
"You never hear me bragging about the Degrees that I've gotten. Do you know what school I went to? Hard Knocks that's my school. Our colors Black and Blue..."

Ron's mentioned that he heard Vince Vaughn use this quote on Letterman years ago

Crispy123

04-13-2007, 04:56 AM

I need a title of a book that's gonna get everyone to buy it
right now I got one called "How to make the Ladies Moist".
Who's not going to pick that one up?

nassue

04-13-2007, 02:49 PM

talking to Dave about his sex life

"what cha need is a big bucket of shrimp, that way every once in a while you take a shrimp break."

so fucken out of the blue; brillant

Rod-o

04-14-2007, 11:11 AM

fronting & talking like he's a badass, with the fucking this & fucking that, I used to listen to his Ron & Ron show in south Fla and the show was as entertaining as it is in New York. But when did he start all of this Tuff Stuff? Is it because he's back in NY and wants to paint a persona? I don't think it's necessary, Fez is a great foil for the show and Earl definitely contributes in his way, but Ron's false bravado sets me off due to that's not the way he portrayed his personality previously. If anyone can give me an explanation for it, I would really appreciate it..I'm not being negative, I am a fan of the show. I'm going to miss Paul & Gail's conversations, they were classic radio. What operation was she having done? Thanks,

sithlord

04-16-2007, 12:16 PM

Fez had a great one today. when they were talking about how "special needs" children are integrated into classrooms and Dave said "there wasn't any in my school". To which Fez replied almost whispering"It was you Dave".

bostonronandfezfan

04-18-2007, 04:27 PM

there are so mant great lines im always driving and i cant write them down. ron is a fucking GENIUS. he is a quick witted comedy genius

Bossanova

04-18-2007, 04:30 PM

there are so mant great lines im always driving and i cant write them down. ron is a fucking GENIUS. he is a quick witted comedy genius

Let me start by saying welcome to the board. Please post an actual LOTD so we can get this thread some respectablity. And yes, he is a genius.

MilkmanDann

04-18-2007, 10:40 PM

Let me start by saying welcome to the board. Please post an actual LOTD so we can get this thread some respectablity. And yes, he is a genius.

Its got great respectability. Where it originated. Another msg board. Imitation sincerest form of .. whatever )
Love the Ronfez.net, Love the Wackbag.
Keep the Line of the day flowing

ralphbxny

04-19-2007, 08:20 AM

I was 9 and I remember what I said...your not going to fuckin pin this on me!!!

Jinxed

04-19-2007, 03:23 PM

One of my favorites from Ron, and I'm not sure I can call it a "line", but it was damn funny anyway, was from last summer when the boys were talking about airport security. Fez was discussing how you can no longer bring liquids on board and the conversation drifted to the fact you can't bring lighters on board either. Fez explained that they confiscate them.

RON: "Fuck that! What about the gold Zippo my Uncle gave me when I was seven? They ain't getting that!" He continued, "It's engraved just for me. He carried it throughout the Vietnam War with him!"

FEZ: "What did he have it engraved with Ronnie?"

RON: ~~acting like he's reading the inscription (kinda quiet), "They screamed as we burned their huts." He then repeats it even quieter as if he's getting filled up, "They screamed as we burned their huts... God, I miss that guy..."

Pause...

FEZ: ""You were seven!? And your Uncle gave you a lighter!!!... With this inscription on it?!!! They burned these people's houses when they were still in them alive?!!!"

RON: "Yeah Fez, it's a little thing called war my friend... A little thing called war..."

To this day I laugh everytime I think of this!

AnnoyedGrunt

04-19-2007, 03:43 PM

This one was back in the WJFK days so I know I don't have it word for word but I think it's pretty close. The Hideout had left for Florida a couple months earlier and one day Benicio showed up back in DC. He ran back home because Jefe and J Dubs were mistreating him and Ron had some words of advice.

Ron: "You can't let them push you around like that. I remember when I was a kid my parents used to spank me. So one night I snuck in to their bedroom, climbed on to the bed, put a shotgun under my mom's chin and whispered 'Give me a reason, lady. Give me a f'n reason'."

Fez: "WHAT? How old were you?"

Ron: "I think I was eight. That's not important. What is important was that everything changed after that. The next morning my Mom made me pancakes. Pancakes and Twizlers!"

Jinxed

04-19-2007, 05:19 PM

I just thought of another one that had me screaming laughing...

RON: "Earl, you did you know that Fez calls you the "N" word behind your back, right?"

EARL: "What?! I can't believe that Fez said that about me."

RON: "Look, Fez said it, I said it... what matters is that it was said."

bostonronandfezfan

04-20-2007, 04:54 PM

i dont remember it exactly maybe you all can help me out but last week ron said what are you going to do with a degree when theres three crazy columbians and some coke then he said you know what you got then earl earl ?ron all you got is your balls. maybe you guys can get it right but it was a fucking laugh riot.

burrben

04-20-2007, 08:51 PM

when telling his future in-laws how he's going to support their daughter

"i'm going to sell second-hand clothes out of your mother's 'c'"

and paraphrasing.

ron -just like the movie "3 weddings and a funeral.

fez - you mean "four weddings and a funeral?"

ron - there was another wedding? i left early

docgoblin

04-21-2007, 09:40 AM

when telling his future in-laws how he's going to support their daughter

"i'm going to sell second-hand clothes out of your mother's 'c'"

I liked the line during the 'meeting the in-laws' bit (paraphrasing):

"I was real nice when I met my chick's parents. I gave her five minutes to say goodbye. And I told them if we have any kids, you're getting pictures."

Jinxed

04-21-2007, 12:35 PM

Again, perhaps not a "line" per se, but funny just the same... A great example of Ron's verbal surgical precision.

Ron to a bad caller: "You joyless fuck!"

Poochie

05-01-2007, 08:26 AM

This one made my night :

"So 12 bucks for basically being head raped"

(4/30)

sailor

05-01-2007, 09:33 AM

i'm gonna go back to being a teen and bang some 15 year old pussy. like the old days...or today.

AnnoyedGrunt

05-01-2007, 12:45 PM

Fez was talking about how he can't pee in Ron's downstairs bathroom because they might hear his splashing.

Ron: "I just shout out 'Listen closely, you're about to hear the deep sounds of Ronnie B'."

Marc with a c

05-01-2007, 01:13 PM

Fez was talking about how he can't pee in Ron's downstairs bathroom because they might hear his splashing.

ron has a downstairs?

big pimpin ronnie b

BoondockSaint

05-01-2007, 01:43 PM

ron has a downstairs?

big pimpin ronnie b

You should see his yard.

AnnoyedGrunt

05-01-2007, 02:20 PM

Now that I think about it, i don't know if he said 'downstairs' or not. I could be thinking of one of the many times they talked about Fez' pee shyness at WJFK.

sailor

05-01-2007, 02:45 PM

Now that I think about it, i don't know if he said 'downstairs' or not. I could be thinking of one of the many times they talked about Fez' pee shyness at WJFK.

prob down the hall or such

thefirebuilds

05-02-2007, 06:31 PM

"We can't have that in a post-Imus world..."

IamFogHat

05-03-2007, 09:17 PM

This was a few weeks ago, but when I heard it on the best of last week I forgot that I had wanted to put this down, and now I'd like to nominate it as one of the best lines of all time.
In regards to how cute a dog was, Fez asked what kind of dog it was. Then Ron says
"I don't know, it's an dog. It's like a little animal dog."
If you didn't hear it I don't know if you'll laugh, but the delivery made me almost crash my car, and this was the second time I'd heard it in about two weeks.

sithlord

05-04-2007, 02:47 AM

Ron had a great one the other night. I forget what they were talking about but Dave was very angry and said something to the effect "it will be W, A, R and that's how I spell War. And I don't know where he pulled this from but without missing a beat Ron says yeah well I spell GWAR. Than asks Earl do you think anyone will even get that reference.

docgoblin

05-05-2007, 02:15 PM

When they were talking about Earl interrupting their meeting with John Minelli:

Fez: It was the most timid knock ever!
Ron: It sounded like a mosquito's dick dry-humping the door!

Ronnie was on fire after Beanie's phone conversation the night of the real proposal. He had me almost peeing my pants:

"We ordered a pitcher of beer then we found out Lindberg had landed!"